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Most Concierges Get A Call For A Different Kind Of Taxi Driver

, , , , , | Right | July 20, 2020

This is in the early 2000s, so none of us have smartphones, and while we all have Internet on our computers at school, nobody brought a computer with them. We are in a hotel for a school event. It is well after lights outs and my roommates and I are “sleeping”. So, our conversation is odd, and what follows makes perfect sense at the time.

Roommate #1: “It’s like that guy that tried to kill Reagan to impress the actress from Taxi Driver.”

Roommate #2: “Yeah, exactly! Just like… s***, what’s that guy’s name?”

Roommate #3: “Jodie Foster?”

Me: “No, that’s the actress. The guy was… f***, I can’t remember, either.”

Roommate #1: “It’s gonna bug me until we remember.”

Roommate #2: “Oh, I know!”

[Roommate #2] grabs the room phone.

Roommate #2: “Hello. I know this isn’t in your job description, but can you tell us the name of the guy that tried to kill Reagan?” *Pauses* “John Hinkley. Thank you so much.”

Roommate #3: “Who did you call?”

Roommate #2: “The concierge.”

Telling this story to the rest of the group started a new tradition of trying to find a question that would stump the concierge at any hotel we stayed at. We’d always leave a tip for the night shift concierge when we checked out.


This story is part of our July 2020 Roundup – the best stories of the month!

Read the next July 2020 Roundup story!

Read the July 2020 Roundup!

They Didn’t Die For Your Right To Demand A Burger

, , , , , | Right | July 19, 2020

I worked at a fast food place as a teenager. I was working on Remembrance Sunday, and at 11:00 am, we held a two-minute silence to remember those who fought in the wars. There were signs up in the restaurant to tell customers that this would be happening, and most customers were joining in with the silence.

But there was one gentleman who so desperately wanted his burger that he banged his fist on the counter, demanded to know why I wouldn’t serve him, and began to swear. I quietly told him about the silence and that I would be with him as soon as it was over. Well, that wasn’t good enough; he continued to swear, stomp his feet, and sigh loudly until he decided less than one minute remaining was too long to wait and stormed out. 

Such a nice bloke.

Dropping A Conversational Bomb

, , , , , , | Right | July 6, 2020

This story happens in the early 2000s. I am backpacking through Germany, and I have a few days in Berlin before I move on. I decide to take a bus tour of the city, having never been there before.

On the bus tour, the tour guide is a man who appears to be in his twenties or early thirties. Most of the bus is filled with a group of elderly British men and women. The bus pulls away from the curb, the tour guide introduces himself, and then he asks if anyone has been to Berlin before. 

All of the British men raise their hands.

Guide: “Wow, this is more than usual. When were you all here?”

The British men mumble among themselves for a few seconds.

British Man #1: “Well, if it’s all right with you… we would rather not go into detail.”

Guide: “Oh, come on. Please, share your experiences.”

British Man #2: “If you insist. We were all in the Royal Air Force Bomber Command during the Second World War. We flew bombing raids over Berlin, and other cities, of course.”

British Man #3: “We’ve all seen documentaries about old soldiers who travel to their battlefields one last time, so… here we are.”

The tour guide is at first caught off guard by this response, but he recovers brilliantly.

Guide: “Then I believe we have you, gentlemen, to thank for Berlin being such a unique mix of the ancient and the modern! I do hope you enjoy seeing the city from the ground this time!”

Best bus tour ever. Every time the tour guide pointed out a historic building or landmark, the British gentlemen would share stories about the times they used those buildings as guides and targets for their bombing runs. The tour guide genuinely enjoyed having someone who could share so much insight into what was already a key piece of his lectures, and hearing so many different perspectives and stories made the tour well worth it for the rest of us, as well. I’m pretty sure the tour guide earned at least ten times his normal tips for that tour.


This story is part of our July 2020 Roundup – the best stories of the month!

Read the next July 2020 Roundup story!

Read the July 2020 Roundup!

The Last 500 Years Just Flew By!

, , , , | Right | June 26, 2020

I work at a museum hosting an exhibit about Leonardo Da Vinci.

Guest: *To my coworker* “Leo Da Vinci, huh? That guy still around?”

Coworker: “I don’t think so.”

Not Quite A Light-Bulb Moment

, , , , , | Right | May 27, 2020

I work in a historic home that was built in the 1770s. I was giving a family a tour of the home and we started in the passage (entry hall). I was describing to them what furnishings would have been in the room. I then pointed to the hanging lamp above their heads that has lights that look like candles; we are not allowed to use real candles for obvious reasons.

The father, a teacher, looked at me and said, “So, they had electricity.” I was waiting for him to laugh or say he was joking, but no, he was quite serious. So, I had to reply to him politely and without making him feel stupid. I simply replied, “No, electricity came a bit later.”

I then pointed out the lamp and told visitors that it would have been candles and not electric lights.