Unfiltered Story #153714

, , , | | Unfiltered | June 3, 2019

(I work for a counter fraud department within a large well known insurance company, primarily my job consists of investigating new policies and looking for any signs that might link to fraud, fraud rings, ghostbrokers etc and validating the information on new policies, however sometimes we do take an occasional call from a policy holder who’s file we investigated)

Caller: Hi, my policy was cancelled by you and my new insurer is looking for proof of no claims, I should have 11 years?

Me: Alright let me have a look for you.

(I check his file and notice we confirmed with his last insurer  that he left them with 9 years and was with us for a year so he is entitled to 10)

Me: Okay sir, I can send you an email confirming 10 years no claims discount is that okay?

Caller: No I have 11! I had 9 with [Last insurers name] and have been with you for a whole year so 11!

Me: No sir that would be 10 years no claims discount…

Caller: *In an belittling tone* Please explain to me how you are coming up with this calculation because I did the maths and you owe me 11 years no claims discount!

Me: Certainly sir, well 1 + 1 is 2 yes?

Caller: Yes..

Me: And when you add 1 to another number that number becomes 1 more than it already is yes?

Caller: Yes?…

Me: Therefore 9 + 1 is 10, I’ll send out the email within the next 24hrs.

Caller: Oh, okay.. Uhm.. *Click*

The Clarity Of A New Glasses Proves Nothing When Compared To The Precision Of A Child’s Logic

, , , , , | Related | November 16, 2018

(I’ve been helping a little boy, who’s about three or four, to look at glasses before he goes in for his eye test. He’s more excited by the glasses case, which is quite a cool one that you can open all the way out until the two pieces roll back on themselves 180 degrees and close. We put the case to one side until after his test, but when he comes out, the optician says he doesn’t need glasses.)

Me: “Great news! You’ve got really good eyes; you can see perfectly, so you don’t even need glasses.”

Boy: “Okay!”

(He seems quite happy with the praise, and finishing up goes smoothly, until he spots the case on the side.)

Boy: “Oh!” *points* “My toy!”

Mum: “You don’t need it; you’re not getting glasses.”

Boy: *starts to cry* “Want it.”

Mum: “You can’t have it unless you have glasses; it’s a glasses case and you don’t have glasses to go in it. You can have it next time if the optician gives you glasses then.”

(He slumps down in his pushchair and starts to cry, but his mum says to just ignore him while he calms down and we finish up the paperwork. I don’t think anything else of it until about an hour later when the same mum marches her son back into the opticians.)

Mum: “Right, tell the lady what you did. Show her! [Boy], right now.

(From under his jacket he pulls out the same glasses case, and looks up at me sadly. He must have grabbed the same type of case from the display when we weren’t looking.)

Me: “Oh, but Mummy told you that you couldn’t have it. You don’t need glasses. You shouldn’t take things when people say no; it’s naughty.”

Mum: “No, open it up and show the lady.”

(He opens the case; inside are a pair of sample frames from the display.)

Boy: “You said I needed glasses, so I got glasses…”

(It took everything I had to keep a straight face and explain to him what we had meant. His mum was so angry — mostly out of embarrassment — but it seemed a classic case of kid logic to me!)

Getting All Melon-cholic

, , , , | Right | November 21, 2017

(Where I work, we have some of our produce cut in half and plastic-wrapped to display the freshness we guarantee for our produce. They have stickers on them that say they are for display only and not for sale. This doesn’t stop people from trying to buy them, though. Most of the time, we explain things to them, they nod, and we put the items back. A lady comes up to the service desk to complain about this.)

Customer: “They said I couldn’t buy this one.”

Me: “Yep, sorry about that. It’s a display only.”

Customer: “So, I have to buy this watermelon.” *she gestures to the whole one in her cart now* “—instead of the one I wanted. That’s ridiculous.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but it’s a display only. It even is marked as such. We can’t sell it.”

Customer: “Why do you have a display mixed in with the stuff for sale, then?”

Me: “Because that’s where we put them?”

Customer: “Well, why don’t you have a display shelf for them?”

Me: “Because we don’t, ma’am. I’m sorry for the confusion.”

(She buys a whole watermelon. We do sell watermelon cut in half, but they’re sold by the pound, and tend to run higher than a whole watermelon, so it’s cheaper to just buy a whole one and throw out whatever you don’t use.)

Me: “Have a nice day, ma’am.”

Customer: *huffs* “Well, you have a nice day, too, because you’ve foiled mine.”

Me: *speechless*

Customer: “You tell your manager this is ridiculous!”

(She leaves, and the gentleman behind her comes up.)

Me: “I’m so sorry to do this, sir, but please just give me five seconds to process all of that and re-cuperate.”