He Is The Way, And You’re In Mine

, , , , , | Right | November 16, 2017

(I am a teenage girl working at a popular restaurant in downtown. Nearby, there is a Baptist church. People regularly come to the restaurant straight after church, which is the one of the reasons why it is so popular in the first place. A woman enters and immediately comes to the front of the line.)

Customer: “I am starving! I just came from church and the service took super long. Let me go in front of these other people. They are not as f****** hungry as I am!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we cannot let you go first; these people have been waiting for a very long time. The wait will be approximately 35 minutes. Would you like to reserve a spot in line?”

Customer: “WHAT?! This is unacceptable. Jesus said to us, ‘The first will be last and the last shall be first.’ You should let me in front!”

Me: “I am sorry, but—”

Customer: “NO BUTS! Let me in front, you little b****! I bet you are an atheist! You’re going to Hell!”

Me: *clearly shaken but full of rage* “Ma’am, I understand the irritation, but there is no reason for you to ever treat me like you just did. Jesus also said to treat others as we would like to be treated. How would you like it if someone barged in and cut in line after you had patiently waited? I certainly wouldn’t.”

Customer: *silence*

Me: “If you think that is following what Jesus wants, you are clearly mistaken.”

Customer: “Fine! I’ll go to [Competitor]! Little b****!”

Me: “Please do so, and good luck being a Christian! And by the way, I don’t think I’m going to Hell anytime soon. I’m Catholic.”

Customer: *storms out*

(Everyone in the restaurant cheered for me and one gentleman bought me some cannoli!)

This Client Is Very Labor Intensive

, , , , , , , | Working | October 27, 2017

(My boss is not in the office, as his wife has gone into labor. He has asked us to let any clients know where he is and has put up an out-of-office message for his emails and his voicemail, but he is still receiving many calls from clients. He has included my number in his email, as I am his assistant and can help to direct his calls to another coworker, assist the client, or simply take a message for when he returns. One of his clients has been known to be very demanding and a bit out of touch with reality. This very client is the one who, to no surprise, causes quite the fuss over all this. He calls me and begins demanding to talk to my boss.)

Client: “I have been trying to reach [Boss] all day, but he is not responding. I need him to call me right away.”

Me: “I’m sorry. [Boss] is not in today. His wife is having a baby, so he is currently with her, and will be out for the next two weeks.”

Client: “I don’t care about that! I need him more!”

Me: “I would be happy to help you with any requests. We also have [Other Coworker with whom this client has worked with before] available to help.”

Client: “[Boss] is the only one who understands. I will only talk to him. Go get him for me and tell him I need him.”

Me: “I’m sorry. I can’t do that.”

Client: “I don’t want to have to tell [Boss] how lazy and unhelpful you are.”

Me: “Sir, forgive me for being blunt, but I cannot and will not be getting [Boss] for you, as he is currently in the hospital with his wife, who is currently in labor.”

Client: “Well, he can’t do much there, anyway, can he? She’s doing all the work. I’ll call [Other Coworker]; he’ll get [Boss] for me, I know it.”

(That coworker also refused to get [Boss], and gave the client quite an earful when the client quite literally told him to “go down to the hospital and drag him out by the ear if you have to.”)

The Alarm Tag Wasn’t Designed For This Alarming Situation

, , , , , | Right | October 11, 2017

(I work in a big retail store. Our clothes have those annoying plastic tags on them that require a cashier to slide them into a magnetic setup at the registers to remove them. This happens one day as I am working the returns counter, and an elderly woman approaches me.)

Customer: “I bought pants here, and they didn’t remove that alarm tag. Can you do that?”

Me: “Oh, I’m so sorry about that.”

(I see that she has no shopping bag, but I think perhaps they are in her car or purse.)

Me: “I can take care of that for you right here. It is store policy that I ask to see a receipt before removing any tags, though.”

(The woman places her purse on the counter and takes the receipt out. I can see there is, indeed, a pair of pants on her receipt.)

Me: “Okay, I can see the pants here on the receipt, so if you want to go ahead and bring them in I can certainly take care of that for you.”

Customer: “Perfect! Where should I stand? Should I sit up here?” *gestures to my counter*

Me: “Pardon?

(The woman then lifts up her leg a bit, and I can very clearly see the nub of the tag on the seam of her pants, near the hem.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but I can’t remove the tag with them still on you. That’s quite impossible with our setup.”

Customer: “You mean I need to take them off?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. I’m sorry. I have no way to remove that tag while you are wearing them. You would have to come back with them not on so I can take off that tag.”

Customer: “Okay, then.”

(She steps back, and I assume she is going to leave and come back, when, I kid you not, this woman then proceeds to unzip her pants and starts to remove them.)

Me: “Ma’am? I’m sorry, what are you doing?”

Customer: “You said you can’t get it off while I’m wearing them. What does it look like I’m doing?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t have you do that, here, in the middle of the store.”

(I begin looking around now because there is a line behind her, and I am nervous that at any point my manager will come around, and that I will somehow be blamed for this woman trying to strip down.)

Customer: “Well, how the f*** are you going to get it off?”

Me: “You will have to come back on another day with them not on?”

Customer: “That’s a waste of my time! I came all the way here, just to find out you can’t take this tag off! You deserve to be fired for lying to the elderly!”

(She stormed off. I saw her again a week later, wearing the same pants, with the same alarm tag still on.)