(We run a business that supplies weapons, clothing, and armour for Live Action Role Play [LARP] and re-enactment. We often set up and sell directly to customers at games, as well as participating in the combat ourselves.)

Me: “So, you want the full set of plate armour? That’ll be [price].”

Customer: “Great. I can’t wait!”

Me: “Do you have a gambeson?”

Customer: “What’s that?”

Me: “It’s a type of padded jacket you need to wear underneath most armours. It’s great for protecting your real-world squishy meat sack from the physical force of the blows, and—”

Customer: “Nah, it’s fine. They’re just toy swords. How much damage can they do?”

Me: “Again, it’s full, steel-plate armour, and without a gambeson to pad it, a lot of the force on it is transferred straight to your body. I suppose if you have, like, a puffy winter jacket—”

Customer: “Listen. Stop trying to upsell me, all right?! I’ve been doing this stuff for years! Just… the d***… armour.”

Me: “All right. It’s your call, mate.”

(I processed the sale, and then assisted him into the armour, as it’s very difficult to achieve alone, and the customer had no friends to help. An hour after that, full combat started, and I could see this guy running down the field at full tilt. A minute later, a Code Red was called for a serious injury that required the medical officer. The customer had fallen over and cracked a rib inside his own armour, because there was no padding.)

(I am a lifeguard at a community pool. A man has just come up to me, concerned about another patron.)

Patron: *pointing at the older man who is swimming laps* “Is he dead?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Patron: “He looks like he’s dead in the water.”

(My lifeguard stand is higher than his eye level, so I can see that the man is moving, but this patron can’t.)

Me: “No, he’s alive… I think… Thanks for being concerned with him, anyway.”

(I’ve been badly near-sighted since childhood and have worn glasses or contact lenses nearly all my life. My driver’s license states that I’m required to wear them to drive. I am wearing contacts when I have my driver’s license picture taken. Four years later, I’m in the Bureau of Motor Vehicles office to renew my license, but now I’m wearing glasses. It’s time to take the eye test.)

BMV Employee: “You need to take off your glasses.”

Me: “Why? I need them to see.”

BMV Employee: “You’re not wearing them in this picture.”

Me: “That’s because I was wearing contacts then. Now, I wear glasses.”

BMV Employee: “You need to take them off.”

Me: “I need them to see.”

BMV Employee: “You’re not wearing glasses in this picture. Take them off.”

Me: “I didn’t wear glasses then. Now, I do. Check my driver’s license. It has a restriction for glasses or contacts.”

BMV Employee: “You need to take your glasses off.”

Me: “I need them to see.”

BMV Employee: *very snippy* “If you want to get your license renewed today, you need to take your glasses off.”

Me: *knowing what’s about to happen* “Okay.”

BMV Employee: “Read line five on the chart.”

Me: “I can’t even see line five.”

BMV Employee: “Okay, read line four.”

Me: “I can’t see line four.”

BMV Employee: “Read line three.”

Me: “I can’t see that, either.”

BMV Employee: *disgusted* “What can you see?”

Me: “Nothing. Just a blur.”

BMV Employee: *sarcastic, like this is all my fault and I’m the stupid one here* “Well, maybe you should put your glasses on!”

Me: “Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.”

Related:
Blind To Reason, Part 6
Blind To Reason, Part 5
Blind To Reason, Part 4

(This takes place in my history class. [Girl #1] walks up to our male teacher to ask to go to the bathroom. I am also a girl.)

Girl #1: “Um, can I go to the bathroom?”

Teacher: “What? No; you just had a 45 minute lunch break!”

([Girl #1] purses her lips but goes and sits down. A girl who sits behind her and in front of me suddenly pulls out a tampon.)

Girl #2: “Mr. [Teacher]?”

Teacher: “Yeah?”

Girl #2: “You want to know why she couldn’t go to the bathroom during the lunch break?”

(At this point she starts waving the tampon around.)

Girl #2: “Because she didn’t have this with her at lunch!”

Teacher: “Oh, yea-“

(He suddenly looks up and his eyes widened.)

Teacher: “Go to the bathroom.”

([Girl #1] gets up, embarrassed.)

Girl #1: “Thanks, [Girl #2]!”

(She leaves to go to the bathroom, and a couple moments later a boy asks to go to the bathroom. Our teacher says no, and when said boy points out that [Girl #1] got to go, he says:)

Teacher: “Well, you don’t have the same reason!”

(I lost it.)

CONTENT WARNING: Death

I’m living next door to my grandfather and renting one of the units that he owns. There was a beehive on the property that we were going to hire someone to remove. Unfortunately, before this could happen, the bees ended up swarming. Even worse, I had stepped out to run some errands and was gone longer than I had planned, just over an hour, and had left my two dogs outside. I didn’t realize what was going on until I got out of my car and felt something buzzing around me. I ran into my yard and passed one of my dogs lying there, dead, and the full impact of the situation finally struck me.

Thankfully, I already had my key in hand and managed to get inside while only being stung once. I called 911, but I was trapped inside while the fire department and an exterminator were called out. I was shaken and upset, receiving multiple phone calls from family, and also from a deputy and the battalion fire chief, as my place was difficult to find. I watched everything through my sliding glass doors and was able to speak to the firemen through the glass, letting them know about the dogs.

It was dark when the fire department cleared out and the exterminator came and spoke with me, letting me know that I couldn’t go out because the bees were still active, and that they would have to return in the morning to finish removing the hive. My dogs were still in the yard, and I didn’t want to leave them outside like that all night. I called the battalion chief back to see if any of his crew was still on scene. He told me they had already cleared, but asked me what I needed all the same. I let him know about the dogs and that I was hoping that his crew would be able to pick them up. At first he believed that I meant for the dogs to be taken away altogether and said they could come back in the morning. But when I clarified that I only wanted someone to take them next door to my grandfather’s so that he could bury them, he told me he would see what he could do.

He ended up coming out himself in a truck and protective gear, asked me where the dogs were, and advised me not to watch while he took them away. I later found out he was stung a few times for his troubles, but treated the dogs very gently.

It was a horrible life lesson to learn, and I will always regret not taking the necessary precautions, but I will always be grateful to the battalion chief for going above and beyond.