Unable To Provide Console-ing Advice, Part 2

, , , , | Right | December 26, 2020

On Boxing Day, I have the unfortunate task of opening the store with my associates. Usually, we are open at 8:00 am on weekdays, but as it’s Boxing Day, Sunday trading hours are implemented. Upon opening, I am approached with this situation.

Customer: “Thanks for ruining my son’s Christmas Day. Sort this f****** controller out now.”

He then just throws an Xbox One controller on the counter.

Me: “Sorry, sir, what seems to be the issue? I’m sorry if there is a fault with the controller; we can sort this out quick, no problem.”

Customer: “Yeah, you will sort it, else I’m going to kick right off!”

I’m a bit annoyed with his aggressive behaviour but tolerate it.

Me: “So, what is the actual problem?”

Customer: “It doesn’t bloody work! My lad has been waiting for ages to play on his new console and when he gets it, that thing you sold with it is crap and won’t work.” 

As I pick up the controller, I feel it’s rather lighter than usual.

Me: “Sir, did you put the batteries in the controller?”

Customer: “What? These things need batteries, too?”

Me: “Yes, they are included with the console you purchased.” 

I put some spare batteries we have into the controller and wow, it works!  

Me: “Just one of those things, sir. Have a good Boxing Day! I hope your son enjoys his new console.”  

Customer: “Well, I’ve had to come all the way in here to sort this; I want some form of credit for my time, now.”

Me: “Sorry, sir, as you’ve seen, the product is not faulty. I have sorted the issue and that is the best I can do.”

Customer: “You’re s***!”

He stormed out. That actually made my Christmas!

Related:
Unable To Provide Console-ing Advice

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Your Memories Are Slush

, , , , | Right | December 26, 2020

I am working a shift at the concessions stand, where we sell slushie drinks. As part of cinema regulations, we are not allowed to mix flavours, as the company makes money out of making people buy a sharers cup.

It’s the holiday season and a teenage girl walks up.

Girl: “I want a [slushie drink], and can you mix the flavours for me?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we can’t mix flavours. We can offer you the sharers cup if you like?”

The girl replies in a whiny voice.

Girl: “I came in yesterday and the guy did it for me!”

Me: *completely deadpan* “Yesterday was Christmas Day.”

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Please, Mum, Can I Have Some More?

, , , , , , | Related | December 26, 2020

My teenage son and I each have a holiday tin of popcorn, and I’m eating from mine.

Son: “Can I have some of your popcorn?”

Me: “No! We started with the same amount, and I’ve saved mine to enjoy longer while you already ate all of yours!”

Then, my son speaks in the voice of a beleaguered Victorian child.

Son: “But Mother, what of the spirit of Chismonukkah?!”

Of course, he got some of my popcorn after I stopped laughing.

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Secret Stingy Santa

, , , , , , | Related | December 25, 2020

We started doing a Secret Santa at my house a few Christmases ago with a $50-75 limit. My brother’s wife even made a Facebook event page where we could give ideas about what we wanted.

Come Christmas Day, my other brother spent a whole whopping $18 on a bottle of alcohol for my sister. 

To make things even worse, he got our dad and my mom nothing. 

He also had Christmas at his mom’s house, got her nothing, and b****ed because he didn’t get an expensive chainsaw and only got a $75 gift card that he left there out of spite.

Yeah, he’s got the Christmas spirit.

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Something To Celebrate

, , , | Right | December 25, 2020

The last day of Christmas is a public holiday here in Switzerland.

Caller: “I tried to contact you yesterday, but nobody answered the phone.”

Me: “Yesterday was the last day of Christmas, so the office was closed.”

Caller: “I don’t celebrate Christmas; you should respect that!”

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