A Disheartening Way To Treat The Issue

, , , , | Healthy | October 30, 2017

(I have a day off so I wasn’t planning on doing much other than sleeping in. At about 9:30 am I get a call from my dad.)

Dad: “Hey, sweetie, are you doing anything at the moment?”

Me: *lying in bed* “No, not anything important. Whats up?”

Dad: “The coolant hose has come loose on the car again. Could I get you to come pick me up to get some more coolant?”

Me: “Yeah, sure, no problem.”

(I go and get him, chatting about inconsequential things, asking about each others’ weekends. We get the coolant and we are heading back to his car. This happens about half an hour after I pick him up.)

Dad: “Yeah, I wasn’t feeling that great this morning… About an hour ago I started getting chest pain and was thinking I should go to the hospital, but I’m feeling okay now so maybe I should just go home.”

Me: *being sceptical in my head* “Nah, if you were worried, Dad, I’d go up there. I will go with you if you’d like. I’ll stay with you. It can get kinda boring up there by yourself.”

Dad: “Oh, well, only if you’re not doing anything. It might be a good idea.”

Me: “Sure thing; it’s better to be safe than sorry.”

Dad: “Only if you’re sure you’re not doing anything

Me: “I’m sure; I will meet you up there.”

(I follow him up only to find a parking space at the bottom of the hill, so we walk up to the top and get admitted into ED. Long story short, Dad had had a minor heart attack, three in fact, the last one as we were walking up the hill, and he just wanted to go home. I spent five hours with him, him asking me not to tell any family members because he didn’t want to stress them out. Mum nearly had a heart attack herself when she found out, mainly because he waited five hours to tell her! Please, please, people — get it checked out sooner rather than later!)

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A Clumsy Attempt At Dating

, , , , , , | Romantic | October 29, 2017

(My boyfriend and I have only been dating about a month, and I’ve warned him that I am horribly clumsy and he’ll probably spend a lot of time in emergency rooms with me if we end up staying together. Somehow, in the month we’ve been dating, I’ve suddenly become coordinated enough to hide this from him, so he doesn’t believe I’m as klutzy as I claim. We are on a business trip with some colleagues in Salt Lake City when the following happens. We are standing outside a hotel waiting for a cab. It’s early December and the ballroom of the hotel is decorated beautifully for Christmas.)

Me: “Oh, wow! Look at how big that room is, and it’s so pretty!”

Boyfriend: “It really is.”

(He is standing a bit farther down the window, looking in towards the back of the room. I swing my head intensely towards the window to get a better look at the decorations, which results in me SLAMMING my forehead hard enough to bounce off the glass.)

Me: “OWWWW!”

Boyfriend: “WHAT DID YOU JUST DO?!” *starts laughing*

Me: “Those are some very clean windows…”

Boyfriend: “This is what you were talking about it, wasn’t it?”

Me: “I warned you.”

Boyfriend: “This is going to be fun.”

(That was almost three years ago, and we were just recently married. I guess he decided he could handle all my injuries!)

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Drowning In Incompetence

, , , , , , , , , | Working | October 29, 2017

(My family lives just around the corner from the community pool and normally I take my siblings, who are 11 and 12, every day during the summer. Today I’ve hurt my ankle, so Mom decides they’re old enough to go on their own. We get this call about an hour after.)

Mom: “Who’s calling?”

Me: *looks over at the phone* “The pool is… What happened?”

Mom: *answers it and suddenly screams* “WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE NEARLY DROWNED 30 MINUTES AGO?!”

Me: “WHAT?!”

(Mom and I drive to the pool, and when we arrive, my brother runs up to me, crying.)

Me: “Woah, woah! What happened, bub?”

Mom: “What happened?! Why is he crying?!”

Sister: “He can tell you.” *points at lifeguard*

Lifeguard: “Why me!?”


Sister: “[Brother] started drowning, and they refused to help him because they thought he was playing.”

Lifeguard: “He was only playing! He’s f****** r*****ed, anyway!”

Mom: *gets right in his face* “HE’S AUTISTIC!”

Me: “What else?”

Sister: “So, I jumped in, tried to pull him out, but he forced me under and apparently that made them jump in for him. The other one just watched.”

Lifeguard: “It’s not our job!”

Mom: “So, what is she up there for, to look pretty!?”

(They apparently decided to ignore my brother, who is severely autistic and was drowning, then kept him out of the water, with some water in his lungs, with no towel or anything, for 30 minutes before they called us. They didn’t call the hospital, get an ambulance, or give medical treatment. Mom was so upset that when we went to the ER, she had a moment and said to get the lungs out of his water. The lifeguard stayed on, even after we complained. We never went back.)

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Your Reasoning Cuts No Ice With Me

, , , , , , | Working | October 28, 2017

(Thanks to problems with my fillings, I can’t eat or drink really cold substances or I’ll get tremendous aches. I ask for most drinks to be prepared without ice. Most places have no problem with this.)

Me: *giving order* “And could I get a large [Soda], without ice?”

Cashier: *glares at me* “Fine.”

(I’m a bit taken aback by the sudden hostility, but I shrug it off. She finishes the order, then proceeds to fill up the cup halfway with [Soda] before trying to hand it to me.)

Me: “Um, this is only half-full.”

Cashier: *still glaring* “That’s what you get when you remove the ice.”

Me: “No. I paid for a cup of soda without ice. That means I should get a full cup.”

Cashier:No! You’re just trying to get soda for free! Just take it!”

(After she chanted, “Take it!” a couple of times, one of her coworkers came up with the rest of my order, wordlessly pulled the cup out of her hand, filled it up, and handed it off to me. I would have taken it up with the manager, but I was running late. I will note that I haven’t seen her working there when I’ve gone back since.)

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The Lawnmower Man

, , , , , | Friendly | October 27, 2017

(This takes place when I am in grade 12. We have exam blocks for the final week of each term. If you have a subject that has exams — not all subjects do — you have to go to sit it, but all the other days you can stay home. I catch a flu in June, which is winter for us, at the end of the second term. It is quite bad, but I get to spend most of the week at home except for when I have my maths exam. I have to walk to the school to take it, so by the time I get there, I already feel quite sick. In the middle of the exam, however, I have a violent coughing spurt, to the extent that I can barely breathe. You’re only allowed your pencil case and water during the exam, so there is nothing I can do except wait for it to pass. Despite teachers patrolling to ensure no cheating, none bother to help me. After about fifteen minutes of solid coughing and hacking, it subsides and I can get on with the exam. This occurs afterwards.)

Me: *to my best friend* “How do you think it went?”

Friend #1: “I think I did okay, but did you hear that coughing during the exam?”

(I didn’t hear anyone coughing aside from myself.)

Friend #2: “I know! It was so loud! It sounded like a dying lawn mower!”

Me: “…”

Friend #1: *laughs loudly*

Friend #2: *turning to me* “Did you hear it?”

Me: *long pause* “That was me; I have the flu.”

Friend #2: “Oh. Well, you sounded like a dying lawn mower!”

(Both friends started laughing. Thanks for the support, guys. I felt horribly sick, could barely breathe, and nearly passed out, but it’s good to know I sounded like a dying lawn mower.)

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