(My university dining hall posts allergen information for the most common allergens. Unfortunately, some of us have less common allergies and the listed allergens aren’t enough, so I’ve learned to ask about ingredients.)

Me: “Hi. Could you tell me what vegetables are in the vegetable pot pie?”

Employee: “What does the sign say?”

Me: “It says, ‘Vegetable pot pie,’ so it doesn’t say what vegetables are in it.”

Employee: “I would assume it’s just vegetables.”

Me: “That doesn’t answer my question. There are many different vegetables. Some of them I can eat; others I can’t.”

Employee: *shrug*

(I ended up not risking it. But, seriously? This is not a weird question.)

(A customer has ordered a meal without onions, citing an onion allergy. Following procedures, everything that will be involved in the customer’s meal has been sanitised. Due to this, her meal taking a little longer than usual. The customer waits silently for a couple of minutes before coming up to the counter.)

Customer: “Excuse me, what is taking so long? I have a meeting in 20 minutes. I’m very busy!” 

Me: “I’m sorry about the wait. We’re making sure our utensils and surfaces are free of allergens.”

Customer: “What?” 

Me: “Your allergy. You were the lady who said you were allergic to onions?”

Customer: “I just said that to feel special. Can I get a refund? This is taking too long.” 

(As she finishes talking, the duty manager slams her food down on the table.)

Customer: “Oh, thank you… Can I get a discount?” 

Manager: “No. Get out!”

(The customer looks absolutely shocked and leaves, muttering about why we were so rude to her.)

Manager: “It’s b****es like her that put my son’s life at risk. If she comes back, you have my permission to throw every last onion we have at her.” *storms off*

(I am one of few girls who work at my depot, and sometimes my male coworkers like to tease me. It’s all in good fun, and I give as good as I get. On this particular day, I am the only girl working.)

Customer: “You go, girl! Stand up to those bullying guys!”

Me: “Oh, you bet. It’s hard being the only girl sometimes, y’know?” *obviously joking*

Customer: “You know what you should do?”

Me: “What, sir?”

Customer: “You should get them really drunk, wait until they fall asleep…” *dramatic pause*

Me: “…and?”

Customer: “Nail their foreskins to the floor!”

Me: “Umm…”

Customer: “Trust me; it’ll work!”

Me: “Ha… hahaha.”

Customer: “Nah, I’m just joking with you… or am I?” *leaves*

(A few minutes later, my coworker comes up to me and asks why I look so horrified. I tell him what happened, and he responds with:)

Coworker: “So, would that make them floorskins?”

(A customer comes over to me. He’s deaf and I don’t sign, so we talk by writing on a notepad. My manager watches, and as I help them find their items and check out, we don’t speak a word, for obvious reasons. After they leave, he comes over.)

Manager: “Wow, did he piss you off? You didn’t say a word!”

Me: “He’s deaf. Talking wouldn’t have done anything for him.”

Manager: “Oh.”

I’ve been at my current office for coming up two years now and I like the environment. I suffer from dyslexia but have purchased a dyslexic-friendly font, a font converter, and a specific reader so my disability is barely noticeable as I work.

The only annoyance I really suffer is one coworker who prints out everything she emails me and puts it on my desk. I have hit close to twenty times telling her that I have great difficulty reading normal font on normal paper. I have shown her her email in my reader, too, so that she can see I have it. I have sent her the font so that she could print what she wants me to have in a text I can read, but nothing. 

Today, I picked up the sheet as she put it on my desk and dropped it straight into the recycle bin behind me, barely breaking eye contact as I did. She was shocked and annoyed, but I told her that that’s what would happen to every sheet of paper she put on my desk from now on.

I can’t wait to see what happens when I get my next email from her.