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Takes One To Call One

, , , | Right | December 21, 2011

(I am taking calls on Thanksgiving day.)

Customer: “Wow! A real person!”

Me: “Yes, sir! We’re staffed 24/7/365!”

Customer: “They make you guys work holidays. That’s terrible! Why would they do that?”

Me: *smiling to myself* “In case someone calls in for help.”

Customer: “What kind of work-a-holic would call in on a holiday?”


This story is part of our Thanksgiving roundup!

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Not Quite A Dream Job

, , , , , , | Romantic | December 8, 2011

(It is Sunday morning, after Black Friday. I have been working retail all weekend and I am worn out to the max.)

Me: “I had some crazy dreams.”

Boyfriend: “Apparently, you were checking people out.”

Me: “What?!”

Boyfriend: “You woke me up, and said, ‘Your total is $34.98. Do you have any coupons?'”

Me: “Oh, my God, no way!”

Boyfriend: “I shook you so you’d wake up a little and dream about something else. I just knew I couldn’t let you dream that.”


This story is part of our Black Friday roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

14 Times Employees Had To Fight For Their Lunch Break

 

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Read the Black Friday roundup!

Don’t Tell The Methodists

, , , , , | Right | December 6, 2011

Customer: “I’d like 50 Christmas stamps, please.”

Me: “What denomination?”

Customer: *befuddled* “Oh, my, has it come to this? Um, give me 22 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 6 of the Baptists.”

Numbers Don’t Lie

, , , , , , , | Right | November 29, 2011

(I’m a checkout assistant at a supermarket, working the night of Halloween. A teenager and his girlfriend come to the checkout at about eight pm with three dozen eggs.)

Me: “You’re not the ones who have been egging people in the carpark, are you?”

Customer: “Uh, no. We, um, just want to make an omelette.”

Me: “You’re making a thirty-six egg omelette? How big is your frying pan?”

Customer: “S***.” *runs out of the store*


This story is part of our Customers Caught Lying roundup!

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I Can Be Anything I Want

, , , , , , | Right | November 27, 2011

Customer: “Do you sell stripper costumes?”

Me: “Sorry?”

Customer: “Stripper or hooker, whatever. I need it for a Halloween costume party.”

(I assume she’s dressing up herself in a party for adults.)

Me: “Why don’t you just go to a lingerie store? Or perhaps an adult store?”

Customer: “Well, they won’t be selling sizes that fit my kid. She’s six.”


This story is part of our Terrible Parents roundup!

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