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The Twelve (Billion) Days Of Christmas

, , , | Right | May 6, 2010

(This takes place on Christmas Eve.)

Customer: “What’s this about you guys closing tomorrow?”

Me: “Yes, we are closed for Christmas day so we can have time with our families.”

Customer: “But if you’re closed, then what am I supposed to feed my family with!? You guys are supposed to be open all the time!”

Me: “But what about our families? Can’t we spend time with them?”

Customer: “No, because you’re supposed to be here working and serving us food!”


This story is part of the Christmas Eve roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

18 Chill-Inducing Stories About Freezing Weather And Those Who Can’t Handle It (And A Few Who Can)

 

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Santa Baby

, , , , | Right | March 30, 2010

(I am a supervisor in a daycare. It is Christmas Eve and a child’s mother has arrived to pick him up.)

Mother: “So, is it okay if I send in his presents with him tomorrow so he can open them here?”

Me: “Tomorrow? It’s Christmas Day tomorrow… We’ll be closed.”

Mother: “What? You’re closed tomorrow? But what am I supposed to do with my kid?”

Me: “Oh, do you have to work tomorrow? That’s unfortunate.”

Mother: “Work tomorrow? No, I booked it off a long time ago. Why are you closed tomorrow? You’re always open!”

Me: “Christmas Day is the only day we’re closed all year.”

Mother: “Well, I don’t want him under my feet on Christmas!”

Me: “Um…”

Mother: “You don’t want to babysit, do you?”


This story is part of the Christmas Eve roundup!

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Talking Turkey

, , , , | Right | March 17, 2010

(A customer rings the store on Christmas Eve to speak to the meat manager.)

Caller: “I’ve bought this turkey from you and there’s no meat on the breast. How am I supposed to feed everyone tomorrow?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, can I just ask you to check you haven’t put the bird in the oven upside down?”

Caller: “I know how to roast a bloody turkey!”

*sound of footsteps*

*sound of oven door opening*

*sound of oven door closing*

*sound of footsteps*

*sound of phone hanging up*


This story is part of the Christmas Eve roundup!

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What’s In A Name

, , , , | Right | March 8, 2010

Customer: “Excuse me, do you sell Christmas trees?”

Me: “Yes, we do, in the Garden Center.”

Customer: “Thanks…”

(A few minutes later, the customer returns.)

Customer: “I can’t seem to find them.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll show you where they are.”

(I lead her to the Garden Center and point out the section dedicated to the trees.)

Me: “They’re right there, ma’am.”

Customer: “No, you’re wrong. Those are evergreens! I want a Christmas tree!”

Me: “Ma’am, evergreens are Christmas trees.”

Customer: “No, they’re different! I want a Christmas tree, not some stupid evergreen!”

Me: “Ma’am, they are the same.”

Customer: “No, they are not! Christmas trees stay green all year round, and evergreens lose their leaves!”


This story is part of the Christmas Day roundup!

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The Devil Is In The Pre-Sales

, , , , , , , | Right | January 25, 2010

(I’m working at the hotel on Christmas Day.)

Customer: *to husband* “See that girl there? She must be one of those devil worshipers! Why else would she be here on the day of Christ’s birth?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Who do you worship? Why are you working on Christmas? You worship the devil!”

Me: “Actually, I’m working because I don’t have any children. A lot of the other employees do so they’re home with their families.”

Customer: “Who do you worship?”

Me: “I’m a Christian.”

Customer: “DO NOT LIE! GOD WILL STRIKE YOU! GOD KNOWS ALL!”

Husband: *laughing* “Yes, just like Santa. He sees you when you’re sleeping and knows when you’re awake.”

Customer: “Santa has NOTHING to do with Christ. You’ll offend them both!”