(I am working at a hardware store as a cashier when a customer approaches and asks for my help with a price match. He makes the process as infuriatingly slow and awkward as possible, all the while demanding discounts he doesn’t qualify for from our policies. He leaves for a brief moment, and I check in with a few managers and manage to get him a discount, despite him not actually being allowed to use our price-match policy due to a problem with our competitor’s site at the time.)

Customer: “I demand the extra 10% off; it’s in your policy!”

Me: “Actually, sir, it isn’t.”

(I pull out the policy and read it in its entirety to the customer.)

Me: “So, you see, you can’t get the extra 10%, because the item doesn’t qualify.”

Customer: “That doesn’t apply to me, because I don’t speak English!”

(I froze when he said that, and eventually he left, claiming he would take a picture of our competitor’s sign and get an extra 20% off for it the next time.)

(I work in a hardware shop. Yesterday was a bank holiday. I was working that day, as were the part-timers. A customer sets down his order, but then his phone rings, and he answers it. A new coworker comes and asks me for help finding something. I go and show him. When I come back my customer hangs up.)

Customer: “Sorry about that. It’s Monday morning; what can I say?”

Me: “It’s Tuesday, sir.”

Customer: “Is it really?”

Me: “Yesterday was a bank holiday.”

Customer: “Did you enjoy it?”

Me: “I was here.”

Customer: “Oh. Sorry. The day has already been long.”

Me: “I feel you; it’s like that here today.”

(I process the transaction.)

Customer: “I know it’s Monday, but enjoy the rest of your shift.”

Me: *a little crestfallen* “It’s still Tuesday, but I’ll try.”

(I recently bought a new house and have been doing DIY to fix it up. I realise while fixing things in the bathroom that I need a small plastic component that goes inside the toilet cistern, without which it won’t flush properly. As this is quite urgent — it’s the only toilet in the house — I jump straight into my car and go to the local plumbers’ merchant. When I arrive, the gate into the car park is bolted but not locked. Bear in mind that it is two pm on a Friday, and their posted opening hours are until five pm every day. I unbolt the gate and walk into the store. I begin to hunt for the plastic part that I need when I’m accosted by a staff member.)

Employee: “How did you get in? The gate was locked.”

Me: “Well, no, it wasn’t. It was bolted. Aren’t you open?”

Employee: “No. We are doing stock check.”

Me: “Your posted hours say you’re open until five.”

Employee: “Haven’t you ever heard of stock check?”

Me: “Yes, I have.” *taken aback because he’s being so condescending* “It’s just that most shops do it outside of their opening hours. Can I just get this part, please?”

(He grumbled and sold me the part I need. I got out of there quickly. I think they were trying to get off early on a Friday afternoon!)

(Being both senior staff and full time, I’m on the front of house to watch one of the new guys on tills.)

Customer #1: “I’m looking for a [Brand] toolkit.”

(These kits are £500-£700 apiece, many tend to want one in particular before buying one.)

Me: “Sure, I’ll show you where they are in the catalogue.”

(I go through them and they insist on having two that are in the shop as opposed to ones that we can order in. Previous experience prompts red flags to fly, so I open a till as soon as they get the SKU they want, but another customer asserts that they cut in line so I wind up serving them. My new colleague winds up serving the men I wanted to catch, so I watch.)

New Colleague: “Would you like to register?”

Customer #1: “No.”

Me: “Are you sure? It’ll help you back up those tools for a year.”

Customer #1: “It’s fine. They’re going abroad, anyway.”

(That is a huge red flag for me, because I know that fraudulently obtained goods are often sent abroad, so I watch and sure enough, he’s entering a card number manually while his friend distracts my new colleague.)

Me: *to my customer* “Excuse me a moment, sir.” *to the two men* “I’m sorry, but we must take the PIN number due to the value of your purchase.”

Customer #1: “This card doesn’t have a chip!”

Me: “In that case, you need to use it to purchase online or over the phone. They can do more credit checks than we can. I’m afraid this was a memo handed by head office about six months ago, so my colleague wouldn’t have known about it, but I can’t negotiate on this.”

(The men then walk out.)

Me: *to new colleague* “Cancel the order and serve the next customer, I’ll explain this later.” *to my customer* “I’m sorry; my colleague is new.”

Customer #2: “That’s fine.”

(I quickly serve him and then turn to my new colleague.)

Me: “Just a friendly tip, if someone is entering a number manually into the machine, refuse it and ask for me or a manager if you’re not comfortable, that’s often a sign of attempting fraud and that order was worth £1400.”

New Colleague: “So what do I do now?”

Me: “You stay here; I have to talk to a manager.”

(I found one of our supervisors who took me up with the SKU they attempted to buy. He informed our branch manager and every store in the area!)

(I am looking for a job and decide to try applying at a locally-owned store. Several days after dropping my resume off, I go to check and see if it has been processed yet. I am immediately directed to the office of the owner, who turns out to be in a meeting. I am told to sit and wait, but after 45 minutes I leave, telling the secretary that I will return the next day as I have other things on my schedule I can’t put off. Upon returning, I am again instructed to go to the owner’s office. He proceeds to go into an apoplectic rant about how I “couldn’t wait five minutes despite feeling entitled to barge right in,” along with some talking about how he would have given me an interview “had I had any patience at all.” Since it is obvious I’m not getting the job, anyway, and since by now I am actually feeling relief that I won’t have to work for such an individual, I decide to go ahead and say things one doesn’t normally say in a job interview.)

Me: “I came here yesterday to see if my resume had been processed. The only reason I entered your office yesterday was because that was where I was told to go by your secretary. I was not informed you were occupied at the time, nor did I leave ‘without saying a word.’ But frankly, I’m glad things turned out the way they did, because with the attitude you’ve displayed, working here would obviously be a mistake.”

(I left him sputtering in indignation as I walked out the door.)