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Remembering Nothing About Remembering The Alamo

, , , , , , | Right | September 22, 2023

I am a third-party tour guide, and I am showing some tourists visiting from the Midwest around The Alamo, the famous historical building in Texas. I am explaining the history of the building and the famous “Battle Of The Alamo” to the tourists.

Me: “So, after the thirteen-day siege, the Texans fell to the Mexican Republic—”

Tourist: “Wait… we lost?”

Me: “Uh… yes.”

Tourist: “That’s not how I remember it.”

I go on to explain in more detail what happened and how it was a turning point in the Mexican-American War. The tourist looks angry but is listening quietly.

Tourist: “Well… The Alamo is in America now, so… I guess we won in the end!”

The Tick-Tock-ing Of Generations Continues

, , , , | Right | September 13, 2023

A couple of younger teenagers come into my store looking for some help.

Teenager #1: “Hi. My mom bought me my phone from you guys, and it’s supposed to have a free subscription to [Music Streaming Company], but I can’t get it set up.”

Me: “Let me see your phone and I’ll see if I can help.”

I look at the phone and think I have solved the problem. To test it out, I go to one of my favorite songs that I use for this purpose, “Born To Be Wild” by Steppenwolf.

Teenager #2: “Oh, hey! How come you know that song?”

Me: “Ha, yeah, I know it’s a little old, but—”

Teenager #2: “Old? No, it’s on TikTok!”

Teenager #1: “Yeah, you’re too old to know that song.”

Me: “Ladies, this song was twenty years old already when I was born.”

Their faces were the image of shock, betrayal, mind-expanding… and a little bit of disgust.

No Jokes Here. That’s Just Awful.

, , , , , , , , | Working | August 31, 2023

CONTENT WARNING: Antisemitism

 

About twenty years ago, I was working at a bookstore. I was organizing books in the children’s section when an older man approached. I don’t remember if there was any kind of endcap or display that might have prompted this comment, but I do know it was the first thing he said to me.

Customer: “You know, the Holocaust was actually good for the Jews.”

Me: *In complete shock* “What?”

Customer: “Yeah. Before that, everyone hated them, but there was so much sympathy cause of the camps, so they’re doing much better now.”

Me: “I don’t think the Jewish people see it that way.”

Customer: “They should. It’s much better for them now. They should thank Hitler.”

Me: “I… need to get some stock from the back.”

Mostly, I just wanted to get away from him, but I saw the store manager in the back, so I told her what he’d said.

Manager: “As long as he isn’t bothering any customers, he’s fine.”

I was still pretty young and inexperienced at the time, so I didn’t do anything else, but I think about that encounter all the time, especially as more and more antisemitism shows up in the news and across social media.

She Wishes To Amend Her Statement

, , , , , , , | Right | August 23, 2023

I am working as a cashier in a tiny convenience store. A small TV is playing above me showing the news, specifically about a former US president pleading not guilty to indictment charges. One of the guys who delivers soda cans to the store is chatting with me since it’s quiet.

Delivery Guy: “Huh, I wonder if he can still run for president if he’s charged with a felony?”

Me: “Actually, he can. Actually, technically, he could still run for president even if he was in prison. There’s nothing in the Constitution to stop it if it were to happen.”

I’m currently a history major, so this topic came up recently and I am happy to discuss it.

Delivery Guy: “Huh… I wonder if they’ll ever propose a change to the Constitution if that happens?”

Suddenly, a customer who was browsing near us swings to face us, her face a scrunched-up face of anger and bitterness.

Customer: “That’s unconstitutional! We’ll never vote for any changes to the Constitution! It was perfect the day it was written!”

Me: “Ma’am, are you a woman?”

Customer: “Of course!”

Me: “Did… did no one tell you about the nineteenth amendment? The one that allowed women the right to vote?”

Customer: “Stop trying to confuse me with your propaganda!”

Me: “By ‘propaganda’ you mean ‘history’?”

The customer huffs and storms out. Another customer comes up in her wake.

Next Customer: “She knows what an amendment is, right?”

Delivery Guy: “Honestly, I don’t think she even knows what the Constitution is.”

Ah, Boys…

, , , , , , , | Related | August 15, 2023

I am visiting an old medieval castle on vacation. I have reached the torture chamber part of the tour. The room contains mock-ups of medieval torture devices, including a stretching rack.

An American father and his son (six years old at the oldest, based on the ticket he’s carrying) are looking at the rack.

Father: “Do you know what this is?”

The kid nods.

Father: “This is a stretching rack. They’d tie people to the chains and then stretch them using that pulley over there.”

Kid: “How did they stretch the chains?”

Father: “They didn’t stretch the chains. They stretched the body.”

Kid: “Oh…” *Eyes go wide in realization* “…oh!

He then smiles mischievously in the way only six-year-old boys can.

Kid: “That’s so coooool!

He furiously looks around the room and spots the super-spiky iron maiden.

Kid: “Dad! Daaaad! Tell me about this one!”