(While waiting at the doctor’s office, I overhear a conversation between a four-year-old girl, her mom, and her aunt. The mom is filling out an intake form for the little girl, chuckling at some of the questions.)

Mom: “Do you have a headache? It’s important to tell the truth, because the doctor needs to know.”

Girl: “Yes. No. Yes. Yes, I do. No.”

Mom: “Okay, are you pregnant?”

Girl: “Nooooooo.”

Aunt: *laughs* “I bet she doesn’t even know what that means.”

Mom: “Tell your aunt what you have to do to become pregnant.”

Girl: *raises her hand and counts off with her fingers* “Go to school! Get a job! Get married! Have lots of babies!”

Mom: “See, I told you she knows.”

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(I’ve just been in an accident. While I haven’t been seriously injured, I’m badly shaken and have been told to take a couple of days off work. I call in before getting stitches.)

Me: “Hey, it’s [My Name]. I won’t be able to come in tomorrow or the next day.”

Manager: “Why? Is everything okay?”

Me: “I’ve just been in an accident. They told me to take the next two days off to recover.”

Manager: “Let me look…”

(I hear her typing a bit.)

Manager: “[My Name], you aren’t scheduled for the next two days.”

Me: “Wait, really?”

Manager: “Yep, your next shift is [date].”

Me: “Okay. Thank you.”

(The nurse gives me a look.)

Nurse: “Everything okay?”

Me: “Yeah, I apparently called out for my days off.”

(I’m a manager at a pet store and we do allow people to bring their pets into the store. However, we do have stipulations.)

Me: *answering phone* “Hello, [Pet Store], how may I help you?”

Caller: “My puppy has fleas; can you help?”

Me: “I think we can; we have many items to help with fleas. Can I ask you about your puppy?”

(He goes on to explain about his puppy, and it’s obvious over the phone he’s got a bad flea problem.)

Me: “I can help you right away if you come to the store. Just ask for me.”

Caller: “Okay, I’ll be right there. Is it okay if I bring my puppy?”

Me: “Sir, while we do allow pets in the store, I’m going to ask that you do not bring your puppy, because we do not want our other guests to get infested.”

Caller: “Okay, I understand. I’ll be there in about ten minutes.”

(Sure enough, about ten minutes later a man shows up, but he does have his puppy with him and it is literally covered head to toe in fleas.)

Me: “Sir, aren’t you the man I just spoke with on the phone? Didn’t I ask you not to bring your puppy?”

Caller: “Yes, but I wanted you to see just how bad it was!”

(I managed to get him to take his puppy outside. He was actually a very nice customer and very happy to have me help him out, and eventually, he did see why he shouldn’t have brought his dog into the store.)

(I am stocking shelves at a pharmacy. An elderly gentleman, at least in his 70s, walks up to me and looks at my nametag.)

Customer: “Mister [My Name], yes, I was wondering if you could open up a register for me?”

(I look at the cashier stands. Two are operating, and the lines are not busy at all.)

Me: “The wait shouldn’t be very long. Is there a problem?”

Customer: “I really just need you to open a register for me, please.”

Me: *very confused* “I assure you, the ladies running the registers right now are competent and will have you out the door in no time.”

Customer: “That’s just it. They are ladies…”

(He turns to me and exposes the large box of condoms he has secreted in his jacket.)

Customer: “I wouldn’t be so brazen!”

Me: “Right this way, sir.”

(While working in my department, I overhear an elderly woman complaining to her son.)

Woman: “I honestly don’t understand how these people nowadays don’t have common sense. When I ask for Tylenol, they should know I mean acetaminophen and direct me to the generic stuff. What kind of level of stupidity is our nation stooping to?”

This story is part of the Overheard roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

10 Strange Stories About Customer Conspiracy Theorists

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