You’ll Pay For That Assumption

| USA | Money

(I’m at the end of a transaction with a woman in her late twenties. A prompt comes up on my register saying the customer gets a rebate for something she bought and it gives a choice of how to send the rebate in: through the mail or online.)

Me: “You have a rebate for the batteries you bought. Would you like to get it through the mail—”

Customer: *cutting me off* “I don’t want it.”

Me: “You don’t want the re—”

Customer:  *cutting me off again* “I don’t want it.”

(At this point I have to make a selection on the screen so she can get her receipt and leave.)

Me: “A rebate means you get money back.”

Customer: “…Oh! I want that.”

Me: “Figured you would.”

This Conversation Plunges To Lower Depths

| Canada | Language & Words

(A customer comes up to my till with a toilet plunger.)

Me: “Hello! How’s your day going?”

Customer: “S***ty. Pun intended.”

Electric Sense Of Humor

| IL, USA | Technology

(I work in the electrical department of a hardware store. I’m a young male with pretty long hair, so sometimes the customers don’t want my help with electrical questions, as they believe me to be too young to know what I’m talking about, even though I also work as an electrician. A middle-aged woman approaches me and impatiently knocks on the desk to get my attention.)

Woman: “I need help with some wiring my husband is doing at home.”

Me: “Sure thing. What exactly did you need help with?”

Woman: “I have some questions.”

Me: “If you’d like to explain the project to me, I’d be happy to answer any of your questions.”

Woman: *looks me up and down* “No, I need someone who knows what they’re doing.”

Me: “I’m certain I can help you if you’d like to explain the problems you’re having.”

Woman: “No, I’d like you to call somebody else over.”

Me: *seeing this is going nowhere, I get on the store intercom* “Guest assistance needed at the electrical desk, please. Guest assistance at the electrical desk.” *to woman* “Someone will be right with you.”

(I go back to reading the Sunday ad while she waits. About 60 seconds later I look up.)

Me: “Hi there, ma’am. You needed some help in electrical?”

(The woman just looked at me in astonishment and stormed away.)