(We are in science class.)
Teacher: “If I have a liquid, how can I change the volume of it?”
Student: “Pee in it.”
Teacher: “No…”
Student: “Pour some of it out.”
Teacher: “Correct.”
Student: “… and THEN pee in it.”
(We are studying etymology, and the structure of languages trees. Our teacher is known for being informal and cool.)
Me: “Gah! I can’t seem to remember the order.”
Classmate: “Hold on, I’m in it…”
Teacher: “Come on. There are only four things to remember. ‘Family, Branch, Group, and Language. After that you get creoles, pidgins, and dialects, but you won’t be tested on that.”
Me: “I know, but it’s—”
Classmate: “I got it! ‘Fat B****s Get Laid!'”
Teacher: “Well, I guess that will do. Can I use it for my next class?”
(It’s been four years and I still remember it!)
(I am a high school freshman. I have an English teacher who is favored by mostly everyone for his humor and the activities he often does. We are doing an assignment near the end of class.)
English Teacher: “Now, I remember some of you were asking about my dog…”
(Lo and behold, he is holding a puppy on a leash. Keep in mind; this is in the middle of the school day. The class starts an uproar as he lets the class come up and pet her. At the end of class, I approach him.)
Me: “How did you get the school to let you bring your dog into class?”
English Teacher: “They let me do a lot of things they don’t know about.”
(My friend sneezes violently and loudly. Our whole group jumps.)
Friend #1: “What the h*** was that?!”
Sneezing Friend: “Sorry!”
Friend #2: “Your sneezes are so powerful! They always scare me!”
Sneezing Friend: “I don’t think I’ve ever had a ‘normal’ sneeze in my life.”
Friend #1: “Have you tried holding it in?”
Sneezing Friend: “You can’t hold back a sneeze; it’s like giving birth without the pushing!”
(I’m in my junior year of high school in my civics class. This is right after the 2004 election.)
Teacher: “How many of you voted?”
(No one raises their hands.)
Teacher: “I’m very disappointed in all of you. Don’t you know it’s your civic duty to be part of the election process?”
Me: “I don’t know about everyone else in the class, but I’m only 16. I can’t vote.”
Other Student: “Yeah, I’m 17.”
Teacher: “How many of you are 18?”
(No one raises their hand.)
Teacher: “God, I feel dumb. Sorry, guys! Never mind!”
