Fountains Of Tears

, , , , , | Friendly | December 1, 2017

(I work forty hours a week at my regular job, but I decide to spend weekends as a volunteer host at a historic building for two years. This building has a lot of great features, but our rooftop gardens are the most popular. Since it’s a secure building, you have to be accompanied to the roof by a host with security access. I’m giving a tour to a couple, a dad, and the dad’s three sons. The youngest one is about 11 and is fascinated with the fountains. I don’t mind too much, since he isn’t doing any damage.)

Kid: “Guys! This one has money in it!”

Me: “We encourage coins in the fountain, and we donate every cent to [Hospital].”

Kid: *reaching into the water* “I’m going to get it!”

Me: “I wouldn’t. Everything in that fountain will be given to charity, including kids.”

(The dad and brothers crack up and the kid snatches his hand back.)

Me: “That’s right. Fall in the fountain, and I’ll send you to the hospital.” *beat* “I really didn’t mean that as a threat.”

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Should Have Been More Frank(lin)

| Right | June 24, 2016

(I work at a presidential home, and in our gift shop we have a fandex that lists all the presidents to date. As I was ringing up a customer, this happened.)

Woman: *looking at fandex* “George Washington wasn’t a president!”

Me: *struggles to keep a straight face as she argues about this with her companion and eventually comes to the conclusion that she meant Benjamin Franklin*

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Left Out Of The Leftover Explanation

| Working | May 1, 2016

(I had just been hired to work at a historical site as an educator and I was just starting to meet my coworkers when the following moment happened.)

Boss: “Welcome to [Historic Site]! Let me introduce you to [Young, Male Coworker].”

Me: “Hi! Great to meet you!”

(Male coworker and I greet each other and continue with our opening procedures.)

Boss: *to Young, Male Coworker* “By the way, I brought you leftovers for lunch but if you don’t want them you can just GET YOUR OWN LUNCH!”

(I am very confused; her tone fell somewhere between playful and angry. I don’t say anything but my boss noticed my confused facial expression.)

Boss: “Oh! [Young, Male Coworker] is my son!”

Me: “Oh! Everything makes sense now!”

Boss: “Yes. I’m afraid I don’t bring leftovers for all of my coworkers.”

(My boss and her son are great!)

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