Independent From The Closing Times

| Daphne, AL, USA | Right | July 24, 2016

Me: “How may I direct your call?”

Customer: “Yeah, are you guys closing early for Independence Day?”

Me: “We are. We close at eight.”

Customer: “But I don’t know if I can get there in time, and I really need something!”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry, but we close at eight.”

Customer: “But you can stay open for me, right? I spend thousands of dollars there! It’s not like you’re all going to do anything after eight anyway!”

Me: “I’m very sorry, sir, but I still can’t let you in if you get here after the store is closed. No one can.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous. And you can’t make any exceptions?”

Me: “Not unless you’re Johnny Depp.”

Customer: “D****it!”

Not Acting Gent(lemanly)

| London, England, UK | Working | July 14, 2016

(Our store has two staff WCs, one marked for men and one for women, I’m the only girl on shift and I go into the right one to find a male colleague is using it.)

Me: *hastily closing the door* “Lock the door, man!”

(I go downstairs, since he’s taking a long time and my break is up, after a while my colleague comes down.)

Colleague: “Why the h*** did you go in the gents?”

Me: *deadpan* “You weren’t in the gents.”

Colleague: “What?”

(I’m heading up the stairs at this point, he overtakes me, opens the door to the ladies toilet and sees the seat is up, seeing his face, I go to the corner of the stairs and start laughing.)

Supervisor: “What’s up, [My Name]?”

Me: “He didn’t believe me and he’s just proven me right.”

(Sad thing is, this is the second time I’ve endured this.)

So Closed But So Far, Part 2

| OR, USA | Right | June 23, 2016

(Our store closes at 8:00; it is currently 8:05 and the last few customers are at the check-out while the employees get everything ready to close up. I’m out front cleaning up my area when a man approaches.)

Man: “Hey, are you guys closed?”

Me: “Yep, we closed a few minutes ago. Sorry.”

Man: “But I can still shop, right?”

Related:
So Closed But So Far

Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 6

| CA, USA | Right | June 17, 2016

(I’m the ‘new guy’ on my shift. I’ve spent about 45-50 minutes sorting out a long, complicated lighting setup for a customer, retrofitting his house to use ‘can’ lights with LED inserts. The total is going to be pretty high, admittedly, well over two grand. Through the entire transaction he’s been polite, and we’ve been trading jokes. At the end when I ask if there is anything else I can do, while standing next to the mountain of merchandise, he turns to me and this occurs.)

Customer: “So! I get a discount on this. Make it happen.”

Me: “I’m… sorry?”

Customer: “You need to give me a discount on this. I’m buying a lot. I get a discount.”

(Some items ARE discounted by quantity but not a lot of the stuff he is getting.)

Me: “I’m actually not authorized to give anyone-”

Customer: *suddenly getting irate* “Dammit, this is a LOT of merchandise! I need a discount! My electrician gets a discount when he comes here all the time, so I’m getting one, too! Give me my discount!”

(Flustered, I tell them I’ll talk to my department head as I’m pretty sure I have NO authorization to issue discounts. He’s up on a ladder and looks down at the gentlemen in front of their mountain of merchandise.)

Department Head: “Oh, YOU!”

Customer: *bolts like frightened bunny rabbits, tipping over two carts full of merchandise and scattering it everywhere*

Me: “What the h*** was that?”

Department Head: “Oh, he tries that on all the new guys. We won’t sell to him because he’s a scammer. You just had your baptism.”

Related:
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 5
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 4
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability ToDiscount, Part 3

If You Fall You’ll See The Light

| Canada | Working | May 20, 2016

(I move into an apartment on the eighth floor and am looking to put some lighting on the balcony. I figure gazebo net lighting will work the best but am not sure how to hang it from the ceiling of the balcony. I ask an employee.)

Me: “So I want to hang lighting but I can’t drill into the ceiling as it’s a rental. Do you have any sort of adhesive hooks or some other lighting solution I could go with?”

Employee: “Well, you could always hook the lighting to your neighbor’s balcony.”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Employee: “You just reach up and wrap the lighting around the base of the neighbors railing.”

Me: “Uh, I don’t know if they would want me attaching things to their balcony. Also, we don’t have railings; it’s three feet of solid cement and the ceiling is seven feet.”

Employee: “Well, you just climb out and hang it.”

Me: “Did I mention I was on the eighth floor? With the height of the roof and the balcony, I’d have to reach up seven feet after climbing outside of the building 80 feet up. I don’t think that would work or be very safe.”

Employee: “Well, you would need your neighbor’s permission…”

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