Crispy Cops

, , , , , | Right | January 12, 2019

(We are in the middle of a rush. A customer orders almost all of our chicken; we only have white meat in our original recipe left. The car behind him wants a crispy two-piece meal and some potato wedges.)

Me: “The car in front of you ordered all the crispy that I had on hand.”

(This doesn’t seem to bother him too much. He gets to the window, pays for a meal, and asks to talk to my manager. As the general manager is cooking more chicken, his relief manager talks to him.)

Customer: “You guys never have the chicken I order! Every time I come in I need to wait about fifteen to twenty minutes for you to get my food.”

(After complaining, he took his food and left. About fifteen minutes later he calls the store complaining.)

Customer: “The chicken is disgusting; I wouldn’t even feed it to my dog! The potato wedges are harder than bone! I am going to come to the store and show you how bad of a job you did!”

(He shows up and shows us a chicken he had. It has met all of our selling expectations. In the store he said his potato wedges are too soggy so he had to bake them in is own oven, and now they are too hard. Since the guy is being a complete jack-a**, my manager refuses to give him a refund and tells him to leave the restaurant. The customer decides to record the whole conversation between him and my manager. He goes outside and pouts for fifteen minutes; after that, he calls the cops. The officer talks to him for ten minutes and then comes inside. The officer is wondering, just as we are, what is wrong with this guy. My manager tells the officer what happened, then the officer goes back outside to talk to the guy.)

Customer: “Can I at least post the video I took online?

Officer: “Sure, if you want to make an a** of yourself.”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Officer: “You were angry because they sold you perfectly good chicken, potato wedges that you ruined yourself, and you wanted them to refund you $13 even though you have eaten more than half of your meal. You would be making an a** of yourself.”

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Must Be Friends With Aaron Schlossberg

, , , , , , , | Right | July 9, 2018

(A regular customer has come into my line. She speaks very limited English, so we do the transaction in Spanish, making small talk as I scan the items in. It’s very late for our store, past ten pm, and I’m the only open register. A burly man comes in line and slowly gets more and more frustrated, I assume because of the wait. It’s worth noting that I’m white, but speak pretty fluent Spanish.)

Me: *to [Customer #1], in Spanish* “Have a nice day, and good luck tomorrow!”

Customer #1: *in Spanish* “Oh, you, too. Sorry you’ll have the angry one.”

([Customer #1] leaves, and [Customer #2] looms over the register, getting in my face.)

Customer #2: “So, you speakin’ monkey language?”

(My jaw drops. I’m new, and still in high school. The guy has several inches on me, and no one is around.)

Me: “I-I’m sorry?”

Customer #2: “I asked if you was speakin’ monkey language.”

Me: *I blink* “Well, I can understand you just fine, sir.”

(The man went about purple in the face as I realized what I had just said. I was certain the man would kill me. With his neck veins literally bulging, he stormed out of the store, leaving his items.)

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