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Some Ideas Fall Flat

| Learning | May 2, 2013

Student #1: “You know, kids quite like pop-up books. It’d be really cool if we could make a pop-up book, but without the pop-ups so the kids don’t think it’s too childish.”

Student #2: *long pause* “So… a book, then?”

Student #1: “Yes!”

An Ach-Tongue Lashing

| Learning | May 1, 2013

(Our school has just hired a new German teacher and my class is the first to get her for lessons. The following happens in the second week of term following the first test we had. As we were all new to the language the test was pretty easy, such as how to spell German in German (“Deutsch”). The teacher begins handing back tests we just took.)

Teacher: “So you all did pretty well; though there was one issue.”

(The teacher stops behind one of the boys in the class.)

Teacher: “[Student’s name], how do you spell German in German?”

Student: “I don’t know.”

Teacher: *to student* “Stand up and go outside!”

(The teacher props our classroom door open so we can hear what is being said. Note that our class was on the second floor.)

Teacher: “I want you to run up and down these stairs five times and spell out the word – D.E.U.T.S.C.H – one letter per step.”

(Our teacher stayed with the boy whilst he spelt it out twice correctly before coming back into the class. As far as I know, no one ever forgot how to spell Deutsch after that!)

This Student Has A Singular Mind

| Learning | April 30, 2013

Student #1: “So, what if I opened this window and an eagle flew onto my arm?”

Student #2: “Yeah! You could name it Charles!”

Student #3: “Actually, that would be two eagles.”

(Students #1 and #2 look at her blankly.)

Student #3: “Because ‘Charles’ is plural.”

Like They Do On The Discovery Channel

| Learning | April 28, 2013

(I am a high school science teacher giving a lesson on evolution.)

Me: “So, the only bodily fluids that can transmit HIV include blood, semen, vaginal fluids, and breast milk.”

Female Student: *grabs her breast* “Hey, how does that work anyway? How does milk get in these?”

Me: “You’re kidding, right?”

Female Student: “No.”

Me: “You make it.”

Female Student: “What?! We make milk?!”

Me: “Yeah. We’re mammals.”

Male Student: *bewildered* “Wow. Just… wow.”

He’s A Cultural Geicon

| Learning | April 26, 2013

(We’re talking about food chains in biology class.)

Girl #1: “Wait, what’s a gecko?”

Girl #2: “You know the lizard from the Geico commercials?”

Girl #1: *annoyed* “No, that’s a Geico!”