I am greeting customers at the front entrance and notice a customer walk in. I immediately flash a smile and start with the, “Good morning and welcome to—”

This adult man has his hand down the front of his pants. 

It is absolutely the most agonising three seconds of eye contact ever.

He whips his hand out of his pants, hangs his head, and, as he walks past me, mutters, “Sorry, lady.”

Related:
Caught With Their Pants Down, Part 3
Caught With Their Pants Down, Part 2
Caught With Their Pants Down

I’m a petite woman in my twenties shopping in a major hardware store. Although I might not look like it, I have quite a bit of knowledge regarding construction and carpentry, and I actually worked in repair and maintenance in my last job.

Today, I’m looking for a new electronic lock for my front door, and I know exactly the kind I want, but there’s a large ladder in front of the lock kits I’m interested in. It has a huge sign on it saying, “Employees only. Do not touch!” I’m hesitating in front of the ladder, not wanting to be “that customer” and break the rules by moving it. Just then, an older male employee walks up.

Employee: “Can I help you find something?”

Me: “Yes, thanks. I’m interested in the locks behind this ladder, but I can’t reach—”

While I am speaking, the employee easily pushes the ladder one foot to the side so I can get to the locks.

Me: *Laughs* “Thanks! I feel silly for asking for help now since I could have just done that.”

Employee: “You should have done it. I like a pushy woman.”

I give an uncomfortable fake laugh while I try to think of how to respond.

Me: “Umm… I’ll tell my husband you said that.”

Somehow, he is not deterred and launches into a spiel about which lock types are best, while I groan internally. Unfortunately, he is standing between me and the exit, so I can’t just walk off. After listening to several minutes of information I already knew…

Employee: “So, you should really come with me and check out this other lock model that we have on sale, just down the aisle here…”

I really just want to get away, but he spreads his arms out wide and walks toward me as he gestures for me to walk farther down the aisle with him, so I can’t easily sneak past him. I end up following him to the other locks that are on sale. Finally, I see a chance to leave.

I grab the first lock I see off the display.

Me: “Okay, great, this is everything I need. I’m just going to go to the checkout now. Thanks, bye!”

I scurried off towards the checkouts. Before paying for the random lock I’d grabbed, I checked it out and discovered it was a store brand of the same exact thing I had intended to buy, so it actually would work for my door and save me some money. Still not sure if it was worth dealing with Mr. Creepy, though.

I work in a store where you can purchase installation and cleaning services. An elderly woman comes into my office to ask about carpet cleaning.

Me: “All right, ma’am, how many rooms do you need cleaned?”

Customer: “Two.”

Me: “Do you know the square footage?”

Larger rooms count as two rooms for pricing; very large rooms may count as three.

Customer: “I don’t know that.”

I try to help her out.

Me: “If you can pace out for me on the floor how long your walls are, I can work that out for you.”

Customer: “This is outrageous. Your feet are bigger than mine, so that won’t work.”

Me: “Um, okay. Would you say the walls are more than twice as long as you are tall?”

Customer: “I’ve never had to know this before. This is ridiculous. Just give me a price.”

Me: “Ma’am, I need to know the size of the area. A banquet hall takes more work than a broom closet. Would you be willing to guess for me, if the walls are more than twice as long as your height?”

Customer: “I can’t work that out. Just tell me how much it will cost!”

Trying one last time:

Me: “Okay… if you reach out and touch one wall, and reach into the middle of the room, would you say you make it more than halfway across?”

She told me the square footage of the entire house, but not the specific rooms she needed cleaned, and then began berating me on how much more complicated things are “these days.” 

Her husband, who had been waiting just outside the door, apparently took pity and stepped into the office and gave me the square footage for the rooms in question. I hurried through the relevant transaction and went back to the rest of my work.

Related:
Won’t Step Foot In Without Square Footing

I work in the lumber department.

Customer: “I like the way this board looks, but do you have any without any knots in them?”

Me: “There are the premium boards down at the front of this aisle.”

Customer: “Those are too expensive. I just want a board like this without any knots in it!”

Me: “Sir, it’s wood. Furthermore, it’s pine. Even the premium boards are going to have some knots in them. If you’re looking for something that works like wood but doesn’t have any knots, might I suggest MDF?”

Customer: “I hadn’t thought of that. Thanks!”

I work at a hardware store during the current health crisis. I’m ringing up an older gentleman one morning. At the end of his transaction, he tosses a bill on the counter and starts to walk away.

Me: “Um, sir, you dropped something.”

Customer: “It’s a tip!”

He gave me $100.00! Thank you!

This story is included in our Feel-Good roundup for June 2020!

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