Looks Ready To Checkout Early

| Rotterdam, The Netherlands | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

(I am asked to train the new guy to use the register. I am told that he has been present for a few hours already, which leads me to assume he has already gotten some practice, especially since he is already sitting at one of the registers with another coworker standing behind him. Since I work at a location of our store that is generally hard to reach and where business is generally slow, I decide to immediately give him a shot at showing me what he has learned so far. I stand behind him to keep an eye on what is going on so I can step in whenever he needs help. Soon enough, the first customer approaches.)

New Guy: “Uhm… so, what do I do?”

Customer: “Oh, that’s just great!”

Me: *slightly surprised* “Oh, it’s all right. It’s easy; just scan all the items like this…”

Customer: “Are you serious? Just f****** do beep beep already and get it done with.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I promise you this won’t take any longer than usual –”

Customer: “Why can’t you just do this yourself?! He’s obviously too stupid to do it.”

(I’m getting irritated by the customer’s unnecessary rudeness, which is actually just causing him to have to wait longer.)

Me: “Everybody’s got to learn how to do their job somehow. How do you expect him to do that if he’s not even allowed to try?”

Customer: “What’s wrong with companies nowadays, hiring all these dumb children?! DO YOU EXPECT ME TO PAY HIS COLLEGE TUITION ALSO?!”

(By now, the new guy is starting to look really upset, so I tell him to switch back and ask him to just watch how I do it. The customer continues to rant about how he earned this and that in life and how he has his own business, that time is money, and that everyone seems to be wasting his time constantly.)

Me: “That’s good for you, sir, but everyone has to start somewhere. Here’s the receipt. Have a nice day!”

(The customer grabs his stuff without replying and storms off.)

Me: *to the new guy* “I’m so sorry about that. I must have misjudged the situation! I thought you had gotten some experience earlier, but it seems you didn’t. So in that case, I’ll let you watch me do it for about half an hour before you try again yourself. Don’t worry, customers this bad rarely show up here.”

Next Customer In Line: *while I’m processing their purchase and grinning* “Oh, actually, I come here very often and the people in line before me are mostly this rude.”

Next Customer In Line’s Wife: *also smiling* “Oh, don’t scare the boy like that!” *to the new guy* “I didn’t really understand what that man got so upset about, but you definitely didn’t deserve such a bad start. You’ll learn it soon enough.”

(I’m glad the next customers were so nice to him, because he certainly wasn’t eager to try again later!)

Ending His Competitive Streak

| NY, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Liars & Scammers, Popular

(I am a customer, picking up a few things for a project at home. I get my things and go to the cash registers to check out. I arrive in the middle of an argument between a cashier and a customer.)

Customer: “I don’t care what your policy is; you have to match this price!”

Cashier: “I am sorry, sir, but as I have already told you, we can’t price match unless it is the exact same product. This is [Brand #1] and that advertisement is for [Brand #2].”

Customer: “They would do this at [Competitor]!”

Cashier: *reaches into pocket of her apron, pulls out a sheet of paper, and hands it to the customer* “Well, sir, you are welcome to go to [Competitor].”

(The customer then yells in frustration and storms off. I get up to the cashier and set my things on the counter.)

Me: “What was that you just gave him?”

Cashier: “He comes in at least once a week to try some scam to get stuff for cheap or free, and I got sick of it. He almost always ends with ‘they do this at [Competitor]’ and I figured, since it is my last week here before I go back to school, I would give him directions and a map to the nearest [Competitor] store.”

Legal Tax Is Illegally Taxing

| MN, USA | Home Improvement

(I work in building materials at a large hardware chain where I commonly do estimates for all sorts of projects. On a slow night, a customer with a fairly thick accent comes up and we work up a drywall estimate for his basement.)

Me: “Alright, so, your total is [amount] before tax. Is this something you would like us to deliver or are you picking it up yourself?”

Customer: “How much is delivery?”

Me: “For a driveway drop off it would be [amount].”

Customer: “Really? I guess I’ll pick it up tomorrow.”

(The customer leaves and returns within a few minutes and hands me the paper.)

Customer: “The girl at the register tried to charge me more than what is on this sheet! I want you to come with me to make sure I only pay this.”

Me: “I’m sorry about that, sir, but the system is set up to only charge you this number on the paper. How much was the bill?”

Customer: *slightly higher than ticket amount*

Me: “Okay, but this ticket is just for the pre-tax total. Tax is applied at the register.”

Customer: “Taxes?! Why should I have to pay taxes? I’m an illegal!”

Me: *stunned* I’m sorry, sir, everyone pays taxes. It’s the law.”

Customer: “Then I guess I will have to buy my products from people who don’t charge tax!”

(He stormed off and left his purchase ticket with me.)

Caught Red-Painted

| USA | Home Improvement, Liars & Scammers, Popular

(I work in the paint department. We have a policy of changing the color of left-behind paint or stain after closing, since it gets marked down in price. A contractor orders several five-gallon tubs of wood stain in a natural color, but never comes to get it. I have a hunch, and dye each five-gallon a vastly different, but still usable color. Sure enough the next day he comes in, goes straight for the marked down stain, and begins loading them onto his cart before he notices the colors are all different. He angrily storms over to the desk.)

Contractor: “Why are these all different colors?”

(Knowing full well he had ordered them and left them on purpose, I smile.)

Me: “Well, when paint or stain is left over a day, we change the color so would-be thieves don’t come back the next day and try to get their paint for a fraction of the cost.”

(He sputtered at me angrily, and left in a huff with only two of the closest-matching colors he could find. The rest were bought throughout the day by other people.)

Lumbering Around And Around

| Vidalia, GA, USA | Extra Stupid, Home Improvement, Popular

(While working in the building materials end of a home improvement store, I have two customers back to back ask me probably the stupidest question I’ve ever been asked.)

Customer #1: “Excuse me, do you sell lumber?”

(I look around at all the plywood, two by fours, and trusses before looking back to him with a deadpan look.)

Me: “Nope.”

Customer #1: *nods* “Thanks, I wasn’t sure. Thanks for your help.”

(Not twenty minutes later, another customer comes in and looks me dead in the eye and says:)

Customer #2: “Where would your lumber be?”

(I point silently up at the sign above us that reads “Lumber.” The customer looks up, then back down at me, before looking up again. After a moment he starts to laugh.)

Customer #2: “My mistake.”

(Later when I’m checking him out, he adds:)

Customer #2: “You know… if it had been me, and someone asked me a dumb question like that, I’d have been sorely tempted to send them on a wild goose chase around the store before bringing them back here.”

Me: “I’ve tried that. It gets old after the fourth or fifth time.”

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