Either She’s A Revisionist Scholar, Or She Needs A Dictionary

, , | Right | March 5, 2009

Me: “Ma’am, may I help you find a particular title?”

Customer: “I don’t know exactly what I want. I just want a good book to read.”

Me: “Is there a topic that you are especially interested in?”

Customer: “I like historical stuff.”

Me: “Great! What kind of history specifically?”

Customer: *stares blankly*

Me: “For instance, a particular time period, or the history of a certain country?”

Customer: “American history, obviously.”

Me: “We have some really great American history books, right over here.”

(I lead her to the proper section and pull a few titles to show her.)

Customer: “These are all about stuff that really happened. I want a story.”

Me: “Okay, so, historical fiction then? I’m sure we can find something for you.”

Customer: “No! I want something like this…”

(She gestures to a book she rejected, a non-fiction title about American history.)

Customer: “…only I want it to be made up.”

Me: “Right, historical fiction. Let’s start with a time frame within American history and I’m sure we can find something.”

Customer: *sighs melodramatically* “I don’t want FICTION, I want a book with a story that is MADE UP!”

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That’s One Small Kneeprint For Man

, , , | Right | February 24, 2009

(I was in a record store and I overheard this conversation.)

Customer: “Hi, I’m looking for a gift for my dad. He likes jazz; who do you recommend?”

Clerk: “Well, Louis Armstrong is pretty popular.”

Customer: “Louis Armstrong? Isn’t he the astronaut? He’s like the first guy to walk on the moon.”

Clerk: “No, no, you’re thinking Neil.”

Customer: “Fine, whatever, the first guy to kneel on the moon.”

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It Was Either That Or Get Shocked By The Kite Again

, , | Right | December 15, 2008

Customer: “I need a biography of Benjamin Franklin.”

Me: *I take him to the history section* “Here’s his autobiography.”

Customer: “That means he wrote it himself, right?”

Me: “Yes, that’s correct.”

Customer: *eyes widening* “They could do that back then?”

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Natural Selection In Action, Part 3

, , , | Right | September 11, 2008

(I work at a historic fort and am dressed as soldier from the 1800s. I help tourists find their way around.)

Tourist: “Oooh, is that a real gun?”

Me: “Yes, it is; it was made in 1865.”

Tourist: “Oooh, does it still work?”

Me: “Yes, it does!”

Tourist: “Can I get a picture of you pointing it at me?”

 

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Che Guevara, Rapping Revolutionary

, , | Friendly Right | August 27, 2008

(I overheard this in a comic book store in a trendy area of town.)

Teenager #1: *points to t-shirt of Che Guevara* “Hey, look, it’s the lead singer of Rage Against The Machine!”

Teenager #2: “I am totally buying one!”

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