(I work as an artifacts specialist at an exhibit featuring artifacts from the Titanic wreck. We also have a large “iceberg” to show people how cold the water was the night the ship sank.)

Customer: “Is this the actual iceberg that sank the Titanic?”

Me: “No, it’s just a frosted piece of plastic to show how cold the water was.”

Customer: “So where in this place is the actual iceberg that sunk the Titanic?”

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15 Hilarious Stories About Customers Demanding The Impossible

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(I give tours for prospective students and their families at my school. In the school chapel, there is a plaque commemorating when Martin Luther King, Jr., gave a speech there in the 1950s.)

Me: “The chapel has been host to a number of famous speakers, including Martin Luther King, Jr., as you can see here.”

Parent: “Oh, was that before or after he was assassinated?”

Me: “Uh…”

Daughter: “Mom!”

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Me: “Hi, this is [Tech Center]. I’m [My Name] from Vermont. How may I help you?”

Customer: “What’s Vermont? Is it a state?”

Me: “Yes. It’s in New England.”

Customer: “No, it’s not. You’re lying!”

Me: “No, miss. It was the 14th state to join the Union. It is definitely a state in New England.”

Customer: “New England, you say? Well, then, why don’t you have a British accent?”

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Customer: “Excuse me, but are all of these things real?”

Me: “Sorry, are you talking about the artifacts on my cart? Some of these are replicas, because the real things are too breakable to touch.”

Customer: “No, I mean the exhibit.” *points to the dinosaur exhibit*

Me: “Dinosaurs did exist millions of years ago beginning in the Triassic Period, but about 65 million years ago the dinosaurs went extinct.”

Customer: “Are you sure? I thought the museum was making it up to attract visitors.”

Customer: “I want a book to complete the set for my grandson.”

Me: “Certainly, madam. Can I ask what you’re looking for?”

Customer: “Well, he’s interested in history. I want to encourage him, so he’s already got books on World War 1 and World War 2. I want to get him the next one so he can be prepared before they do it at school.”

Me: “Um, the next one?”

Customer: “Yes. Haven’t you got anything on World War 3? I’ve looked all over.”

Me: “I’m sorry, madam. I’m pretty certain we don’t have anything on that subject at the moment.”

Customer: “Oh, never mind, then. I’ll try a bigger bookshop.”

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