It Takes A Special Kind Of Crazy

, , , , , , | Learning | April 13, 2021

My friend is griping about her government class, which is required for all high schools in the USA. The students at our school are not generally the brightest crayons in the box.

Friend #1: “I don’t see why we have to take government, anyway. Nobody here is gonna go into it.”

Me: “I’m sure there are people both dumb enough and charismatic enough to be politicians.”

Friend #2: “Like me?”

Me: “No. You’re way too much of a good person to be a politician.”

Friend #2: “Aww! Thank you!”

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We’ll Leave The Ghost Light On For You

, , , | Learning | April 12, 2021

I’m in the high school drama production. I’m waiting quietly in a corner for it to begin when a little girl approaches me. It’s normal for there to be kids backstage because our show requires full families. I’m playing a nurse in the show.

Little Girl: “Hey, excuse me. Can I ask you something?”

Me: “Oh, sure. What is it?”

Little Girl: “Aren’t you a little pale to be a nurse?”

I’m really, really pale and my foundation is almost the lightest shade, but people don’t usually comment on it.

Me: “Umm…”

Little Girl: “You look like a ghost or kinda like you’re sick.”

She leaves.

Me: “Thanks.”

I later found out that this was the daughter of my music teacher and one of the directors of our show. Apparently, I was looking a little too pale, because the women who were in charge of the makeup tracked me down before the next show, bronzer in hand.

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We Thought He Was A Donkey

, , , , , | Learning | April 4, 2021

Spanish Teacher: “Don Quixote is a caballero, so what is he in English?”

Student: *With complete confidence* “A horse.”

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We Totally See What You Mean

, , , , | Learning | April 3, 2021

We are attempting to help my English teacher set up and troubleshoot a video call for a number of classmates who can’t attend class in person.

Online Student: “You’re very blurry.”

Teacher: “That’s just my personality.”

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The Only Thing Scarier Than Creative Writing

, , , , , , | Learning | March 29, 2021

I’m in an English Studies class and the teacher is known for his jokes and sarcasm. We’ve just done a creative writing task based on an image prompt, and we’re discussing one of the stories.

Teacher: “Have you ever broken a bone?”

Student: “Yeah. My leg, playing football.”

Teacher: *To me* “Have you ever broken a bone?”

Me: “I do parkour, so… many.”

Teacher: “I’ve only ever broken one.” *Absolutely serious* “It wasn’t mine.”

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