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Being Unable To Count Is A Sign You Should Stop Drinking

, , , , | Right | June 25, 2018

(I work as a cashier at a big, popular grocery store. We have customers who constantly try to buy alcohol although they aren’t 18, which is the legal age here. A couple walks up to the register. The man, who is much older than the woman and almost looks like he could be her dad, is on his phone and seems very distracted. The woman looks about 23, is dressed in a fluffy fur coat, and wears lots of trendy jewellery, visibly trying to look a lot older than she actually is. Store policy says that we have to card anyone that looks younger than 30, so when I see her loading several cans of cider and long drink — a bitter-tasting alcoholic beverage popular in Finland — onto the belt, I automatically ask her for her ID.)

Woman: “Do you really think that is necessary?!”

Me: “Yes. We have to card anyone who looks younger than 30. May I please see your ID?”

Woman: “How dare you?! It’s actually my 22nd birthday today! Do I f****** look like I am under 18 to you?”

Me: “Well, happy birthday. But I still need to see proof.”

(At this point, the man with her — who has been on the phone all this time — finishes his call, and looks confused.)

Man: *leaning in to whisper quite loudly to the woman* “Babe, just say you’re with me.”

(He then proceeds to show his own ID, and I see that he is born in January of 1973. When I ask about her ID for the third time around, she screams at me, loud enough for half the store to hear.)

Woman: “What is wrong with you?! What’s your name? I’m going to report you to your manager for age discrimination!”

Me: “Uh… What? It’s my duty to card anyone who doesn’t look older than 30.”

Woman: “Just because an ugly little b**** like you can’t find a rich boyfriend like mine doesn’t mean you’re allowed to discriminate just because my boyfriend is older than me!”

(I can now see the way out of this situation, if she is dumb enough not to see where this is going.)

Me: “How much older?”

Woman: “Twenty-seven years!”

Me: “Ma’am, your boyfriend just showed me his ID, and he is born in January 1973. With simple math, I came to the conclusion that you’re either 16 or 17 years old, not old enough to buy alcohol for at least a year, depending on which month you were born in. Please remove yourself from the store before I call security.”

Woman: “AAARGH!”

(She then stomped off, screaming at her boyfriend for “being dumb enough” to show me his ID. To be honest, I think she was the dumber one, in this case!)

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A Ballooning Sense Of Bad Behavior

, , , , | Right | January 1, 2017

(It is daytime during New Year’s Eve, and I go to buy some supplies for my brother. When I walk through the door, I see a balloon stand with lovely New Year’s Eve-themed balloons, so I pick one out. Soon I notice a middle-aged customer, an angry-looking woman, who is intentionally following me when I walk around. Suddenly, she grabs me violently by the shoulder, forcing me to stop.)

Me: “Uh, excuse me, what are you doing?”

Customer: “You can’t do that!”

Me: “Do what exactly?”

Customer: “Walk around in the store with a balloon with you like that!”

Me: “I took this from the balloon stand by the door, and I intend to pay for it before leaving, if that is what you mean.”

Customer: “NOOO! I mean, you can’t just strut around looking all snobby and important with that balloon, showing it off like, ‘Look what I’m getting for my kids’! It makes me look like an a**hole!”

(I’m only 22 and have no kids, so I tell her that I’m getting it for my grandma since she’s hosting a dinner for my family tonight.)

Customer: “See! That’s even worse! Why can’t ordinary people just walk around the store without feeling obligated to buy stuff like that for others who certainly don’t need it?”

(At this point, I’m so confused that I go completely silent, but the woman just keeps repeating herself, with her voice going higher and louder each time. I just stand there dumbfounded, when mall security suddenly appears.)

Security: “What’s going on here?”

Customer: “This woman is basically forcing me to buy a balloon for my kids even though I don’t want to!”

Security: *to me* “Did you do this?”

Me: “No, there has to be some mistake here. I never spoke to her or even looked at her before she came up to me and grabbed me by the shoulder. I was just walking around with this balloon that I picked up by the balloon stand while collecting other items.”

(The woman goes totally crazy and starts grabbing me by my hair. The mall security officer steps in and firmly holds her away from me.)

Security: “Finish up your shopping and meet me by the cashiers, and we’ll go have a look at the tapes. I’ll keep an eye on this woman in the meantime.”

(I went to pay for my items, including the balloon, and then I followed him to the room with all the security tape screens. He saw exactly what happened on the tape, and he let me go. While I was walking to my car, I could still hear the woman screaming in protest. I guess her problem was having a bad conscience!)


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Sold A Game, Bought A Life-Lesson

, , , , | Right | September 13, 2013

(I work in a store that sells and buys used games, consoles, and computers. We require that everyone who sells us something shows an ID. A young customer comes to the store to sell PS3 games.)

Me: “Hey there. What have you got for us?”

Customer: “Some games.”

(He puts the games on the counter. I check them and we agree on the price.)

Me: “Okay, I’ll need your ID, please.”

Customer: “What?! No! Why?”

Me: “It’s store policy, and it really helps with cutting down the number of people trying to sell us stolen items. I know it’s a bit of drag when selling just games, but we buy a lot of expensive electronics, as well. There’s no way around it I’m afraid.”

Customer: “No one is required to carry around an ID in Finland! That is the law! We are free here.”

Me: “Sure, but I’m not required to buy these games from you either.”

