Likes To Toy With Other People’s Purchases

| USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(My family is having a garage sale. I’m in my early teens, and I’ve decided to part with a collection of plastic horses. A very old woman hobbles around, looking at all of the toys, before stopping in front of my horses.)

Old Woman: “Oh, these are perfect! I’ve been looking for something for my granddaughter’s birthday, and I know she would love these! She’s always loved horses.”

Me: “I’m sure she will! How old is your granddaughter?”

(She and I chat for a little bit, and I like this grandmother more and more with everything she says. She’s clearly very sincere about wanting something special for her granddaughter. When she asks the price for the collection, I decide to sell them for less than I’d planned.)

Old Woman: “Thank you so much! I just need to run to my car to get my purse.”

(I wait by the horses while she hobbles back to her car. While she’s looking for her purse, a younger woman pulls up to the house, jumps out of her car, and starts snatching up armfuls of anything that looks like it’s in good condition. She comes up to the toy table and reaches for my horses.)

Me: “Oh, sorry, but someone already claimed these.”

Young Woman: “Well, I’m going to buy them.”

Me: “I’m selling them to that woman over there. She’s just getting her purse.”

(The woman looks around and sees the old woman coming back. She lowers her voice and acts all sneaky about it.)

Young Woman: “She hasn’t paid for them yet, so they’re still up for grabs! Quick! Give them to me!”

Me: “No. These are mine to sell and I’m giving them to her. Sorry. My sister has some other toys over there you can look at.”

Young Woman: *catching a glimpse of something she likes at my sister’s table* “Ugh. Fine. Your loss.” *she leaves and begins snatching up more things seemingly at random*

(I might not have made as much money as I could have, but seeing the older woman so happy with her gift for her granddaughter makes me smile even now years later.)


The Wrong Number For The Right Restaurant

| Jerusalem, Israel | Bizarre, Popular

(This story is remarkable not because of anybody’s behavior, but because of the enormity of the coincidence. I am at home, and the phone rings.)

Me: “Hello?”

Woman: “Hi, this is the German consulate. We’d like to make a reservation for 8:00 tonight.”

Me: “Um… I think you have the wrong number.”

Woman: “This isn’t [Restaurant]?”

Me: *surprised* “Well, I did propose to my wife at that restaurant, but other than that I have nothing to do with them!”


Might Need Some Hearing Aid Too

| Yorkton, SK, Canada | Health & Body, Popular

(This takes place in my house, which is not a business of any kind. I get a phone call about mid-afternoon.)

Caller: “Hi, is this [Optometrist]?”

Me: “No, you have the wrong number.”

Caller: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Pretty sure.”

Caller: “It’s not [Doctor]’s office?”

Me: “No, it’s my house. No doctors work here.”

Caller: “But I need to make an appointment.”

Me: “I can’t help you.”

Caller: “But I get my glasses with [Doctor]!”

Me: “But this isn’t a doctor’s office; it’s my house.”

Caller: “Can I make an appointment?”

Me: “No, it’s not an office. It’s my house. I’m not an optometrist.”

Caller: “Where are you?”

Me: “Yorkton?”

Caller: “But [Doctor] isn’t in Yorkton!”

Me: “Right, you called the wrong number.”

Caller: “But I called [Doctor]!”

Me: But this is my house. No optometrists work here. You called the wrong number.”

Caller: “I need new glasses!”

Me: “I can’t help you. Maybe double check the number?”

Caller: “You’re sure this isn’t [Doctor]?”

Me: “Pretty sure.”

Caller: “Well sorry for bothering you. I was sure I called [Doctor].”

Me: “No biggie.”


The Lights Are On But No One Is Home

| CO, USA | Extra Stupid, Popular

(We have moved to a much smaller place in another town, and have been selling off or giving away the furnishings and decorations that didn’t fit in the new place. Since it’s a bit of a drive I have been explaining the situation to potential buyers and arranging for them to meet me on weekends when I can be at the old house all day. If the following had only occurred once, I would have just brushed it off, but it happened THREE times with different people:)

Buyer: *calling/texting* “Where are you? I went by the house and no one was there.”

Me: “Well, I’ve been here all day. Did you ring the bell or knock? I didn’t hear it.”

Buyer: “No, I didn’t get out. I didn’t see a car in the driveway. Why weren’t you there?”

Me: “We have an empty three car garage. I parked in there to give people plenty of room to park and load their vehicles. Are you here now? Come on up to the front door.”

Buyer: “No, we left. We didn’t think anyone was home.”

Me: “Well, I’ll be here the rest of the day if you still want [item]. If you don’t believe I’m here, text me or try knocking BEFORE you leave again. We even have a doorbell you can use!”


Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 27

| Denmark | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work from home as a technical worker for a big firm. Employees can call me for ‘serious issues,’  but more often than not it’s trivial crap.)

Employee: “Hello. I’m having issues with my WiFi not connecting as it should.”

Me: “Okay, that could be several reasons that cause this. Maybe you could do a quick automatic check?”

(I walk her through how to troubleshoot on Windows.)

Employee: “Okay, that’s fixed it for now, but maybe you guys should actually use ‘wind-proof’ routers.”

(I stutter for a moment, not believing someone could be so stupid.)

Me: “What do you mean exactly? WiFi signals that aren’t affected by particles in the air?” *I chuckle slightly*

Employee: “Yes, they aren’t so hard to get. I think my WiFi keeps blowing out the windows and away from my PC.”

Me: “Uh huh… I’ll look into that. Goodbye.”

(I put the phone down, and put my head in my hands for a full 10 seconds before going back to the task at hand.)

Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 26
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 25
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 24

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