Saw The Fire Before The Storm

| Clarksville, IN, USA | Right | October 28, 2016

I’m the dufus in this story.

As I park in front of the hardware store, I notice fire trucks actively working on a small fire inside the store. I get out of my car, thinking “Maybe I can just… ” only to turn around, get back in my car, and drive off thinking, “No, I don’t want to appear on Not Always Right.”

The Writing’s On The Wall With The Squirrels

| NY, USA | Right | September 26, 2016

(The phone rings.)

Me: “[Store]; good evening. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Hello? I need help. There are squirrels in my roof, and I—”

Me: “I am sorry to hear that, ma’am, but we do not offer any services to remove squirrels.”

Customer: “But you don’t understand. I buy everything from your store! Why can’t you help me? I can hear them through the walls!”

Me: “I understand, ma’am, and we appreciate your loyalty as a customer; however, we do not remove squirrels. We are a hardware store.”

Customer: *in tears* “What am I supposed to do? Why won’t you help me? Is there a manager I can speak to?”

(I transfer the call to my manager. 15 minutes later my manager comes up to me.)

Manager: “Did that call really just happen?”

Me: “Yes. Did you help her with the squirrels?”

Manager: *laughing hysterically* “If you ever pass me a call like that again, I’ll fire you!”

Doesn’t Take A Rocket Scientist

| Marion, IL, USA | Right | September 8, 2016

(A woman comes in with young boy, maybe six years old.)

Customer: “Do you have any cardboard you could give me? If you have any rocket ship sized boxes, we’ll take one of those.”

(The boy rolls his eyes.)

Boy: “Grandma!”

(I go into the back and see what I can find, and I come back with about twice what she asked for.)

Me: “The only rocket ship I have left is the size of a refrigerator.”

(Before anyone can say anything else, the boys eyes light up and he shouts.)

Boy: “I’ll take it!”

Customer: “We have no way to get it home; it’s too big.”

Boy: “I’ll ride on top of it and hold it down until we get home!”

(Long story short, today I got to “sell” a little boy the best rocket ship ever, and they’ll be in with a truck to get it. Every once in a while, this job is great.)

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You Cheap What You Sow

| Canada | Right | August 30, 2016

(I work in a small town hardware store with a garden center. There’s a city a few kilometers away that brings in a lot of traffic, especially during the spring and summer months. A woman approaches the cash registers with a daisy plant. There are several stalks on the plant but about two or three of them are broken.)

Customer: “I was in here yesterday and you had some really nice plants like this, but this is the only one left. Can I get a discount because it’s broken and ugly?”

Me: “Well, we don’t usually give discounts on plants, and there’s only a few broken stalks. I’m sure it’s perfectly healthy.”

Customer: “I don’t want to pay $6 for such an ugly plant. I think I’ll just go to [Competitor]. I don’t even think the poor thing’ll survive.”

Me: “I can get [Coworker] over here. She works more in that department and maybe she can work something out.”

(I page my coworker to come to the registers. All the while this lady keeps repeating the same stuff about how she’d get a better deal at [Competitor] and is generally acting like she’s doing us a favor by buying the plant. I should mention that this woman’s voice is like the human version of the caps lock key. She isn’t yelling or anything, but she’s talking unnecessarily loudly, and it’s grating on my ears. My coworker shows up a minute later.)

Coworker: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: “This plant is ugly and broken and I think I should get a discount on it. If I don’t, I’m going to [Competitor].”

(Since we have a reputation for being one of the friendliest stores in the general area, we decide to give her a dollar off. That’s below our cost by about seventy cents and we’d be losing money, but there’s a bit of a line behind her and we just want her to leave.)

Me: “Okay, we talked it over, and we can give the plant to you for $5, but that’s the lowest we can go.”

Customer: “I’ll take it. You wouldn’t be able to sell this thing for full price anyway.”

(She then proceeded to pay for her $5 purchase with a $100 bill.)

Not The Light-Bulb Moment You Were Looking For

| Germany | Working | August 30, 2016

(While in Germany the customer is not always right, it is generally a rule of thumb to be at least nice to people that make mistakes. I am returning to a particular family-owned small hardware shop, because I bought light bulbs that are the wrong size. I have my kids with me, ages 10 and 11, both of them actually pretty calm, and just looking at the display of decorations behind me.)

Me: “I’m sorry, I wanted to exchange those bulbs for another size and—“

Clerk: “We don’t take stuff back if it has been opened!”

Me: “It hasn’t; it is still wrapped in the original foil and—“

Clerk: “We don’t take stuff back without a receipt!”

Me: *sighing internally* “I have the receipt here. I bought those yesterday, and just yesterday afternoon realized I got the wrong size.”

Clerk: “Put them here; I’ll give you your cash back!”

(The clerk proceeds to enter the light bulbs into the till per hand, and I notice that she put in the wrong price.)

Me: “Excuse me, those bulbs rang up as 7.69 Euros, and you put them in as 3.99 Euros.”

Clerk: “I’m putting them in as they are on the receipt!”

Me: “Yes, but the receipt shows them as 7.69 Euros, without any discount…”

(I turn to look at the kids in the background, then turn back to see 7.98 Euros being placed on the counter, plus (and this is important) a receipt for the cash return.)

Clerk: “Your cash return! Now leave!”

(I turn to leave, with my original receipt still firm in hands, and the cash return receipt, too. Finding the fitting bulbs, with the right light, I go to a check out. Asking the cashier if she could get me the shop owner, showing her the original receipt, the cash return receipt, and the new bulbs I wanted to buy. The owner comes, sees those, walks back to the shelf to make sure that I paid the real price, and that the cash return receipt is wrong. Returning with the clerk in tow, the owner asks me what happened. I give him a short summary, and he turns to the clerk.)

Owner: “Did you give this woman the wrong amount of money back?”

Clerk: “Yes, but—“

Owner: “And you entered the amount by hand?”

Clerk: “Yes, but—“

Owner: “That is the third time today you made a customer complain about you being rude, putting in things wrong, and generally being unhelpful! We are a small family company; I can’t afford making customers unhappy!”

Clerk: “BUT IT IS NOT MY JOB TO MAKE THEM HAPPY!”

(The clerk was told to pack all of her things right away; the owner fired her on the spot. He offered me the bulbs for free, but I was too confused to accept… I was busy explaining to my kids that what happened certainly wasn’t normal!)

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