It’s April, in the middle of the health crisis. My air conditioner went out over the weekend, so Monday morning, the repairman is here to work on it for me. When I answer the door, he’s wearing rubber gloves, which strikes me as a nice gesture, though he isn’t wearing a mask. He works on the unit for a while, finds the problem, and calls another employee to make the run from the warehouse to my place with the part he needs while he has lunch in his truck.

Eventually, the other employee arrives, and some time later, the repairman comes back inside. What’s odd is that when he comes back, he’s now wearing a bandana over his face, but no gloves! He goes to work on the AC, gets it finished and working, and then goes out to the truck to write up the bill.

This time, when he comes back, he has no gloves and no mask at all.

After he left, I got a routine call from the company to ask my opinion of the service I received, and they included a question about whether the repairman had been “using both a mask and gloves to protect your health.” I said I honestly didn’t know how to answer that, because he’d used both a mask and gloves, but not at the same time and not for the whole visit!

While in line at a store, I overhear the lady behind me talking on the phone to who I think is her husband. 

Lady: “No, do not let them get vaccines! Why?! Because I don’t want our kids to have Down Syndrome; I don’t want to pay for that! Just refuse it!”

I’m more than curious so I interrupt the conversation.

Me: “Ma’am, did I just hear that right?!”

Lady: *Misunderstands my tone* “Oh, yeah, vaccines can give your kids Down Syndrome; I read it in an article!” *looks at me* “Make sure you don’t get your kids vaccines. It’s dangerous!”

Me: “Uh, no, it won’t.”

Lady: “Yes, it will! I know these things. My magazine doesn’t lie!”

A lot of people are now listening in.

Me: “Okay, lady, I don’t know what you’re reading, but basic knowledge says it’s impossible. You can’t create another separate chromosome from dead viruses. There is no way your kids can get Down Syndrome.”

Lady: “YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT! YOU’RE JUST A KID! YOU PROBABLY HAVE DOWN SYNDROME YOURSELF! WHY AM I TALKING TO PEOPLE LIKE YOU?!”

I don’t even notice the manager behind her, fuming. He then taps her on the shoulder and she turns around.

Manager: “If you believe that for one second, you need to get out of my store. I’m actually going through college to better understand these kinds of diseases. You wanna know why? Because my daughter has Down Syndrome and she is the best thing to happen to me. And I can sure as h*** tell you he doesn’t have it. Now get out of my store.”

My friend works as a carpenter. He builds patios for people and cuts everything on site. A customer insists on making conversation as my friend is cutting the wood. My friend responds occasionally to be polite but hopes the client takes the hint because he really shouldn’t be distracted.

Finally, my friend looks at the client as he’s addressing him and accidentally saws off the tip of his index finger. He shuts off the saw, still in shock. Both my friend and client stand still in shock for a minute or two.

Client: “Uh… Do you need a bandaid?”

Friend: “No… I need you to call the ambulance.”

Client: *After a minute* “Okay! I think I have a bandaid in the house!”

Friend: “Call. The. Ambulance!”

Client: “I’ll get you a bandaid!”

The client ran back into the house. My friend ended up calling for an ambulance himself. Luckily, they managed to save the finger and reattach it. He’s now a chef and runs his own restaurant.

A customer enters her local grocery store, notes all of the changes that have been made recently to keep customers and staff safe due to the health crisis, and follows all of the guidelines. After paying for her purchases, she tells the cashier:

Customer #1: “I just want to say that you guys are doing a wonderful job. I know this can’t be easy.”

The cashier beams and thanks her.

[Customer #2] enters the same grocery store to look for yeast. She is unable to find any, since it has become a hot commodity, so she wants to leave the store. She discovers that doing so without actually going through the checkout is extremely difficult, due to many of the usual egresses being blocked.

In her confusion, she goes the wrong way down an aisle. In other words, the aisle has clear “WALK IN THIS DIRECTION” arrows on the floor, and she forgets to check them. Another customer barks at her.

Other Customer: “You’re going the wrong way!”

[Customer #2] yelps in distress, almost in tears:

Customer #2: “I’m just trying to GET OUT OF HERE!”

An employee comes along and helps her out of the store. She practically runs out the door, face burning.

Reader, both of those customers were me. I wish I could say that I’m sorry to the people who witnessed the second situation!

We are currently in the middle of Big Viral Outbreak 2020, and my office is one of the few still open and “fully” functional — in quotes because there’s always someone out in quarantine, folks working from home, cubicles emptied and rearranged for social distancing, etc.

We’ve got an overall open floor plan with low, glass cubicle walls, and during slow periods in the afternoon, there’s a bit of chatting. During one such time, this gem occurs.

Coworker #1: “Yeah, my hands have just been so dry and itchy lately.”

Coworker #2: “I know! Just constantly washing my hands and everything, it’s terrible.”

Coworker #1: “Oh, I can’t get up and wash my hands every ten minutes, so I’ve just been using these disinfecting wipes.”

Me: “Wait, what? Which wipes?”

She holds up a pack of disinfecting wipes. A mixture of laughter and shocked noises erupts.

Coworker #3: “Well, that could be why your hands are so messed up!”

Coworker #1: “What?! It’s just sanitizer, like Purell!”

Me: “No, it’s bleach. Congratulations, you’ve melted your skin!”

We finally got her convinced that “hand sanitizer” and “surface disinfectant” were different things, and not to use bleach wipes on her hands.