Their Knowledge Is A Bit Patchy

, , , , , | Right | November 7, 2018

(I am selling a customer nicotine patches to help them quit smoking.)

Customer: “So, can I still smoke when I’m wearing the patches? Someone said I can.”

Me: *head-desks internally*

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You’re Boxing Me In Here

, , , , , | Healthy | June 27, 2018

(At my pharmacy, we commonly take orders by phone so that a customer’s medications can be ready to collect when they arrive. This phone order, however, is a little different.)

Me: “Good afternoon. This is [Pharmacy]. [My Name] speaking. How can I help?”

Customer: “Yes, I’d like to order some medications, please.”

Me: “Sure. What do you need?”

Customer: “I can’t remember what they’re called, sorry.”

Me: “That’s okay. We can figure it out. Do you remember what they’re for?”

Customer: “No, sorry. But they come in a box…”

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Name Change Approved

, , , , , | Healthy | May 4, 2018

(A customer is picking up a regular prescription medication but he also wants something else.)

Customer: “Can I also have some ‘Stuffy Nose Squirts’?”

(He wanted a decongestant nasal spray.)

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Stop And Think For A Period

, , , | Healthy | February 5, 2018

(In Australia, purchasing certain medications requires the cashier, by law, to ascertain for whom the medication is intended and whether or not they’ve used the medication before. It’s about half an hour before closing time and it’s been a busy day, so I’m running on autopilot, when a man comes up to the counter.)

Male Customer: “Can I have some [period pain medication], please?”

Me: “Sure. That’s just for yourself, and you’ve used it before?”

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A Slight Wrinkle In The Definition

, , , , , , | Learning | September 29, 2017

(I’m talking to some of my students in a tutorial. The conversation goes from the topic of the course, Markov chains, to population genetics, an application of Markov chains, to experimental testing of population genetics, to a rather neat result where colonies of bacteria oscillate between being free-living and forming colony mats on the top of the nutrient solution. These colony mats are known as “wrinkly spreaders”.)

Me: “If you want to learn more about this, do a web search on ‘wrinkly spreader.’”

Student: *with disgust* “I am not Googling ‘wrinkly spreader’!”

Me: “Um, that interpretation had not occurred to me.”

(The student need not have worried; I’ve just tried the web search, and gerontological p*rn was completely absent.)

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