The Formula For Laziness

, , , | Right | April 3, 2011

Me: “Thank you for calling [store]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Hi. I was wondering if you had [brand] formula?”

Me: “If you hold on, I will go check.”

(I go and check. I come back on the line a few minutes later.)

Me: “Thank you for holding, ma’am. We have the formula. Would you like me to hold some for you?”

Caller: “No, I’m in the parking lot. I just wanted to make sure you had it today before I came in.”


This story is part of our Lazy Customers roundup!

Read the next Lazy Customers roundup story!

Read the Lazy Customers roundup!

1 Thumbs
1,548

Bad Karma Chameleons

, , , , | Right | February 23, 2011

Customer: “Excuse me, why do you sell live crickets?”

Me: “They’re bought as food for Jackson Chameleons, birds, and other animals. They have to be sold live because Jackson Chameleons have poor eyesight and can only see their food if it’s moving.”

Customer: “That’s terrible! So they’re just going to die?”

Me: “Well, chameleons have to eat, too. But it’s okay. It happens so fast that the crickets won’t see it coming.”

Customer: “That’s so cruel! Why doesn’t someone tell them?! If I was going to be eaten, I’d certainly want to know!”


This story is part of the American States roundup!

Want to read the next story? Click here!

Want to read the roundup? Click here!

1 Thumbs
1,820

Winding Down On Dialing Up

, , , , , , | Right | November 19, 2010

Me: “Thank you for contacting technical support. How can I help you?”

Customer: *whispering* “Can you shut my Internet off for four hours?”

Me: “I could disable the port, but may I ask why?”

Customer: *whispering* “My son has been locked in his room since last night and he won’t come out or talk to me. He hasn’t eaten breakfast yet and it’s three pm.”

Me: “I suppose I could; however, you will need to call us to re-enable your connection.”

Customer: “Thank you! I don’t know what he’s doing in there on the computer. It’s been like this since we got your Internet.”

Me: “Your connection has been disabled. Is there anything else I can do for you tonight?”

Customer: “No, thank you. I hope he comes out soon!”


This story is part of the American States roundup!

Want to read the next story? Click here!

Want to read the roundup? Click here!

1 Thumbs
3,079

Cancun, Oahu, Same Difference

, , , , , , | Right | June 5, 2008

(Standing in line behind a tourist, while she is getting rung up.)

Cashier: “Aloha, how are you today?”

Tourist: “Oh, I’m sorry; I don’t speak Spanish. Could you talk in English, please?”

Cashier: “Hello, how are you today?”

Tourist: “Fine. We just flew here from America today.”

(The cashier rings up the tourist’s few items.)

Cashier: “That will be twenty-five dollars and eighty-five cents.”

Tourist: “Do you take American money here? I only have American money. I have not been able to get to the currency exchange yet.”

Cashier: “Ma’am, we are in the United States. We take dollars here.”

Tourist: “Oh, really? You take this money?” *holds up her $20 bill*

Cashier: “Yes, ma’am. Those are dollars, and being a US state we do accept those.”

Tourist: “Well that’s very nice of you to accept foreign money.”

Cashier: *puzzled* “Mahalo. Have a great day!”

Tourist: *under her breath* “I told her I didn’t speak Spanish!”

1 Thumbs
4,435