Check Yourself Before You Self-Checkout

| Peterborough, ON, Canada | Right | May 17, 2017

(I’m at a well-known Canadian hardware/automotive store, in line to use one of the self checkout machines. I watch another customer get through his purchase without a hitch until he goes to pay.)

Machine: “Please select payment method.”

Customer: *presses button*

Machine: “Please use the pin-pad on the right.”

(The main screen shows a large arrow pointing to the right, along with a picture of the pinpad.)

Customer: *tries to jam card into the coin slot*

Customer: *tries to jam card into bill slot*

Customer: *shoves card into receipt slot*

Customer: *tries to scan card*

(He eventually cancelled the entire purchase and went to a regular cashier.)

Unable To Break That Conversational Mould

| ON, Canada | Right | April 28, 2017

(I work as a cashier at a hardware store where moulding is sold either by the piece or by the foot. Customers can cut the pieces sold by the foot to their desired length and pay for only the amount they cut. They cannot do this with the ones that are sold by the piece, as it does not prompt for a length to be entered. This story starts with a customer approaching me with moulding that is sold by the piece.)

Me: “Hi, did you find everything you were looking for today?”

Customer: “I have 10 feet.”

Me: *I scan the item and see that it is only sold by the piece* “Sir, this is sold by the piece, not by the foot.”

Customer: “I have 10 feet.”

Me: “This moulding was 12 feet and is sold by the piece, not the foot.”

Customer: “But I only have 10 feet.”

Me: “I understand, but these are only sold by the piece. I can’t enter in a length. You can grab the other bit if you’d like.”

Customer: “I have 10 feet. I only want 10 feet.”

Me: “You’ll have to pay for 12 feet, then, as this is sold by the piece, not the foot.”

Customer: “I don’t understand why I’d have to do that.”

Me: “You can grab the other bit, but I have to charge you for the full piece as this is not sold by the foot and you have already cut it.”

Customer: “But I only have 10 feet!”

Me: “I understand that, but there is nothing I can do. It scans as a full piece.”

Customer: “But I only have 10 feet!” *gives up and pays*

Me: *face-palms*

Thou Shalt Not Pay Full Price

| CA, USA | Right | February 18, 2017

(I work at a hardware store. I come across a man in an aisle with his head bowed down.)

Me: “Can I help you find anything, sir?”

Customer: “No, thanks. I’m just praying for a coupon.”

Helps The Plants Grow Really High

| ON, Canada | Working | February 6, 2017

(My mom and sister are getting ‘Weed’n’Feed’ for the lawn. They can’t find it at first so they ask an employee.)

Mom: “Where can we find your Weed’n’Feed?”

Female Employee: *condescending* “It’s illegal.”

Mom: *confused* “I just need to know where the Weed’n’Feed is.”

Female Employee: *still condescending* “We don’t sell it here; it’s illegal!”

(They went and looked for it anyways and found a bag of it on their shelf. I guess it’s not illegal enough to stop selling!)

Minimum Wage Means Minimum Understanding

| AB, Canada | Working | February 5, 2017

(I’m looking for a second job to help pay the bills, and a big box hardware store is coming to town. I head to the job fair to try my chances. I fill out the application, I wait for a few minutes, and soon I’m escorted into a room for an interview. The interviewer is an old man who looks like he’s had a very long day. He starts going through my application.)

Interviewer: “Says here you went to university. I’m assuming you dropped out after a year or so because it was too hard, and that’s why you’re here.”

Me: “No. I graduated. I’ve got my degree. I just need a second job to help pay bills.”

Interviewer: “Yeah, right.”

(The interview continues like a typical job interview, until it’s my turn to ask questions.)

Me: “So, what kind of benefits do you offer?”

(The interviewer loses it.)

Interviewer: “I’m SICK and TIRED of you yokels in [My Town] asking that! THIS IS [Hardware Store] AND YOU ARE APPLYING FOR A MINIMUM WAGE JOB! What do you want from us? A pension plan? Healthcare? What does your TINY BRAIN expect for benefits?”

Me: “Mostly I was hoping for was an employee discount.”

(The interviewer was taken aback.)

Interviewer: “Oh. I… don’t know about discounts. I’ll find out.”

(He disappeared for about 10 minutes, and came back to tell me they have a 5% employee discount. Didn’t get the job.)

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