I work in a large craft store that sells a lot of seasonal items around holidays.

It’s the day after a July 4^th long weekend, and all the associated décor is 90% off. About five carts of the stuff are pushed to the front by a couple of customers.

Customer: “We’re buying all of these, but we’re getting more. Can we hold these here?”

Me: “That’s fine.”

The couple goes back into the aisles to get more stuff. Another customer comes through my lane with their cart, also filled with a lot of July 4^th stuff. She notices the other carts.

Other Customer: “Oh, so this is where you’re keeping the sale stuff. Can I look through these?”

Me: “No, ma’am, these are for another customer. They’re just leaving them here while they get some more items.”

I’m not kidding, this woman literally stomped her foot.

Other Customer: “ALL OF THEM?! THAT’S JUST NOT FAIR! DO YOU THINK THAT IS FAIR?!”

Me: “If a customer has taken an item off the shelf, then it’s theirs.”

Other Customer: “But they haven’t paid for it yet!”

Me: “Yes, but they intend to.”

Other Customer: “Well, if they haven’t paid for it yet, then it’s fair game!”

This customer starts walking over to the carts.

Me: “Ma’am, please don’t go through those carts. They don’t belong to you.”

Other Customer: “They belong to no one until they’re paid for!”

Me: “No, they belong to the store until they’re paid for, and as a worker at this store, I am telling you not to touch those carts.”

Other Customer: “Hmph, you don’t have the power to do that.”

Before I can reply, the original customers come back with one more cart. They see the other customer beginning to go through their things.

Customer: “Uh… what are you doing?”

Other Customer: “It’s not fair that you get to take all these deals home! They’re not yours until they’re paid for!”

Me: “Ma’am, I will ask this one more time. Please come and pay for your items and leave.”

Customer: “Those are her unpaid items? Cool, I’ll have a browse of what’s in there to see if I missed anything.”

The original customer starts walking toward me. The other customer, realizing what’s happening, darts back to me and practically throws herself over her cart.

Other Customer: “No! These are mine!”

Customer: “They’re not yours until they’re paid for, right?”

Other Customer: *Realizing she’s been caught in her own trap.* “F*** you! It’s not fair that you get to buy so many of the deals! It’s not fair!”

Me: “Ma’am, I am giving you a choice of buying the items in this cart and leaving, or just straight up leaving. What’s it gonna be?”

Other Customer: “Fine! I’ll buy my things, but it isn’t fair! It isn’t!”

She’s muttering about fairness the entire time it takes me to scan and bag her twenty-or-so items. After she’s done, the couple is finally ready for me to start checking out their five carts of items.

Other Customer: *Turning to shout at the three of us as she’s leaving.* “This is unfair! People shouldn’t be able to just take as much as they want whenever they want it!”

Customer: “That’s the history of America. Happy July 4^th, ma’am!”

It’s the Fourth of July. I work at a hardware store and for reasons that I can only assume are ‘CAPITALISM!’, we’re open.

Customer: “Where’s your fireworks?”

Me: “We don’t sell fireworks, sir.” 

Customer: “You sold them last year.”

Me: “We’ve never sold fireworks.” 

Customer: “I definitely bought fireworks here.”

Me: “We have not, to my knowledge, ever sold fireworks.”

Customer: “Maybe it was a different store.”

Me: “That would be my guess, yes.” 

Customer: “Do you know who does sell them?” 

Me: “There’s a tent about a mile down on [Route Number].”

Customer: “Are they good ones?” 

Me: “I genuinely have no idea.”

Customer: “You sure you don’t sell any fireworks?”

Me: “Sir, we’re a hardware store. If we sold anything that exploded, we’d be in big trouble.”

It’s the Fourth of July. I’m working at a register at a grocery store.

Customer: “This potato salad is full price.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Customer: “It’s the Fourth of July.”

Me: “It is!”

Customer: “So where’s the discount?”

Me: “We don’t have a Fourth of July discount on potato salad, I’m afraid.”

Customer: “It’s a holiday.”

Me: “We have a sale on hot dogs if that helps?”

Customer: “I don’t want hot dogs; I want potato salad. And I want the holiday price.”

Me: “We don’t really have a holiday price for—”

Customer: “Christmas stuff goes on sale at Christmas.”

Me: “That’s… after Christmas, and it’s because they’re trying to clear the stock—”

Customer: “So you’re telling me that on the birthday of the greatest country on earth, you are charging full price for potato salad.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, that’s correct.”

Customer: “I want to speak to your manager.”

I called my manager over and explained the situation. He listened very carefully, nodded, then turned to her.

Manager: “Ma’am, the Declaration of Independence doesn’t guarantee life, liberty, and the pursuit of discount potato salad. It’s full price today.”

She bought the potato salad. She should have been grateful we were open today to begin with!

It’s July 4^th, and the whole family has gathered at our place, since my parents have the biggest house with the biggest yard, my dad loves to BBQ, and we live pretty much in the middle of all of the relatives.

Uncle: “Hey, [My Dad’s Name], I heard you’re not shooting off any fireworks tonight?”

My Dad: “No, the city is putting on a big show at the lake tonight, so we’re all driving there later to go see it. I did say that on the invite.”

Uncle: “But I’ve been drinking, and I want to drink some more. I can’t drive there. I want to stay here.”

My Dad: “Maybe stay here then. Grandma is staying here with her carer and some friends.”

Uncle: “I don’t wanna stay behind with Grandma! I wanna drink and watch some fireworks!”

My Dad: “Then maybe [His Wife] can drive?”

Uncle: “She’s been drinking too!”

My Dad: “Well, our car is full, sorry.”

Uncle: “Can’t we light some fireworks here?”

My Dad: “We don’t have any.”

I am of the age where I have my learner’s permit. My uncle sees me and knows this.

Uncle: “[My Name]! Get in your dad’s car with me and let’s drive to the local store. We can get some fireworks and shoot them off from here tonight.”

Me: “No thanks, [Uncle]. I’d rather stay here and just hang out and watch the fireworks later.”

Uncle: “But I wanna stay here and drink!”

My Dad: “[Uncle], how is it that you’re responsible enough to know that you shouldn’t drink and drive, but not drink and set off fireworks?”

Uncle: “Duh! You can get a DUI for one, but not the other!”

That settled that! No fireworks for uncle!

Our normal trash collection is on Friday unless a holiday falls on it which case it is picked up on Wednesday of that week. A lot of people forget this, so the city tries to send out as many reminders as they can. Since it’s a week where Friday is the 4th of July, I am taking the trash cans to the curb on Tuesday night. Our neighbors are outside at the time.

Neighbor: “Isn’t it a little early to be taking the trash out? You guys going on vacation or something?”

Me: “Pick up’s tomorrow since Friday is the 4th.”

Neighbor: “No, it’s not.”

Me: “Uh, it is. Friday is July 4th.”

Neighbor: “But pick up stays the same.”

Me: “They posted something on the city’s Facebook page reminding everyone whose trash is normal on Friday that it’s Wednesday this week.”

Neighbor: “Pretty sure you’re wrong.”

Me: “Well, if you’re right, then all I did was put my trash out two days too early, and it’ll be picked up on Friday… But, if I’m right and it does get picked up tomorrow and you don’t put your trash out, yours won’t get picked up again until next Friday.”

He doesn’t say anything, and I go back inside.

I did notice later when everyone else put their cans to the curb, he did too.

Trash did indeed get collected the following day.