A Body Of Evidence

, , , , , , | Right | March 20, 2020

(A customer sets a large amount of chains on the counter.)

Customer: “Do you think this is enough to hold down a body?”

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Unfiltered Story #189045

, , | Unfiltered | March 11, 2020

(A coworker, who is relatively new, and I are manning the outdoor registers of the store’s garden center. I had just finished checking out a customer to see another one at my coworker’s register. It is important to note that this store had two different ‘must ask for’ discounts. The first one is 10% for anybody who has some form of military ID, available for any transaction and excludes sale/clearance/discounted/special-order items. The second one, which was discontinued by corporate about 2-3 months prior to this story, was a 5% credit card match with our main competitor, available ONLY when using our store’s line of credit cards.)

Customer: I want my 5% discount for using my [our store] card!

Coworker: Corporate has stopped that promotion, sir.

Customer: What do you mean! This is the first I’ve ever fucking heard of this! I want my 5% off, now!

Coworker: We’re not allowed to do that anymore, your total is [under $50].

(While the coworker is saying this, she is looking at me for some help and I try to step in.)

Customer: Don’t you have something in your goddamn system that allows you to just give it to me!?

Me: (Walking to my coworker’s register) I’m sorry, sir, but corporate has stopped that promotion and have invested in other means. For example, you get four times the return po-

Customer: I’m not going to return this! What good is that going to do me?! It’s not like I’m asking for my fucking military discount, I’m trying to help your profits by only asking for 5%!

Me: I’m sorry, but we are not al-

Customer: Fuck this shit then, I’m going to [competitor] where they’ll take my money then!

Me: Sir, we can still do the mili-

Customer: Fuck you and I hope [our store] goes fucking damn bankrupt!

(After he leaves, I peer over the screen and see why he was wanting to get the 5% off, all that the customer had was items that were on sale and knew that he would only get 10% off of the soda he tacked on at the end. Then, I hear a set of tires squealing in the parking lot to see the customer racing out of the lot. Once he was out of the parking lot, I started to laugh.)

Me: You know what, he’s already got about 40% off of his order through the sale and knew his military discount wouldn’t work, which is why he wanted that 5% off. Though, if he wants to have a fit and use 5% off at [competitor] on full price: that’s on him, not him.

Coworker: (laughing as well) Heck, he’d spend more in gas to go to [competitor] than the 5% would save him plus tax is more than the savings.

(Just then, we noticed a customer who was looking at some plants just outside of the gates, and within earshot, of the exchange just shaking her head)

Customer #2: (Finally approaching us) I was wondering who the hell pissed in his Wheaties this morning, all that yelling and noise over 5%.

That’s A New Line

, , , , | Right | March 10, 2020

(I work at a hardware store. A customer comes in with a white piece of paper, with a line on it from one side to the other side.)

Customer: “I need this item.”

Me: “I’m gonna send you to the service desk and they will get you what you need.”

Coworker: “Do you need a light bulb, plumbing item, electrical parts, a tool?”

Customer: “No, no, no, the item is white.”

(My coworker gets another coworker to try to figure it out.)

Coworker: “Do you need paint?”

Customer: “YES! I need white paint.”

(I facepalmed. What does that line on a piece of paper have to do with paint?!)

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Unfiltered Story #188432

, | Unfiltered | March 8, 2020

(I got told this by a co-worker who was in the middle of serving a customer at the checkouts.)

Customer: Do you work here?

Unfiltered Story #187788

, , | Unfiltered | March 6, 2020

(I am at the hardware store buying supplies for a science project, mostly iron pipe fittings. It’s late and I’m pretty tired.)

Employee: Anything I can help you find?

Me: Nah, just trying to remember what else I wanted.

Employee: Let’s see, you wanted an air conditioner, the new fridge you wanted came in…

(I crack up laughing.)

Employee: …and some new tile… I know your list, man, if you don’t trust me you’re gonna regret it…

(I was chuckling for the whole rest of my visit.)