(I’m working at my high school as a computer tech. One afternoon, a teacher comes into our work area.)

Me: “Hey Mr. [Teacher], what’s the problem?”

Teacher: “Do I need to have a problem?”

Me: *feeling awkward* “Err, I guess not. That’s just why people usually come over here.”

Teacher: “Well, you should appreciate that there might be some other reason why I’m here.”

Me: “I understand. So why are you here?”

Teacher: “Well, I’m having a problem with the computer!”

(I am sitting quietly in Current Affairs when I get a tap on the back from behind from a student.)

Student: “Hey. Is Dick Cheney the funny man on TV?”

Me: “No, he was the Vice President during the Bush Administration.”

Student: *blank look*

Me: “You know, he was the one who shot his friend in the face while quail hunting?”

Student: “Oh my God, he what! Wait, what’s a quail?”

Me: “It’s a type of bird.”

Student: “Why on earth would anyone kill a bird?”

Me: “To eat?”

Student: “That’s disgusting!”

Me: “Where do you think chicken’s come from!?”

Student: “Oh… right. I swear I’m not dumb! I know who Tiger Woods is!”

Customer: “Excuse me, can I buy three tickets?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we’re sold out.”

Customer: “Isn’t this [Town] High School?”

Me: “Yes, but this show is sold out.”

Customer: “How many seats are left?”

Me: “None. We’re sold out. There’s another show tomorrow at–

Customer: “Well, next time you should think about being already sold out before you start selling tickets!”

(I am a bookstore clerk at the local high school. I am talking to a mom who is getting the books her daughter needs.)

Mother: “My daughter doesn’t have a problem with comprehension! She just doesn’t understand the material.”

This story is part of the Customers-Not-Quite-Getting-It roundup!

Read the next roundup story!

Read the roundup!

(I am sitting quietly in Current Affairs class when I get a tap on the back from a student behind me.)

Student: “Hey. Is Dick Cheney the funny man on TV?”

Me: “No, he was the vice president during the Bush administration.”

Student: *blank look*

Me: “You know, he was the one who shot his friend in the face while quail hunting?”

Student: “Oh, my God, he what?! Wait, what’s a quail?”

Me: “It’s a type of bird.”

Student: “Why on earth would anyone kill a bird?”

Me: “To eat?”

Student: “That’s disgusting!”

Me: “Where do you think chickens come from!?”

Student: “Oh… right. I swear I’m not dumb! I know who Tiger Woods is!”

This story is part of our More-You-Read-The-Worse-It-Gets roundup!

Read the next More-You-Read-The-Worse-It-Gets roundup story!

Read the More-You-Read-The-Worse-It-Gets roundup!

This story is part of the More-Extra-Stupid-Customers roundup!

Read the next More-Extra-Stupid-Customers roundup story!

Read the More-Extra-Stupid-Customers roundup!