(I am given the job of taking messages to students all over the school, telling them to see various teachers or return books. The highlight of my day is this:)

Me: *enters a classroom of 15-year-olds* “Hey, I’ve got a message for [Name #1] and [Name #2]?”

Student: “Yeah?”

Me: *reading the message* “Okay. You need to return your Twilight books by Tuesday.”

(The entire class burst out laughing as I quickly left the room.)

(I’m a rather quiet person, but also a big prankster, which works to my advantage since it’s hard for people to tell when I’m joking. For one of our science tests we have to identify various compounds by looking at them through a microscope. Since it’s an unusual type of test, we’re allowed to confer with other students to make our identifications, and I decide to pull a prank by telling everyone that the sugar is actually salt.)

Classmate #1: “You’re sure it’s salt?”

Me: “Yeah, I’ve seen pictures of it under a microscope before.”

Classmate #2: “It looks like sugar to me…”

Me: “Trust me, it’s salt. I’m totally sure.”

Classmate #2: “Okay…”

(Eventually I overhear everyone identifying the sugar as salt. Skip ahead to the next week, after the test has been graded and we’re going over the answers…)

Teacher: “And number 21… was sugar. [My Name], you were the only one to get this one right.”

Me: *innocently* “Really?”

Classmate #2: “You said it was salt!”

Me: “You believed me!”

Classmate #2: “I could’ve gotten an A, no thanks to you!”

Teacher: “Hey, settle down. [My Name] has a point. In science, you don’t just take someone’s word for something. You test it and examine it for yourself.”

Me: “Cool! I was just playing a joke, but it ended up actually meaning something.”

Teacher: “Just don’t do it again.”

(My friend and I are sitting at our desk in science class. I turn to look at her and she has lifted her shirt up partially and has one hand under her shirt.)

Me: “What on earth are you doing?”

Friend: *looking at me like I’m an idiot* “Putting on deodorant.”

Me: “You’re wearing a tank top…”

(My AP European history teacher has just come back from a trip to Europe, and she’s telling the class a story from her travels in the Netherlands. She gets to where the story takes place and stops herself.)

Teacher: “No, it’s not appropriate for people your age.”

Class: “What?! What was it? Where were you?!”

Teacher: “Okay… well… it was a place for older people to… socialize with each other… and… relax…”

Class: “Was it a brothel? A hookah bar? BROTHEL?  Were you in a brothel?!”

Teacher: “NO, NO, NO, NO!”” *waves hands frantically*

(The class is now more convinced than ever that it was a brothel.)

Class: “It’s okay. You can tell us. We read [detailed section about medieval sex] in [history book].”

Teacher: “FINE. It was… a pub.”

Class: “A PUB?! You couldn’t tell us it was a pub?!”

(We were so disappointed.)

(I’m a quick learner, and finish tests early. To keep people from making comments, I often wait to turn it in. To keep myself from getting bored, I make little drawings on the paper. Later in the year, I announce that I’m leaving. I make little notes on the last test.)

Me: “Do you even really notice these?”

Teacher: *in writing* “I do. I copy them all.”