This Transaction Went Straight Down The Toilet

| CA, USA | Right | March 26, 2015

(A customer came into our store with a toilet that he had installed himself, and he wanted to return it. This toilet had been used and was disgusting. He had no receipt, and we couldn’t find the purchase on any of his credit cards.)

Customer: “I want you to return this NOW!”

Manager: “Sir, we can’t return a high price item without a receipt or the card used.”

Customer: “If you don’t return this one, I’m just going to take one off of the shelf!”

Manager: “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

(The customer proceeded to pick up the filthy toilet and throw it. It broke, and our associates ended up having to clean it up.)

Coming In For War Paint

| Bethesda, MD, USA | Right | March 24, 2015

(I’m a manager at a popular home supply store in the paint supplies department. I’m filling orders for paint, because the work is getting so backed up, when a clearly angry customer approaches the desk. One of the employees talks to the lady for a while before she starts screaming for a manager. The employee points in my direction and waves at me to come over. I drop what I’m doing and walk over.)

Customer: “HELLOOOOOO!”

Me: “Hello there! How can I help you?”

(She lifts a nearly empty can and slams it on the counter.)

Customer: “You dip-s***s sold me the wrong color! My living room is RUINED!”

Me: “Ma’am, I understand you are frustrated, but please refrain from using coarse language. What color were you trying to get?”

Customer: “A DIFFERENT ONE! YOU gave me a MUCH darker color than what’s on this swatch!”

Me: “Here, let me see what you have.”

(The customer hands me a paint swatch with a honey-color circled in marker. I look at the paint and it matches exactly.)

Me: “Is this the color that’s on your walls now?”

Customer: “YES! How many times do I have to say it?! It’s hideous and YOUR fault!”

Me: “By chance, did you try a sample of the paint first? To see what it looked like with the normal lighting in your room? The samples are quite inexpensive and allow you to try out a few different colors to make sure you like something before—”

Customer: “WHY would I spend money on a SAMPLE?! SAMPLES are FREE!”

Me: *glazing over* “This is paint we’re talking about. We give you enough to cover a small area. It’s not like the sample has noth—”

Customer: “You need to fix this mess you made NOW!! You ruined my living room! Now you’re going to fix it!”

Me: “We are not responsible for you not liking the paint you picked out. I CAN mix up some samples for you to take ho—”

Customer: “And YOU need to come to my house to paint my living room!”

Me: “That’s not going to happen.”

Customer: “And you’re going to do it for free to make up for the distress you’ve caused.”

Me: “That is DEFINITELY not going to happen.”

Customer: “And you’re going to refund me the price of the paint!”

Me: “That is also not happening.”

Customer: “AND I want a gift certificate to show me how sorry you are for the headache you’ve caused!”

Me: “In that case, that will definitely never happen.”

Customer: “Then give me my next room’s worth of paint for free!”

Me: “Absolutely not.”

Customer: *shrugs* “Oh well, it was worth a try.”

(She then turned around and left without her empty paint cans.)

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Spun Out A New Color

| Chandler, AZ, USA | Working | January 14, 2015

(I am a customer at this paint store waiting to have some paint mixed. Another customer enters the store and requests two cans of the color ‘spun sugar.’ The employee enters the product in his computer.)

Employee: “Sorry, sir, it doesn’t look like we carry that one.”

Customer: “Are you sure? I’m positive this is where we saw it.”

Employee: “Nope. I don’t see that in our system at all.”

Customer: “Let me check over on your sample wall.”

Employee: “I’ll be impressed if you can find it. If it’s on our wall but not in our system then something is wrong with my computer.”

(The customer comes back after about five minutes of searching.)

Customer: “Look, I found it! Spun Sugar!”

(The employee peers at the paint can and then chuckles in an embarrassed way.)

Employee: “That explains it! Here I just spent the last 10 minutes searching our system for ‘SPONGE Sugar.'”

More Sour Than Sweet

| Eugene, OR, USA | Right | December 30, 2014

Me: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “Do you carry sweet and sour sauce?”

Me: “I don’t think I have any left. Let’s go check the food section.”

(I check.)

Me: “No ,we don’t have any in.”

Customer: “Oh, this is actually a Christmas gift for her.” *points to someone who is in ear shot* “You have just ruined it for her!”

(I immediately have a bitchy inner monologue with myself, saying ‘I’m not a f****** mind reader; don’t take someone you are Christmas shopping for with you when you go!)

Customer: “Where can I go to get this sauce?”

Me: “The grocery store…” *walks away*

He Broke Christmas!

| Birmingham, England, UK | Working | December 26, 2014

(I am buying Christmas decorations in a furniture store. The checkout guy is in a hurry, scrabbling through the items on the conveyor, knocking them around.)

Me: “Careful! Those are glass baubles!”

Cashier: “Nah, they’re just plastic. See?”

(He ‘accidently’ knocks them on to the floor.)

Cashier: “Oh. I’ll just get someone to… err… fetch… another set.”

Me: “Yeah, you do that.”

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