I am on the headset at a fast food restaurant when a customer comes in with her bag of food, looking very angry.

Me: “May I help you?”

Customer: “Yes. I just came through the drive-thru and got these fries and they gave me food poisoning. I’d like to talk to your manager.”

Me: “Of course, let me go get him.”

I get the manager and he follows me to the front counter.

Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “You need to throw out that whole bag of fries. They gave me food poisoning.”

Manager: “When did you get the fries?”

Customer: “Twenty minutes ago. I want my money back.”

Manager: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I assure you that our fries are fine.”

Customer: “So why am I sick, then? Are you saying that I’m not sick?”

Manager: “Okay. May I see your receipt?”

The customer hands him the receipt.

Manager: “You got the fries with a discount card. They were free.”

Customer: “I want the money back for my sandwich.”

Manager: “What’s wrong with the sandwich?”

Customer: “After being food poisoned by the fries, it spoiled my appetite.”

The manager finally gives in and gives the customer her money back. She then orders another sandwich and stands at the front counter while she quickly eats it.

Other Employee: “May I help you?”

Customer: “I’m just going to stand here and finish my food to make sure I don’t get food poisoning again.”

Related:
Their Scam Is Small Fry

Masks are mandatory in my entire state. This particular grocery store that I was at has large, clear signs not only outside the store but throughout the entire store, and they will kick anybody out who tries to walk in without a mask or face covering. But that doesn’t stop people who try to cheat the system.

My daughter and I were at the store shopping and I saw a woman and what could have been her daughter not wearing masks. The older one was holding one in her hands and the younger one didn’t have one at all. As I passed by them, I quietly said, “You ladies need to put your masks back on.”

The older woman launched into a screaming fit about how she had some breathing ailment, and she couldn’t breathe, and I needed to mind my bleeping business.

I said, “Oh, I understand about difficulty breathing; that’s why I have one of these.” I point to my face shield.

You would have thought that I suggested she go eat feces. She turned red in the face and started screaming even louder about how they didn’t have any money, only food stamps, and on and on. I imagine the entire store could hear her rant as she was so loud.

I know how to pick my battles and refuse to fight with unreasonable people, so I just turned away. But as they were walking by, I thought, “Wait, you supposedly have this problem; what about the younger woman?” But I just let it go. 

I did happen to notice the case of beer in her cart; you can’t buy those with food stamps. Seems she had money after all. It’s all a matter of priorities, and caring about her fellow human being is lower on the list for her than beer.

It’s been my observation that those who scream and protest the loudest quite often do not have whatever ailment they claim to have. We didn’t see them again until we were leaving the store and she was screaming and cursing at somebody else. I just shook my d*** head.

It is the mid-1980s and my mum is pregnant with me. She is about to take her driving test for the second time. Dad has brought her to the test centre and they are waiting for the examiner to arrive.

Eventually, he comes over with some paperwork and practically throws it at Mum.

“And do you have any other disabilities besides being pregnant?” he asks.

Mum is upset; Dad is furious. Not surprisingly, Mum fails her driving test, and she and Dad make an official complaint to the Driving Test Centre about the examiner’s attitude. Dad conveniently mentions that he is a serving police officer and that police driving instructors would never talk to anyone like that, so civilian instructors definitely should not. All the examiners have to undertake retraining following the incident and the rude examiner is moved to another location.

Mum passed her test on her next attempt.

I work in the wellness department of a natural foods store. We often work with customers to sift through our products and help them pick the right ones.

Customer: “Hi. I’m looking for a calcium supplement for my kids. I don’t need anything fancy —  no flavors or anything because they can swallow pills.”

Me: “Wow, aren’t you lucky!”

Most parents have a horrendous time trying to find something their kid will willingly take because most kids can’t swallow pills.

Customer: “Oh, they’re seven and twelve; of course they’re fine.”

Me: “Huh. I couldn’t swallow pills when I was seven.”

Customer: “Well, we’re all a little spoiled. If your parents had made you, you would’ve gotten them down.”

Maybe so, but my parents didn’t abuse me.

Due to the recent health crisis, it is a state law that people have to wear masks in public places like stores or restaurants. It is part of my job to remind guests to wear them. 

Two people walk in — a husband and wife. They get in line and neither of them has a mask on, so I walk up to them. They are both very tall and large, which is intimidating since I am a short, fourteen-year-old girl. 

Me: “Hi. Do you guys happen to have masks with you? If not, I would be happy to get you some!”

Customer: “No, we don’t believe in that.”

Me: “Sorry, but it is the law that you have to wear masks.”

Customer: *Angrily* “No, it’s not!”

Me: “Uh, well, actually, it is.”

Customer: “I’m a policeman! I know the law.”

Me: “Well, it is an order from the governor that—”

The customer cuts me off as he gestures wildly at the other customers.

Customer: “You can trick these idiot bozos into wearing masks, but I’m smarter than that. I’m police; I know that law and you can’t make me!”

Customer’s Wife: “Yeah. And what’s the difference between wearing one if it’s on your chin and not wearing one at all?!”

I didn’t really know what she meant by that last statement, or how to get them to wear masks. So, I told them I was going to get my manager. When I got back, they were both gone.