I Love You One Day A Year Because Corporate Says So

, , , , , , | Romantic | February 14, 2020

(My fiance and I go to the same college. We both live on campus, in the same building on separate floors. At the time of this story, we’ve been dating for three years, with our anniversary on February 9th. It’s right around Valentine’s Day, and one of his roommate’s girlfriends is in their room, waiting on her boyfriend before they go out. They’ve been dating for three months at this point.)

Roommate’s Girlfriend: “Do you have any plans to take [My Name] out for Valentine’s Day?”

Fiance: “Our anniversary is the ninth, so we usually just go out around then to celebrate, but [My Name] doesn’t really believe in Valentine’s Day.”

(This is true; I have no qualms with those who want to celebrate, but I’d rather not have a corporate holiday telling me when to celebrate the people I love. I’d rather do it on a random day than do it when society expects, but again, I don’t hold it against anyone who wants to celebrate and I’m happy for them if they do! He explains the above to her, but she’s proven in the three months they’ve been dating to not be the brightest bulb in the room. She takes the explanation in, sits for a moment, and then says:)

Roommate’s Girlfriend: “Oh, so you don’t love her?”

(He was not very happy. Neither was I, at first. After the anger waned, I felt a bit sad for her and people who believed the same. Valentine’s Day does not equal Love, and I hope we can teach our young folk that there’s more to love than being taken out on a holiday!)

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Dramas In Pajamas

, , , , , | Right | January 2, 2020

(I am on the tills. A woman comes to me and takes a two-pack of girls pyjamas out of a bag, with a receipt, and hands them to me.)

Customer: “I need to return these; I bought them for my granddaughter for Christmas and they were too small.”

Me: “The return period for Christmas gifts is now over, but I can either exchange them or give store credit at the current till price.”

Customer: “But I have my receipt, and I was told I could return them until the end of January.”

Me: “The last date for return on the receipt was the 25th of December, but we extended it to January 14th, which was posted around the shop, including where you queue and even on the till counters.”

Customer: “Well, I was ill when I bought them so I probably didn’t read them.”

Me: *internally* “And?” *out loud* “Well, they are coming up at £9.00, so as I said, it’s either an exchange or vouchers at till value.”

Customer: “But I paid more than that and I have my receipt.”

(She paid £10.50. Mentally banging my head on the counter, I explain again.)

Customer: “No, I am going to look into this. I have my receipt and they are too small, so you have to refund them. I know my rights.”

Me: “Actually, returning something because it is too small is not included in your statutory rights.”

(She just huffed and grabbed the pyjamas and receipt before stropping off. Just to make clear, I don’t get rude or stroppy with customers; I stay polite, which I think annoys them as they can’t complain I have been rude or stroppy to them. I was being nice. I could have actually refused to return them as she had had them so long over our return policy. And all over £1.50…)

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So Drunk That The Alphabet Changed

, , , , , , | Related | January 1, 2020

(It’s New Year’s morning, a little after five in the morning. My cousin, her fiancé, a friend from our gaming group, his sleeping wife, and I are in a room. His wife starts snoring lightly and he goes to roll her over.)

Me: “Ah, just let her be.”

Cousin: *drunk* “Letter B! Letter B! Third letter of the alphabet!”

Me: “Third?”

Cousin: “Second! Close enough!”

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The Year Ended With A Karmic Bang

, , , , , , | Legal | December 31, 2019

I am working at the main railway station in Helsinki during New Year’s night when I spot two teenagers lighting up firecrackers and throwing them onto the street where people are walking. I approach them and sternly tell them to stop as they could hurt someone.

While I approach, they are still lighting one up. They throw it without looking, and where else would it land but next to a police car that has just arrived on patrol?

I leave the kids to discuss their actions with the police.

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Technically, That Could Be A Resolution

, , , , , , | Working | December 31, 2019

(A couple of coworkers and I are talking before we clock in this morning. We’re all kind of punchy from the early hour.)

Coworker #1: “Any plans for tonight?”

Me: “No, I work tomorrow morning. Collecting all that time and a half, you know.”

Coworker #2: “I’ve got to start working on my New Year’s revolution.”

Me: “Your what now?!”

Coworker #1: “Do you mean resolution?” *snickers*

Coworker #2: “What did I say?”

Me: “New Year’s revolution.” *giggling* “I honestly like that better than resolution.”

(We were laughing for a good five minutes as we made our way up the elevator. And we’ve been yelling, “VIVA LA REVOLUTION!” when we see each other through the day.)

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