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So Scary He Lost Three Years

, , , , , , | Right | June 25, 2019

(I’m working at a haunted house selling the tickets upfront. The manager puts me in charge because he has to make a change run. A young woman who looks like she could be twenty or so and her child who looks like he might be five years old are next in line. We have a rule that no child under seven is allowed inside. Signs are put on the door entrance and on the ticket desk that say this. She puts her money on the table and asks for two tickets.)

Me: “Ma’am, we cannot allow children under the age of seven to enter the haunted house.”

Customer: “He’s fine; don’t worry about it.”

Me: “No, that’s the rule: nobody under seven.”

Customer: “FINE, HE’S SEVEN!”

(It’s already been a long day and I really don’t want to get into it, so I just give her the tickets after taking her money. She snatches the tickets and drags her son into the attraction. The walk in the haunted house usually takes about five minutes. After about two minutes, I hear a child scream and cry very loudly in the house. Shortly after, I see the same lady carrying her son out through the entrance, rushing towards me.)

Customer: “What the f*** is wrong with you people?! You made my f****** kid cry in there! I want my money back, and I’m going to sue this godd*** place for traumatizing a four-year-old!”

(Her ignorance has broken through my tolerance level.)

Me: “Lady, I told you nobody under seven years old! You even said he was seven! If anything, I can call CPS on you for dragging a four-year-old in there!”

Customer: “Stupid b****! How dare you talk to me like that?! Where is your manager? I bet your tone will change once I tell them you’re threatening me!”

Me: “My manager is not here. Right now, I’m in charge. I’m not going to argue on an issue that is clearly your fault. Get out, or I can get security to drag you out!”

(After a few minutes of calling me names and screeching about how she was going to bring her baby-daddy to “f*** me up,” our security guard finally came out of the office after watching the cameras and proceeded to escort her out.)


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Customers That Make You Want To Scream

, , , , | Right | October 31, 2018

(I’m a tour guide at a historic house during the day, haunted house at night during Halloween season. I’ve just finished my first tour of the night and am sitting in the guide station when a group comes in.)

Guest: “So, we thought our tour was at 8:30, but it was actually 8:05. What can we do?”

Dispatch: “We’re all booked for tonight, so you can either get caught up to your tour, or you can reschedule for another night.”

Guest: “We’ll get caught up.”

Dispatch: “[My Name], could you catch them up? They’re on [Coworker]’s tour.”

Me: “Of course! Right this way, please.”

(I lead them down a hallway. We have next to no lighting in here, and I’m trying to move quickly and quietly, as there are tours in every room around us. Suddenly, I hear a scream, followed by the rest of the guests I’m escorting screaming. It happens twice more before I realize what’s happening: one of the guests, a man in probably his mid-20s, is screaming randomly to frighten his friends. It’s incredibly disruptive and distracting.)

Me: “Sir, please do not scream like that.”

Guest: “I thought this was supposed to be scary!”

Me: “It’s our job to scare you. Please don’t do that for us.”

(He doesn’t do it again… for a few minutes. Right as we’re heading up the stairs to meet my coworker, he screams again, setting off his friends again.)

Me: “Sir, I need you to stop doing that.”

(I informed my coworker about the new guests I’d brought him and headed back down to the guide station, where I immediately informed the dispatchers about the man’s behavior. When I asked my coworker about it later, my coworker told me that the group was awful, but that there was another employee trailing after the tour, and that helped. According to dispatch, they also later tried to get a refund because they’d missed so much of the tour, even though they still went on it and it was their own fault. They did not get a refund.)


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The Biggest Scare Was In The Line

, , , , , , | Right | August 26, 2018

(My husband and I go to an extremely popular haunted house attraction. We are there on a Saturday and the line is massive. We are queued in front of a group of high-school-aged girls and their boyfriends, doing the typical “pretend to be scared” act to pretty much anything that moves near them. They are obnoxiously loud the entire time, and we are annoyed, but the sights and cast as we wait to be allowed in make it worth it. About 25 minutes into the wait, my husband leans down to peck me on the cheek for a kiss. We turn back towards the line, only for me to immediately get punched hard on the back. I turn to face two of the girls:)

Blonde Brat: “Disgusting! Don’t do that s*** in public.”

