Water You Worried About?

, , , , | Learning | December 6, 2017

(I am in math class during my sophomore year. One of my classmates has a gallon jug of water on the corner of her desk. A student bumps it and it breaks.)

Teacher: “What was that?”

Me: “[Student]’s water broke.”

(The class starts laughing as [Student] and I both turn bright red.)

Me: “The water bottle broke! The water bottle!”

Every Teacher Has A First Name

, , , , | Learning | December 2, 2017

(My math teacher has a reputation for being a total jerk. We’re in a small class with about seven students, so everyone can hear what someone is saying. One of my classmates is talking about how she doesn’t want to go to his class next period.)

Classmate #1: “Mr. [Teacher] is such a jerk.”

Classmate #2: “He’s scary.”

Classmate #3: “He isn’t scary! His first name is Brad!”

(Entire class starts laughing.)

A rr-eally Good Example

, , , , , | Learning | November 30, 2017

(I am in a high school biology class. We are learning about Punnett squares.)

Teacher: “You take the Dominant D gene and the Recessive r genes and slide them down the boxes, like this, to get DD Dr Dr rr. So, in a perfect world, out of four kids, parents who both have Dr genes would have one kid that displays the recessive gene.” *looks at [Student #1]* “Like [Student #1]’s freaking family, proving theoretical genealogy. Out of four kids, his parents had three brunette girls and one ginger boy. With how randomized genes can be, it’s utterly amazing his family actually exists.”

Putting The “Vice” In “Vice Principal”

, , , , , , , | Learning | November 25, 2017

(I am in my animation class during a recess break and want to show my teacher a new video from a 3D animator I like. This teacher is very lax about students using computers in the classroom to work, research, or play games.)

Me: “Hey, [Teacher], check out this new video [Animator] put out!”

Teacher: “Oh, wow, this looks pretty interesting.” *another student calls for assistance* “Keep it playing; let me go help someone really quick.”

(My teacher goes to the front of the room to help someone else. I am in the middle rows, and at the back rows are several boys gathered around, playing some form of Grand Theft Auto. At this time, I am the only Asian student in the room. The vice principal walks into the room and goes around the back, looking over all students’ shoulders at their screens, and immediately comes up to me.)

Vice-Principal: “What do you think you’re doing? Do you think this sort of thing is appropriate for class?” *rips out my flash drive from the computer* “Give me that! I’ll be confiscating this thing and examining everything on this. You should know better.”

(The vice principal left without even checking or making note of my name to keep with my drive. My teacher wasn’t even aware that the vice principal had come in, and when I told him what happened he was just as confused as I was. He even asked the group of boys playing GTA if they got in trouble, and they said no. A week later my teacher managed to talk to the vice principal and get my flash drive back. All he could tell me was that the vice principal said, “Sorry, I was in a bad mood.” Over the next three years of high school I learned that particular vice principal was very racist towards Asian students. Even when he noticed multiple students “breaking rules,” like wearing hats or using earphones, he only confiscated things from Asian students. Two students were standing side by side, both clearly wearing earphones, but only the Asian student was reprimanded. If any student was to try to reclaim their items at the end of the week, there was no further security to make sure they got their own item back. If you lost expensive earphones, guess what? Earphones are earphones; take one and leave. This is the same vice principal that accused me of doing cocaine because I had long nails!)

It’s An Old Joke In A Snowstorm

, , , , , , , | Learning | November 24, 2017

(I am in art class. The teacher has asked us to draw an animal similar to how they were drawn in the Stone Age. The teacher comes around to make sure we did the assignment.)

Student: “Look at mine.”

(He shows me his paper and it’s blank.)

Me: *joking* “Yeah, it’s a polar bear in a snowstorm.”

Teacher: *coming over* “Let me see what you have.”

Student: “It’s a polar bear in a snowstorm.”

Me: “…”

Teacher: “…”

Me: *to the student* “I was joking when I said that.”

Teacher: “Extra point for the title, but I’m marking the assignment as missing.”

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