Voicing Your Concerns

, , , | Right | August 26, 2017

(Unfortunately, I’m the odd customer in this one. I approached a checkout at about four pm, ready to pay for my item.)

Cashier: “Afternoon!”

Me: “Good afterno—”

(I pause for a moment.)

Me: “Sorry, I just realised that’s the first time I’ve spoken all day. My voice box isn’t too happy about it.”

A Sickening Lack Of Cover

, , , , | Working | August 25, 2017

(There is a bug going around town that most of us in the office have either caught or are coming down with. Several employees are out, and the rest of us either have just gotten over it, are feeling like we’re coming down with it, or have had family members who have had it. My department has three of us: myself, Coworker #1, and Coworker #2. I work early morning until three, Coworker #1 from late morning to six, and Coworker #3 (our part-time person) from midday to six. Coworker #1 and I are both feeling unwell, but since it’s the slowest day of the week, we’re both thinking we might leave early — provided Coworker #2 is feeling well and can cover the phones when we leave. Coworker #2 arrives, extremely chipper and bubbly. Everyone who has the bug is very sluggish, and you can tell, but she has no signs of feeling sick at all.)

Coworker #2: “Hi, everyone! How’s it going?”

(Cue series of not-so-energetic responses from us.)

Coworker #2: “Oh, dear, you don’t seem like you’re having a good day!”

(She proceeds to continue on about how great her morning has been. About an hour later, Coworker #1 returns from lunch.)

Coworker #1: “You know, I’m still feeling bad… I may have to go home. [Coworker #2], you might have to cover this evening by yourself. I’m sorry!”

Coworker #2: “Oh? Wait, you’re leaving?”

Coworker #1: “Maybe. Going to see how I feel but I might.”

Coworker #2: *visibly deflates* “You’ll leave me by myself?”

Coworker #1: “I don’t want to, but if I need to, yeah. I’m just feeling really bad.”

Coworker #2: “Oh… [My Name], you’ll be here though, right?”

Me: “No, I get off at three like usual. Plus, I’m also feeling kind of sick so I’ll probably head out a little early if we’re not busy.”

Coworker #2: “Oh… you know, I don’t feel very good either… I’m going on break, though. See you in an hour! Bye!” *dashes off*

(An hour later, I get a text from Coworker #2.)

Coworker #2: “Hey, I’m sick. Can’t come back in today.”

(As our manager is out sick himself, I show it to Coworker #1, who frowns.)

Coworker #1: “She was fine until she heard I might leave early!”

Me: “Do I need to call her on it? I mean, I’m not the manager, but he’s out sick, too…”

Coworker #1: “Nah, I think I’m good. I’ll just hope we’re slow! And if I really have to go, I’ll call [Manager]. Maybe we can close up early.”

(I end up staying a little later than three to make sure Coworker #1 was okay, and she stayed until her normal shift ended. Thankfully, we were both feeling better the next day — and hopefully that situation won’t occur again, because even though I feel bad to say it, I’m not sure I trust Coworker #2 to come through for us if it does!)

Keep An Eye On That One

, , , | Related | August 24, 2017

(My younger brother runs into my bedroom crying, and throws himself on my bed.)

Younger Brother: “WHY WON’T MUM LET ME GET A BB GUN?!”

Me: “Because you could lose an eye.”

Younger Brother: “That’s stupid. Who would be dumb enough to lose an eye with a toy!”

(I remove my fake eye. He goes pale and runs out of the room, screaming at how disgusting I am.)

Older Brother: “What’s going on?!”

Younger Brother: “[My Name]! He’s got a fake eye! It’s disgusting!”

(My older brother smirks at me and takes his out. My younger brother goes paler and storms up to his bedroom, screaming that we’re both freaks.)

Mum: “What’s with all the shouting… Oh for goodness sake! You didn’t show him! We promised not until he’s sixteen!”

Older Brother: “He would’ve found out anyways. He’s not stupid.”

Me: “Besides, he wanted a BB gun. How else was I supposed to convince him?!”

Mum: “Yes, but I kept saying you just had lazy eyes!”

