Accentuating The Problem

| FL, USA | Working | November 14, 2016

(I recently got a job working at a hardware store. I thoroughly enjoy my new job, and all my coworkers are funny, hardworking and an absolute delight to work with. However, I’m slightly gullible, and try my best to please both customers and my coworkers as I am the youngest and the only female not in a management position, as well as the only one at our store, period. I soon learn that whenever a fellow coworker calls from either home or a sister store, it is nearly a RULE for the caller to prank whoever answers. One day I am mixing paint when the phone rings. It reads as a cellphone number, and I quickly pick it up.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. This is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “…”

Me: “Hello? You have reached [Store]. Can I help you this evening?”

Caller: *thick Indian accent* “Hello?”

Me: “Hello, sir! You’ve reached [Store]. Can I help you with anything?”

Caller: “Yes. You do key lock?”

Me: “I’m sorry? We re-key locks if that is what you mean, sir.”

Caller: “Good. Good. How many?”

Me: *starting to recognize a very familiar undertone and inflection pattern and getting suspicious* “As many as you need, sir.”

Caller: “You re-key lock, yes? Then you re-key mine. Fifty! You re-key fifty?”

Me: “Of course, sir. However, I have a question for you, if you don’t mind me asking.”

Caller: “Ask!”

Me: “Does your name happen to be [Coworker who is off that day]?”

Caller: *laugh, drops the accent* “Hey, [My Name]! How long did you know?”

Me: “You need to figure out a Scottish accent or something other than the same one you use to order us pizza, dude. Or at least learn how to drop the Southern twang when you speak. So whatchya need, mate?”

(It ended up that he was calling to change one of his choices for the weekly football pool we set up. He DID learn how to fake several different accents after that, and it kept us all on our toes.)

The Great Search

, | USA | Right | November 14, 2016

(My friend needs expanding foam, which commonly is under the brand name “Great Stuff.” My friend, however, misunderstands and thinks everyone is just saying how great it is. After seemingly fruitless search for the brand name, he eventually goes to a hardware store to find it:)

Friend: *to employee* “I’m looking for expanding foam.”

Employee: “Oh, yeah, Great Stuff!”

Friend: *yelling* “I ALREADY KNOW IT’S HOW GREAT IT IS! I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHAT IT’S CALLED!”

Employee: “No, no, no. It’s actually called ‘Great Stuff.’”

Friend: “Oh…”

(For the record, it really is great stuff.)

Don’t Whistle While I Work

| OR, USA | Right | November 11, 2016

(I am a stocker at one of the larger hardware, gardening, and DIY type outlets in the state. On this particular summer day I’ve just finished creating a display for lawnmowers when I suddenly hear a shrill whistle from behind me. On instinct I look around and see a middle-aged gentleman looking in my direction, but not at me. Figuring no one in this day and age could still think that trying to whistle to get someone’s attention is good manners, I ignore him… until he walks up to me and whistles again, shrill enough that my ears almost hurt.)

Customer #1: “Boy! You deaf or something? I need service!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I didn’t realize you needed help.”

Customer #1: “What? You dumb as well? Where’s your d*** manager?”

(I call the manager over.)

Customer #1: “What sort of white trash s*** you employing here? I ask for help and this moron just ignores me!”

Me: “Sir, you whistled at me. That could’ve meant anything.”

Customer: “What? No, I didn’t! What kind of crap are you trying to pull to cover your a**?”

(A second customer now comes up.)

Customer #2: “Actually he’s right. I heard you whistle all the way from the end of the aisle.”

Customer #1: “I didn’t whistle!”

Customer #2: “Yes, you did; he and I both heard you!”

Manager: “Sir, with all due respects, my employee is right. If you need help ask for it, don’t whistle. He’s not a dog.”

Customer #1: “What’s everyone going on about whistling and dogs? Do I look like I have a dog?”

Customer #2: “Whether you do or not doesn’t matter. You whistled and I will vouch for this employee that you did it twice!”

Customer #1: “This whole store is staffed and shopped at by a**-holes! F*** you all, I’m going somewhere else!” *storms out*

Should Have Listened To Their Direction

| Australia | Right | November 10, 2016

(I work for a hardware store. It should be noted that there are about ten stores within 50 km of each other. It’s Sunday morning so there are only four staff members on: a middle-aged white man, a tiny Indian girl, myself, who is a dark hair female, and a blonde lady. A customer calls up and I answer.)

Caller: “Hi, can I please talk to someone in special orders?”

Me: “I am awfully sorry, sir, but our special orders girl isn’t—”

Caller: “I wasn’t finished talking. I want to speak to someone in special orders; I was in earlier today.”

Me: “Like I started saying, sir, she’s not in today and there is no one in with the knowledge to help you out at this time. You—”

Caller: “LOOK HERE. I WAS IN EARLIER TODAY AND I SAW HER! SHE WAS SITTING AT THE DESK WITH TWO REDHEADS AND A CROATIAN MAN. TELL THEM TO STOP TALKING AND DO SOME DAMN WORK. NOW, GIVE ME TO ONE OF THEM. NOW!”

(I am taken aback and confused as no such people have worked here ever.)

Me: “Sir, did you come into [Our Store Location]?”

Caller: “Well, obviously.”

Me: “On [Street]?”

Caller: “Um, NO! I KNOW WHERE I WENT! IT WAS ON [Other Street, at least 13 km away].”

Me: “And that would be your problem then, sir. You have called [Store Location on Street] when you actually went to [Other Location on Other Street].”

Caller: “Oh… Well, then. Who’s the d***-head now…” *click*

Saw The Fire Before The Storm

| Clarksville, IN, USA | Right | October 28, 2016

I’m the dufus in this story.

As I park in front of the hardware store, I notice fire trucks actively working on a small fire inside the store. I get out of my car, thinking “Maybe I can just… ” only to turn around, get back in my car, and drive off thinking, “No, I don’t want to appear on Not Always Right.”

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