Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

Getting The Book To Them Becomes A Story

, , , , , | Right | May 21, 2021

I am an author. I receive an email from a teenage reader.

Reader: “I really enjoyed your latest book. I’d like to read [Older Title], but it’s not at my library.”

This, of course, appeals to my vanity.

Me: “I’ll send you a copy via your school.”

I don’t feel comfortable asking for his home address.

Reader: “Seriously? That would be great. I go to [High School].”

I send him a copy of the book, but a few days later it comes back, marked “addressee unknown.” I email him.

Me: “The post office sent the book back. You go to [High School] at [address], right?”

Reader: “Yeah. I’m not sure what the problem is.”

Me: “Well, maybe they only looked at faculty names. I’ll label it ‘student’ next time; that should clear it up.”

I send the book again, and again it comes back “addressee unknown.” I email him again.

Me: “I can’t figure out what the problem is. I labeled it [Reader], STUDENT.”

Reader: “Oh, that’s not my real name. My real name is [Full Name].”

This name was completely different from the one he signed his emails with. I sent the book via that name and it arrived just fine.

1 Thumbs
334

We’re Positive That Was A Bad Choice

, , , , , , , | Learning | May 4, 2021

My school is hybrid with students coming in part-time due to full-time viral yuck. A student emails me that she may have been exposed to viral yuck and wants me to know she’s quarantined. I call her to check in on her.

Me: “So, you went out with friends and one of them tested positive afterward?”

Student: “Yes, ma’am. I didn’t even hang out with her that much.”

Me: “You were in different rooms the whole time?”

Student: “No, but we only got near each other to pass what we were smoking.”

Me: “…”

Student: “What?”

Me: “First of all, why are you telling me that part? Second, you put your mouth on something that had her saliva and breath on it?”

Student: “Well, now that you put it that way, I’m worried.”

1 Thumbs
452

A Mono-Track Mind

, , , , , , | Learning | May 3, 2021

In my freshman year of high school, I have some pretty bad luck with my health early on in the year. Somehow, I manage to catch strep and tonsillitis AT THE SAME TIME, so I miss about two weeks of school. I am okay for a while after the full course of antibiotics, but I start feeling sick and groggy again pretty quickly so I go back to the doctor. This time, I have mono. Not only that, but I have TWO DIFFERENT STRAINS of mono.

My school, in their infinite wisdom, says I can’t miss any more days or I’ll have to repeat the semester. Great. So I try to just power through, which is made more difficult by the fact that my first class of the day was algebra.

I’m sitting in class, nodding off HARD while trying to pay attention and take notes, pinching my arm black and blue trying to stay awake. Eventually, I decide to take a ten-second power nap to try and recharge a little bit. I close my eyes and count to one…

Teacher: *Shaking my shoulder gently* “[My Name]?”

Me: *Groggy* “Huh?”

Teacher: “Your pencil’s still moving, but your head’s been down for ten minutes.”

Me: “What?!”

I look at my desk and see pencil scribbles everywhere.

Me: “Oh, my God, I’m so sorry. I’m trying to pay attention, I swear I am…”

I frantically try to clean up the scribbles and grab the desk when I get dizzy.

Teacher: *Concerned* “[My Name], you look like h***. What’s wrong?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I have mono.”

Teacher: *Shocked* “What?! What are you doing in school? You should be at home resting!”

Me: “I’d love to be, but the office said I can’t miss any more school since I missed so much last month.”

My teacher is silent for a moment, clearly angry.

Teacher: “Put your head back down and go to sleep. I’ll print the notes for you. Do you need, I don’t know, water or something? Anything I can get you?”

Me: “I’m okay. Are you sure?”

Teacher: “I’m sure. Go to sleep.”

I thanked him and went to sleep. I genuinely don’t remember the rest of the day, or most of the recovery period, but when I got home my parents had gotten a VERY apologetic call from the office saying that I could stay home until I was better and my teachers would email me notes and assignments. Turns out my algebra teacher had gone to the office and demanded an explanation as to why one of his students was being forced to attend class when they were too ill to even stay awake and the vice-principal, who was awesome and way better than the principal, hadn’t heard about this and demanded an explanation, as well. I might hate math, but that was the absolute best math teacher I ever had!


This story is part of our Best Of May 2021 roundup!

Read the next Best Of May 2021 roundup story!

Read the Best Of May 2021 roundup!

1 Thumbs
1,058

I Pledge Allegiance To Tea And Scones

, , , , , | Learning | April 29, 2021

I was a teenage boy attending high school in the USA. Every morning, the whole class would stand up and, with varying degrees of enthusiasm, recite the pledge of allegiance. I did not join in.

As time went by, the homeroom teacher noticed my lack of standing and pledging, and she got angrier and angrier, until one day, she flipped out.

She grabbed me by my shirt and dragged me through the halls of the school, red-faced and screaming almost incoherently about the pledge, the flag, patriotism, and so on and so forth. She dragged me through the office, past a surprised-looking receptionist, and thrust me through a closed door and almost onto my bum in front of the principal, still screeching away at the top of her lungs.

When he could finally get a word in edgeways, the principal said;

Principal: “Why do you refuse to recite the pledge, young man?”

Me: “Well, I’m English. Why would I?”

I thought the teacher was going to burst a blood vessel in her brain when he calmly accepted my explanation. I ended up changing homerooms the next week. Can’t imagine why.


This story is part of our Best Of April 2021 roundup!

Read the next Best Of April 2021 roundup story!

Read the Best Of April 2021 roundup!

1 Thumbs
791

Cut This Lesson Short

, , , , , , , | Learning | April 26, 2021

My mother is a high school maths teacher working with some of the younger and more difficult students. To try and encourage her students, she stamps their work with various motivational phrases.

A few minutes after giving her class back their homework, she notices one student looking a bit puzzled for a few minutes before putting his hand up.

Student: “Miss, what’s a eunuch?”

Although this isn’t exactly a maths question, my mum decides to try and answer anyway.

Mum: “Uh, well, a long time ago, in some countries, nobles used to have lots of wives or girlfriends who were all housed in special rooms within their palaces. You know how dogs can get neutered to prevent them having puppies? Well, they used to do that to some of their male servants so that they could be trusted to look after the women, and those servants were called eunuchs.”

As you can imagine, all of the students in the class have stopped what they were doing and are watching this scene. The student looks even more puzzled and a bit angry.

Student: “Well, why did you call me a eunuch, then?”

Mum: “What? What are you talking about? When did I call you a eunuch?”

Student: “You did! You wrote it on my homework!”

Mum: “I don’t know what you’re talking about! Show me.”

The student stormed up to her desk with his homework in hand and showed her the message she had stamped on it. What did it say?

“You’re unique.”

1 Thumbs
425