Customer: “But I don’t have to have my ID with me. It’s the f***** law. Check it, you ignorant dumb-a**!”

Me: “What that law means is that you can’t get arrested for being without an ID, but there is still a whole bunch of stuff that you can’t do. You can’t get a loan from the bank, make a phone contract, etc… I’m done arguing about this. Show me an ID, or I won’t buy these games. It’s as simple as that.”

Customer: “Fine! Whatever!”

(The customer throws his ID on the counter, fuming. We get the transaction done, and he goes to the shopping area to look at the games on sale. After a while, the alarm at the door goes off. I look up and see the same customer bolting from the store. A coworker starts to run after him. I stop him.)

Me: “Don’t bother. That guy just sold us some games.”

(My coworker laughs so hard he has to go to the office. I look up the customer’s info and call the number services to get his phone number. I call him and he answers.)

Customer: “Yeah?”

Me: “Hey, this is [My Name] from [Store].”

(There is a long silence.)

Me: “Yeah, if you could just bring back the games you stole, that would be great.”

Customer: “I, uh…”

Me: “Otherwise, we will be forced to contact the police. Come now and we can settle this.”

Customer: *sheepishly* “Okay. Don’t call the police, please.”

Me: “Be here in five minutes.”

(After about two minutes, he comes running through the door. I take him to the office, and he gives me back the stolen game. I look at him closely and can see that he is really scared.)

Customer: “I’m so sorry! I’m not a thief. I just got pissed because of the whole ID argument and wasn’t thinking straight. My dad is a lawyer, and I guess I thought I knew about this stuff. I was stupid and wrong. Please don’t call the police; I’m not a criminal.”

(I believe him and actually feel kind of sorry for him. He is only eighteen after all, and everyone makes mistakes.)

Me: “Okay, I believe you have learned a lesson. We forgive you, and the matter is settled.”

(He thanked me profusely and left. The next day, he showed up to the store with some candy and pastries for the whole staff. Over the next months, he has become a regular of the store. He is always very polite and nice and has even been seen arranging the games after other customers have messed up the shelves. He is a far cry from the arrogant brat that came to the store the first time. Everyone deserves a break.)


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Scanning Ahead

, , , , , , | Right | June 17, 2013

(I work at a second-hand store that mainly sells games and consoles, but also some computers and computer accessories. A customer is standing near the scanners, so I go to help him.)

Me: “Hi there. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I need a copier.”

Me: “Unfortunately, we don’t carry those.”

Customer: “What about these?”

Me: “Those are scanners.”

Customer: “You can make copies with those?”

Me: “In a way, yes. You can scan an image and print it, and you’ll have a copy. It’s an okay method if you only need a few copies once in a while. For big volumes, it’s not really that great unless you have a really good printer.”

Customer: “I don’t have a printer.”

Me: “Well, a scanner won’t be a good solution as a copier, then, unless you buy a printer also. We don’t carry printers, unfortunately, since used printers are very unreliable.”

Customer: “That is just stupid! What is the point of this copy machine if you need other machines with it also?”

Me: “That is a scanner. Its purpose is to convert documents and images to a form that a computer can—”

Customer: “Wait! Why are you talking about computers? I don’t have a computer and I don’t want one! I see what you’re doing. You just want to make me buy useless stuff I don’t need!”

Me: “I can assure you—”

Customer: “You can assure me of nothing! I’ll take that one.”

(The customer points to the cheapest scanner, smiling smugly.)

Me: “You will have absolutely no use for that without a computer. And I must point out that we are not required to give refunds on functioning products. You really should not buy that.”

Customer: “I’ll take it!”

(The customer grabs the scanner and walks towards the checkout. I follow him, and before the cashier rings him through I stop him for a moment.)

Me: “Sir, again, I advise you not to buy the scanner, and again, I’m informing you that we will not be taking it back unless it’s broken. It’s a lot of extra work for taking back functioning products. We need to do some paperwork and test the product again before reselling it. So please, for all our sakes, don’t buy it.”

Customer: “Here’s the money!”

(The customer pays and leaves. I put a notice in our system not to take the scanner back unless it’s really broken. A few days later, I’m called from the office to the cash registers, and there he is: the same customer.)

Customer: “This here piece of s*** you sold me doesn’t work! I want my money back.”

Me: “How is it broken?”

Customer: “Completely! It doesn’t do anything!”

Me: “So I won’t be able to scan anything with it?”

Customer: “No you won’t!”

(We have a testing computer set up on the buy-in counter. I go through the process of hooking up the scanner while the customer watches. With a pen, I write something on a blank paper, scan it, and print out the scan. I hand the two papers to the customer. It says “No refund” on both papers.)

Me: “Seems to be working fine.”

(The customer grabbed the scanner and stormed out. We watched him as he threw the scanner to the pavement and shattered it, jumped into his car, and sped off.)


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Not So Crazy About Tim And Daisy

, , , , | Right | March 8, 2011

(We sell DVDs as well as books. A customer has taken interest in the complete “Spaced” DVD box. As it is one of my favorite shows, I offer to help.)

Me: “Hi, can I help you? That’s an excellent show, by the way.”

Customer: “Yeah? What is it about?”

Me: “It’s a British rom-com with some geeky humor. The cast and the crew describe it as a labor of love, since they had such a small budget. You can really tell they enjoyed making it.”

Customer: “I don’t want it if it’s made with love!”

(The customer puts the box away with a look of disgust and leaves in a huff.)


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