How To Troll(ey) Yourself

| Ireland | Bizarre, Popular

(I’m sitting at the customer service desk when I notice a lady dump a load of items on top of a load of display boxes. She disappears off into the shop again and after a few minutes comes up and dumps more stuff on the boxes. The next time she comes back I go over to her with a trolley.)

Me: “Hi there! Thought you could use a trolley!”

Lady: “Oh, thank you! That’s a big help.”

(The lady proceeds to put all her items into the trolley before wandering off into the shop for more things she needs, leaving her trolley full of shopping behind her. A few minutes later she comes back, this time struggling to carry three 10-litre buckets of paint. My manager comes out onto the floor and notices her.)

Manager: “You’ll put your back out carrying those! Let me get you a trolley.”

Lady: “Oh, I’m fine thanks. I already have one here.” *gesturing at the paint that she put on the trolley* “Man, I wish there was an easier way to carry these things about.”

(The lady walks off into the shop again. My manager turns around and looks at me confused.)

Me: “I don’t think she understands how trolleys work.”

Irrational Name Calling

| NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(I work at the customer service desk. The phone rings.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store] of [Town] customer service; how may I direct your call?”

Customer: *irate* “I have been waiting weeks for my order and I’ve heard nothing from you! This is unacceptable!”

Me: “I apologize for the inconvenience. Can I have your phone number to pull up your order?”

Customer: “Every time I call it’s the same thing. You people never actually do anything!”

Me: “Well, I apologize if you’ve had a bad experience but I know nothing about your order and unfortunately there’s nothing I can do to help you without pulling up your order to see what’s going on.”

Customer: “Who am I speaking with?”

Me: “Customer service.”

(I refuse to give out my name to irrational customers.)

Giving You His Two Cents… Twice

| USA | Home Improvement, Money

(I am working outside in the garden area. An older gentleman walks up to the counter.)

Me: “Hello! How are you today, sir? How may I help you?”

Customer: *a bit harshly* “I want two of those bags of cheap soil out there. They’re $1.57.”

Me: “The topsoil, sir? The white and brown one?”

Customer: *even more harsh* “Yes. I want two. They’re $1.57.”

Me: *cheerily* “Actually, sir, that sale is $1.55 a bag! You save four pennies!”

Customer: “No. I have purchased some before and they were ONE DOLLAR, FIFTY SEVEN CENTS.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Perhaps that was a different sale? Or perhaps you had been misinformed? You’ll be saving four pennies today…”

(He continued to argue while I gently kept trying to tell him that he was saving money. Eventually he threw his card at me, paid, and left. Perhaps I should have just let him overpay?)

An Attitude Trans-formation

| Bradenton, FL, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words, Popular

(The maintenance man is cleaning the restrooms. He places his cleaning cart in front of the women’s restroom with a sign attached, which reads: “Restroom closed for cleaning. Please use unisex restroom.” I am working at self-checkout, which is next to the restrooms.)

Customer: *to me* “So, I can’t use the bathroom?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. The unisex restroom is open.”

Customer: “What?! I’m not a unisex!”

Me: “Ma’am… the unisex restroom is just a one-person restroom that can be used by anyone.”

Customer: *yelling* “I am not a unisex! Why would you tell me to use a restroom for a unisex?! I will NOT use their restroom!” *stomps out of the store*

And The Gloves Come Off

| Ireland | At The Checkout, Money, Popular

(I’m on tills by myself and for the last 30 minutes I’ve been watching a lady trying on all our different work and garden gloves. I had tidied and re-priced that section only a few hours earlier; however, she has put nothing back in the right place and thrown gloves all around the rack as she takes them on and off. This lady is notorious for trying to get everything for well below the marked price. She finally walks up to the counter and throws down 2 pairs of heavy duty gardening gloves.)

Customer: “How much are these? There’s no prices down there for anything!”

Me: “Sure, they’re €5.99 and €11.99.”

Customer: “That can’t be right! Why are they more expensive?!”

Me: “The €5.99 ones are lightweight gloves. You’d use them for weeding or planting flowers. The €11.99 ones are much thicker gloves. They’re made for handling thorny plants.”

Customer: “Well, that’s the last pair down there. Surely you’ll knock a few euros off to get rid of them.”

Me: “We’re just low on stock. We’re getting more of them in next week.”

Customer: “Well, they were hanging on a peg that said €4.99 down there so you have to give me the gloves for that!”

Me: “Oh, so the section is priced?”

(The customer glared at me, before throwing €5.99 down on the counter and walking out in a huff with the cheap pair of gloves.)

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