It is the day before Mother’s Day. It’s an hour before closing. A guy comes rushing in.

Customer: “I want a Mother’s Day cake.”

Me: “We have this selection left for today. We can add some custom lettering on the top if you want to personalize it.”

Customer: *Looking at the four cakes we have left.* “This… is it?”

Me: “Well, as you can imagine, it’s been a busy day!”

Customer: “But they’re all so… small.”

Me: “Unfortunately, all of our bigger cakes were all sold this afternoon.”

Customer: “But I need a bigger cake for tomorrow! What time do you open tomorrow?”

Me: “We open at 8 AM tomorrow, but the larger cakes will be prepared around that same time, so we won’t have those on display until closer to 10 AM.”

Customer: “That’s too late! I’ll be on the road by then! I need one for when you open!”

Me: “That would be a custom cake order, then, and since it’s a last-minute rush, the price would be [price].”

Customer: “That’s outrageous! That’s double what these ones cost!”

Me: “Well, remember, that’s for a larger cake, and it’s for a custom order that the baking team would need to get right on as soon as they get in tomorrow at 5 AM.”

Customer: “You’re just charging me extra because I’m desperate!”

Me: “That’s how rush ordering works.”

Customer: “…”

Me: “Shall I put in the order?”

Customer: “F*** you and f*** your rush! Walmart is still open! They got cakes! You just lost a sale!” *Storms out.*

That’s one lucky mother…

I work in tech support for a medical organization that is patient-focused. It’s MLK Day, and the call center is closing early; our software has a notice that support will be closing at 5 PM in observance of MLK Day.

Caller: “I just find it ridiculous that you’re closing early! Where is my holiday to celebrate White people! Those people get all the attention nowadays!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. While you’re here, do you have any issues that need to be resolved?”

Caller: “NO!” *Click.*

I have a small retail business that’s strictly brick and mortar. Normally, our return policy is within twenty-one days for store credit. During the holidays, we extend it so that anything purchased between Black Friday and December 24th can be returned up until the end of January.

A few years ago, this guy came in around the end of April.

Customer: “I want to return these.”

Me: “Sir, these are Christmas items.”

Customer: “Unwanted Christmas items.”

Me: “It’s April.”

Customer: “That’s why they’re no longer wanted.”

Me: “Well… we don’t want them either.”

Customer: “But you have to take them back!”

Me: “Why?”

Customer: “Because I’m the customer and I have a receipt.”

Me: “You’re three months too late for that.”

Customer: “But I’m the customer!”

Me: “Thank you for your custom.”

Customer: “So what am I supposed to do with these things?!”

Me: “Hold on to them until next Christmas and try re-gifting them?”

Customer: “How does that benefit me?”

Me: “It… makes you feel good that they’re going to a place where they’re wanted?”

Customer: “I don’t want to feel good; I want to feel like I got my money back.”

Me: “Then sell them on eBay?”

Customer: “Who wants Christmas stuff in April?”

Me: “And we’re back to why we’re not accepting the return.”

Customer: “Ugh… f*** this! No one wants Christmas stuff anymore!” *Walks out defeated.*

I used to work at a card store. It’s ten minutes before closing on Valentine’s Day, and a guy rushes in and starts picking through our almost-gone holiday display.

Customer: *Pointing at the display, looking disgusted.* “This is it?!”

Me: “That’s what’s left of our Valentine’s display that’s been there for over a month, yes, sir.”

Customer: “Well… don’t you have any in the back?!”

Me: “Yes, we’re saving those for Labor Day!”

Customer: “…that doesn’t make any sense.”

Me: “Neither does expecting a card store to hold back Valentine’s Day cards at 9:30 PM on Valentine’s Day.”

Customer: “…ugh, f*** it! I’ll get this one.”

He grabs and pays for a generic Valentine’s card and makes one more dig:

Customer: “It’s crazy that you only have a few cards left!”

Me: “I know! Last year, the inventory peeps were given crap about having over a hundred cards left the day after Valentine’s that we had to discount the next day. They’ll be so pleased about how well they did this year!”

Not expecting me to spin his insult into a positive, he just scoffs and storms out with his cheap card. I feel sorry for whoever it’s intended for.

It’s my first month working in a cheap high street jewellery store. I’m noticing something different about the shoppers today:

Me: “Wait, it’s all men today!”

Coworker: “Well, duh! It’s Valentine’s Day.”

Me: “I know, I’ve been looking at the posters all month, but I’ve never seen the store full of just men before.”

Coworker: “Let me tell you something after working here for a few years. Valentine’s Day will always be one of the busiest days of the year, and it will always be just men. The day after Valentine’s Day will also be one of the busiest days of the year, and it will always be just women… with receipts for refunds or exchanges. Always…”

Lo and behold, within a day, my coworker’s prophecy rang true.