Too Late For That Lightbulb Moment

| Canada | Right | November 5, 2015

(A customer comes to the returns desk and slams down a doorknob.)

Customer: *rudely* “I would like to return this light bulb.”

Me: *pause* “Do you have the light bulb or did you mean this doorknob here?”

Customer: *rolls her eyes and says* “I meant to say doorknob, obviously”.

(All I could think was “I hope you didn’t think this was a light bulb that didn’t work.” Either way, it made my day!)

Won’t Be Tricked Out Of His Treat

, | Chicago, IL, USA | Right | October 21, 2015

(I am shopping with my parents at a home improvement store during the Halloween season. There is a skeleton on display that has candy on it.)

Dad: *reaches for candy*

Mom: “Don’t take that! It’s for display!”

Dad: “It looks like samples to me.”

(We head to the cash registers to make a purchase. A woman who appears to be the manager is with the cashier.)

Dad: “Just curious, is the candy on the Halloween display free?”

Manager: “I would expect…”

Dad: *to Mom* “Ha! I told you!”

Mom: “You gonna go back and get some?”

Dad: “Nah.”

Manager: “I’ll go get you some.”

(The manager actually goes and gets us some candy.)

Dad: “Thank you!”

Giving Them A Shrinking Feeling

| Dallas, TX, USA | Working | October 20, 2015

(I am remodeling my home and have spent about $3000 at this particular big-box home improvement store. I go to buy some expensive electrical wire and some new saw blades, among other things. There is a sign over the blades that says, “Carbide Blades: Buy one, get one free,” so I decide to get two. As I’m being checked out, I see that the blades aren’t ringing up at the sale price.)

Me: “Excuse me, but those are supposed to be buy one, get one free.”

Young Associate: “Hmm, they’re not ringing up that way. Let me get a manager.”

(An older manager approaches.)

Manager: “These are ringing up properly.”

Me: “I’m sorry but they’re not. There was a sign over them that said carbide blades are buy one, get one free, and these are carbide blades.”

Manager: *clearly not believing me* “Oh, yeah? Let’s go look, then.”

(We walk over to the sign.)

Me: “You see? It says so right there.”

Manager: “Uh, well… the sale is only on the blades that are pictured on the sign.”

Me: “It doesn’t say that anywhere. It just says carbide blades.”

Manager: *raising his voice* “I don’t care what it doesn’t say. It’s only on those pictured blades!”

Me: “I’d like to speak to a store manager, please.”

(Ultimately, the store manager gives me the discounted price on the blades, and the manager completes my checkout, grumbling the whole time.)

Manager: “People like you are what causes shrinkage…”

Me: “Yeah, OK, whatever. Has nothing to do with your inaccurate signage or anything…”

(I leave the store. About halfway home, I start to think about the total price of my purchases, and how it seemed much lower than I expected. I check the receipt, and realize that my electrical wire isn’t on it. I return to the store with the wire, and the manager is still in the checkout area.)

Me: “Yeah, hi, remember me? I’m the one who causes shrinkage? You forgot to charge me for this $75 dollar wire.”

Manager: *gapes at me*

Me: “I’d like to pay for it now, please.”

(He didn’t say a thing through the transaction.)

1 Thumbs

Tomorrow Never Dies

| Ames, IA, USA | Working | October 2, 2015

(I notice the store is running low on the particular retaining wall stones we are using, partly because a couple of pallets are stacked with these stones and have ‘SOLD’ signs on them. I approach an employee.)

Me: “Can I buy these ones and come pick them up later?”

Employee: “Can’t you just take it all in one load?”

Me: “Yes, I am planning to come back for the rest later.”

Employee: “Well, can’t you just take it all now?”

Me: “That would seriously overload our trailer, so that won’t work. Anyway, you can just keep it and we’ll come back for it.”

Employee: “Well, when can you be back?”

Me: “I am not sure, but probably tomorrow.”

Employee: “Well, when you get home, call and let me know if you can come back later today.”

Me: “I was told it was fine to leave it here for a day or two and we have other plans for the afternoon.”

Employee: “But that’s a lot of work to leave it so long. You need to call me when you get home so I know if you are coming back today or not.”

Me: “No, I don’t think we can come back today, so just put it aside for tomorrow.”

Employee: “But when you get home I need you to call me to let me know if you can come back later.”

Me: “I am telling you now that we cannot come back until tomorrow!”

Employee: “But it is a lot of work to keep it for days.”

Me: “I see pallets all over with SOLD signs on them. How is that so much work?”

Employee: *rolling his eyes and acting exasperated* “FINE!” *talking to other employee* “Go get the paperwork!”

(The ‘paperwork’ was the size of a name badge and just required me to put my name and phone number on it, after which it was slapped on one of the stones in the stack. When we came back the next day, the pallet with our things had been stored outside of the fenced-in garden center area where anyone could have stolen the contents. All the other pallets I had seen with SOLD signs on them were stored inside the fence.)

H2-Slow, Part 9

| MI, USA | Right | September 12, 2015

(One early morning I answer the calls.)

Me: “This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I was wondering if you carried dehydrated water?”

Me: “I’m sorry, dehydrated water?”

Customer: “Yes, dehydrated water.”

Me: “Are you sure you don’t mean distilled water?”

Customer: *getting annoyed* “No, I definitely mean dehydrated water.”

Me: “Sir, to dehydrate something is to remove the moisture. If you remove moisture from water, you get air.”

Customer: “Oh, never mind!”


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