This Sweet Child O’ Mine Knows His Stuff

, , , , , , | Friendly | April 17, 2019

(Some coworkers and I decide to eat out during our lunch break. One of them is showing off some vacation photos on his phone.)

Coworker: “This photo we took at Dunluce Castle. This is the same place Led Zeppelin took a picture for one of their albums.”

(One of my older coworkers turns to another one, who is in his mid-20s. )

Older Coworker: “You see, Led Zeppelin was this rock band that started up in the 60s. We’re not talking about blimps made out of lead.”

Younger Coworker: “Really? Next thing, you’re going to tell me that Pink Floyd isn’t actually a person.”

Older Coworker: *pause* “Ooh, I didn’t expect that pull.”

(The older coworker didn’t try to tease the younger coworker over generational things anymore. In fact, they frequently get together during breaks to talk about music now!)

Unfiltered Story #134578

, , , | Unfiltered | December 24, 2018

I look quite a bit younger than I am. At twenty-five I am the manager of a packaging/shipping store. I am also married.

A customer comes in, spots my wedding ring, and assuming I am a teenager, asks me incredulously “are you married?” Of course I responded “yes” while holding my left hand up.

She got a puzzled look on her face, and asks “So you have children?” (assuming that I must have gotten married “so young” because of an accidental pregnancy). “Nope, my husband and I are waiting a few years before we have children.

I just pleasantly waited on her, and watched her walk out the store looking extremely confused.

Ignoring The Law Doesn’t Mean The Law Ignores You

, , , , , | Legal | November 14, 2018

(My mom and I are enjoying a girls’ day out, going from one store to the next. We hit some traffic so we have to stop. Then, we feel the car lurch forward and hear a thump sound. Mom looks behind us to see another car far too close.)

Mom: “Did she just hit us?”

Me: “I… I think so.”

Mom: “Seriously? And she’s just sitting there?”

(I get out of the car and walk back. The woman watches me intently. I look at the bumpers touching and look at her. She is now waving her hands like she is shooing me away. I point to the point of contact and she mouths, “It’s okay! It’s fine!” I walk back to her passenger window and knock. She looks straight ahead.)

Me: *knock knock* “Hello? Ma’am, could you please roll your window down?”

Woman: *ignores me*

Me: *knock knock knock* “Excuse me, you hit our car. I just want to see if there’s any real damage. Hello?”

Woman: *still ignores me*

(I shrug and take out my phone, taking a few quick photos of our cars and her in the driver’s seat before walking back to capture her license plate. When I do that, the woman gets out of her car.)

Woman: “Get away from my car!”

Me: “I could say the same to you!”

Woman: “Oh, don’t be such a baby. I barely tapped you.”

Me: “So, you admit there was a connection?”

Woman: “What? No! You tricked me! That’s entrapment!”

Me: “I have the photos I need to file a claim. If you don’t give me your insurance info, I’ll be forced to contact the police and report you for fleeing the scene.”

Woman: “This is ridiculous. There’s no damage!”

Me: “If you’re sure, back up your car so we can see.”

Woman: “No! I don’t have to do anything! You’re harassing me!”

(My mom has a few feet of space in front of her, so she moves forward. Sure enough, there is a softball-sized dent in her bumper.)

Woman: “Oh, my God. You can pop that out so easily. I’m done. I’m just done.”

(With that, she gets back in her car and goes back to ignoring me. I tell Mom to pull over to the side of the road, as traffic is starting to move up ahead. As soon as she has space, the woman darts out of line and flies down the shoulder.)

Mom: “What is she doing?!”

Me: “Leaving. She says she’s not at fault.”

Mom: *stunned* “Seriously?”

Me: “She kept ignoring me, too, like I’d just go away. But I got her info. We can file a claim.”

(We called the local police and explained what happened. The officer on scene looked at me in disbelief and rolled his eyes. After much back and forth between insurance companies, her insurance paid for a new bumper and she was charged with leaving the scene.)

I “Haven’t” Got Anything Nice To Say

, , , , , , | Learning | June 14, 2018

(I am meeting with my advisor to discuss scheduling my first classes. I was enrolled at another college a few years prior to this for a different major, but decided to move back home and switch to a medical field. On my way to the campus, there is a traffic jam due to an accident. I call my advisor’s office and leave a voicemail explaining my tardiness and apologizing. I arrive ten minutes late and rush in, still apologizing to the secretary. She smiles and asks if I’d like a seat and some water. Before I can answer, I hear a cough behind me. My advisor sticks his head out of his office.)

Advisor: “[My Name]?”

Me: “Yes. Yes, I’m so sorry. There was an accident and I—”

Advisor: “Late is late.”

Me: “Oh. Okay. I left a voicemail for you—”

Advisor: “I don’t care.”

Me: “Okay… Can we still meet or should I reschedule?”

Advisor: *long pause* “I can run through your curriculum with you this time, but next time, leave earlier.”

Me: “Okay.”

(Throughout the entire meeting, I get the feeling he simply doesn’t like me. He asks questions and doesn’t wait for an answer, and he assumes I know nothing about college or how classes work, basically implying that I’m an idiot. He actually makes a phone call, not related to our meeting, when I am mid-sentence! Finally, this happens:)

Advisor: “There are links here at the bottom of this page. They cover studies you should be familiar with before your first class. Have you followed them?”

Me: “No, I haven’t seen them, but I will tonight.”

Advisor: “Excuse me?”

Me: “I’ll watch them tonight.”

Advisor: “No. What did you say, exactly?”

Me: “Uh, I think I said—” *repeats*

Advisor: *stares at me* “Proper grammar is very important.”

Me: “What did I say?”

Advisor: “You don’t say, ‘haven’t seen.’ It’s improper.”

Me: “With all due respect, sir, I’m pretty sure ‘haven’t seen’ is correct.”

Advisor: “…”

Me: “…”

Advisor: “Get out.”

Me: “What? Why?”

Advisor: “I will not waste my time with someone who thinks they know more than me.”

Me: “I wasn’t trying to say that.”

Advisor: “Leave. Now.”

(I left and immediately went home to my husband, angry, confused, and on the verge of tears. He encouraged me to write a letter to the head of the department and the Dean. I did, and they both agreed that my advisor was out of line. I switched advisors and went on to get my degree. I haven’t seen him since.)

Like Stealing Candy From A Cry-Baby

, , , , , | Right | February 6, 2018

(I work in the pro shop at a local golf course. Recently, there have been some large crows hanging around the parking area that will snatch candy, crackers, or chips right out of a golf cart if they have the opportunity.)

Customer: *storms into the pro shop* “That crow stole my candy bar out of the golf cart! I want another candy bar!”

Me: “No problem. That will be $1.00.”

Customer: “What? No! I want you to give me another candy bar free, because that crow took it out of your golf cart!”

Me: “Sorry, sir, but it’s not our responsibility what nature does to your food.”

Customer: *now almost screaming* “That’s wrong. It was a crow on your property!”

Me: “Sir, we have no control over what a bird does outside of our building.”

Customer: “That’s bulls***. I’m just going to take another candy bar!” *picks up one and starts walking toward the door*

Me: “Sir, you must pay for that candy bar; if you walk out without paying, I will have to call the police.”

Customer: “No, you won’t.”

Me: “Yes, I will. I have your name, and you gave us your phone number when you made your tee time. The police will find you and arrest you for petty theft.”

Customer: *returns the candy bar to the rack and leaves*

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