Brunette Brat: “No one wants to see whales kiss. F****** disgusting.”

(I don’t say anything and turn back around, but immediately start to cry into my jacket. My husband holds my hand, but the entire time we stand there, they keep loudly complaining and telling us to stop. About ten minutes later, one of the girls walks ahead of me to a security guard and loudly begins to complain.)

Blonde Brat: *pointing to us* “Those two won’t stop f****** making out and groping each other. Can you please kick them out?

(I watch the security guard chuckle, but tell her to get back in line. She glares at us the entire time and her group starts taunting the security guard for “liking fatties.” At this point, I am about to leave, but my husband is really excited for the haunt and I stay. When we are at the front of the line, they let a number of people in, so it isn’t a constant line of people throughout the house. I realize we’ll be stuck in there with the girls, so I am about to back out when the security guard from before stops us in line.)

Security Guard: “Can I please ask you to step out?”

(We did as we were told. The group behind us began to cheer, and then walked forward. I started to cry more, hearing them insult us and act like they won. They entered the foyer to the haunt while we waited. The security guard didn’t speak much, and asked us what happened; we explained our side. He stayed silent, but let us back to the front of the line. We were confused, but happy to be allowed back since we had already paid. When we got into the actual building, we saw that same group in a corner with the security guard from before and an actual police officer. They were being asked to leave for assaulting another customer. The guard smiled and waved at us, as we were pushed through to the haunt.)


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Going Out With You Is A Scream

, , , , , | Romantic | July 7, 2017

(I am at a large amusement park’s annual Halloween festival, where there are plenty of haunted houses to go through. I am waiting in line and see a teenage girl, sitting with her back facing a part of the line and talking in hushed, smiling tones to what I assume is her boyfriend. At many of these haunted houses, there are some “screamsters” who wander up and down the rows of guests and mess with them. One of these screamsters cuts through the line, sits down directly behind the girl and stares at her silently. Her boyfriend notices but does a great job keeping a straight face. After a few minutes, the girl senses something is off and turns around to find herself face to face with a bloodied-up man with a beard carrying a broom. She screams and scrambles to her feet, looking utterly terrified.)

Girl: *to boyfriend* “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Boyfriend: *laughing* “Why WOULD I tell you?”


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This Story Will Haunt You Forever

, , , , , , | Related | June 6, 2017

(One year while my husband’s younger brother, a big guy in his 30s, is down visiting us in Florida, he expresses an interest in going to the Halloween event at a big theme park. Leading up to it, he jeers and laughs and rolls his eyes at how corny all the advertising is and brags about how he’s not scared of anything. We all get along very well and like to joke with and tease one another in a friendly way. I can’t help but notice as we walk up to the first haunted house of the event that he seems a little less braggy that evening. He’s right behind me in line, and, sure enough, he has my shoulders in a death-grip the entire time. This repeats through every house for the night. He never makes a sound, but I can feel him flinching and jumping, even though whenever we come out of a house, he rolls his eyes and laughs at it. The next day, we’re at the hotel bar on resort property and he’s flirting with a woman who seems pretty into him.)

Woman: “So did you go to the Halloween event last night?”

Brother-In-Law: “Yeah. It was fun, but it wasn’t even scary.”

Husband: “You seemed pretty freaked out to me, dude.”

Brother-In-Law: *scoff* “How would you know? I was behind [My Name] all night. I was fine.”

(Wordlessly, I roll up the sleeves of my t-shirt to show my shoulders… where each one has five matching, tiny, fingertip bruises from where he was clinging to me.)

Me: “These are not the marks of a fearless man, sweetheart.”

(He blushed red right up to his hairline, and we all shared a good-natured laugh. I guess the woman he was flirting with thought that was cute, too, so he still got her number. Hopefully, she can protect him from all those ghosties and zombies out there!)


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