(At least it put him off wanting a gun. Just so no one goes off on my mum’s parenting, yes, we lost our eyes with BB guns, but my mum didn’t give them to us. In fact, she refused to let us have them for that exact reason. It was our grandfather who secretly gave them to us, as gifts from his “childhood”. He isn’t allowed near the family anymore. He also has a fake eye. We’re a pretty daft family.)

Disciplined At A Stroke

, , , , , | Working | August 24, 2017

(It’s summer at the theater, and we’ve easily got over a hundred people in line for concessions at any point during seating. Fortunately, we’ve got about an hour between rushes to clean and restock, so it’s less stressful than it sounds. However…)

Coworker: *looks up from sweeping behind the stand* “Hey, [My Name], how long’s that woman been in the lobby?”

Me: *looks up from restocking candy to see an older woman walking around and looking at our trailers, frowning a little* “Not sure. Maybe she came in from the mall and is just looking around. I’ll ask.”

(I come out from behind the counter, and the woman doesn’t notice me right away.)

Me: “Pardon me, ma’am. Is there something I can help you with?”

Woman: “Oh! Don’t mind me, I’m here for the next showing of [Film that’s decades old]. How much longer is it?”

Me: “Please have a seat while I go check the box office.” *I flag my coworker who comes to help seat her, then I quickly run over to the box office* “Did we have a visit from [Retirement Community] scheduled?”

Cashier: “No, why?”

Me: “Call the manager. We may have a problem.” *I return to the lobby* “Ma’am, I’m sorry, we’re not showing that movie. Is there someone you can call?”

Woman: “Oh, yes, my daughter dropped me off. Her cell number is [rattles off over fifteen digits]. Thank you.” *I exchange glances with my coworker, who pulls out a notepad*

Coworker: “I’m sorry, you caught us a little unprepared. What was that number again?”

Woman: “Oh, I don’t mind, you’re such sweeties.” *rattles off a different set of numbers*

Me: “Thanks, ma’am, we’ll put in a call. Just a moment.”

(My coworker and I step aside as the manager approaches. The woman watches the trailers again.)

Manager: *once caught up* “So?”

Coworker: “I’m only a few months into pre-med, but this sounds bad.”

Manager: “Not our problem. See if you can get her out of here.”

Coworker: *appalled* “Sir, this could be a stroke. We should call her an ambulance.”

Manager: “And if it’s not, we get charged for a fake call! No, get her out of here on your own.”

Me: “Bill me.” *calls 911*

(My manager drew me up disciplinary measures while my coworker assisted the woman. I described the situation before handing the phone over to my coworker, who started taking instructions from their on-call nurse. After a few minutes, the ambulance arrived and checked her in, all before the new rush. While I wasn’t fired for this action, it did prevent my promotion to manager, while the manager responsible got transferred. The woman’s daughter eventually showed up to reassure us she was fine and getting treatment.)

If Only He Could Hear Himself

, , , , | Right | August 23, 2017

(I have “Deaf friendly” on my nametag. After a customer, who is maybe in his fifties, and I have an ENTIRELY VERBAL conversation, at the end of the transaction he stops me directly in the middle of my “have a good day,” and we engage in the following:)

Me: “Okay, have a good da—”

Man: “Can you hear me?”

Me: “Wh… what?”

Man: “CAN YOU HEAR ME WHEN I AM SPEAKING? DO YOU HEAR ME TALKING RIGHT NOW?”

Me: “What?! I can hear you, yeah…”

Man: “You’re not deaf?”

Me: “What?”

Man: “ARE YOU DEAF?”

Me: “Uh, no, I’m hearing. I can hear you right now.”

Man: “But your nametag says ‘DEAF friendly.’ You’re not deaf?”

Me: “No, I know ASL and am also an interpreting student.”

Man: “Well, that’s not right; you should specify you’re hearing. That way people won’t think you’re a… deaf person.”

Me: “I’m confused, I’m sorry.”

Man: “You should write ‘hearing’ on your nametag so people don’t misunderstand your confusing nametag.”

Me: “So you want me to publicly announce my hearing status on my nametag, rather than have me keep my current one, which indicates I can communicate in another language if needed?”

Man: “Well… I don’t know. So you’re NOT deaf, right?”

Me: No, sir.”

Man: “Ok, see ya!”

(This… this is a horror story to put in the books. He was rude about it and was serious about my nametag suggestion… Too funny to NOT share!)

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