Not Painting The Prettiest Picture

, , , , , | Right | October 30, 2017

(I am the opening cashier in the store one morning. It has been kind of quiet and I am in a good mood. A customer approaches my register with three cans of paint and visible frustration. We go through the usual schtick and he says:)

Customer: “I just want you to know I’m going to [Paint Store] after this.”

Me: “Oh? Was there something you couldn’t find?”

Customer: “I wanted ten cans of this paint and you only had nine. So, I wanted to tell you that you’ve missed out and I’m taking my business elsewhere.”

(A head cashier has been listening. She gives him an apology as I finish the transaction. The customer leaves. Once he’s gone:)

Me: “I came in here looking for ten cans of paint and you had nine. So, I’ll take three, and then buy the other seven at a more expensive place. It doesn’t make sense, but I’m frustrated and therefore someone has to suffer. Joke’s on me, though, cause it’ll be me who suffers.”

(The head cashier and I shared a quick laugh. I get being upset that you couldn’t get everything you wanted, but why screw yourself over like that?)

You Need To Take A Mandatory Break-ing Bad

, , , , , , | Working | September 29, 2017

(My coworkers and I, both teenagers, are finishing up our shift. Our manager notices two empty plastic baggies on the counter.)

Manager: “Anyone know what these baggies are for?”

Coworker: “Meth, probably.”

Manager: “Where’d it all go?”

Me: “We smoked it.”

Manager: “And you didn’t share it with me?!”

Coworker and Me: “Nah.”

Manager: “A**holes. Don’t you know that sharing is caring?”

(We all went back to work.)

If The Shoe Fits… BUY IT!

, , , | Right | September 12, 2017

(Our store works on the basis that you order the item and it is fetched from the warehouse. One customer has come several times and asked to try on work shoes from us. The third time, he brings his wife. This happens ten minutes before closing.)

Supervisor: “I’m sorry, but this is the third time this week you’ve come and tried these shoes, I’m going to have to ask you to make a decision.”

Wife: “So, you are telling us to make a decision now?!”

Supervisor: “I’m sorry, but that is merchandise, and we need it to be in decent condition for the customer who buys them. Your husband has been here twice already, and my colleague says you’ve tried the same shoe each time. Furthermore, we’re due to close soon, and we need to make sure everyone has been served and their items picked by then.”

Wife: “Fine, if you’re going to be like that, you can take your shoes back!”

(The husband takes the shoes off, puts them in the box, and slams them on the counter, but she’s determined to have the last word.)

Wife: “You’ve lost a sale!”

Supervisor: “I don’t mind!”

You’re Painting Yourself Into A Corner

, , , , | Right | September 12, 2017

(Sometimes a can of paint is mixed incorrectly, thus creating the wrong color. When this happens, the gallon or quart is marked down to a lower price, significantly less than the original price, and labelled as a mis-tint.)

Customer: *walks to register with quart of mis-tint paint* “I have to tell you…”

Me: “Okay…”

Customer: “I don’t need all this paint. I just need a little bit of it. Like, only a small amount.”

Me: “Okay…”

Customer: “…so, can you open this and just give me that much?”

Me: “Um… No. I can’t open a fresh quart of paint and remove a portion of the contents.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t need the whole thing!”

Me: “Well, I can’t take some out then put it back on the shelf.”

Customer: “Fine. Then just charge me for how much I’m going to use.”

Me: “So, you want me to charge you for ONLY the amount you’re going to use, but GIVE you the entire quart?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Then take out what I need.”

Me: “Why don’t you buy the entire quart? It’s only $5.00 when it used to be $22.00. That’s a great buy.”

Customer: “Because! I don’t need the entire thing!”

Me: “This is a mis-tint, it’s marked down to less than half the cost.”

Customer: “No! It’s not a mis-tint! The person in your paint department is an a**-hole and doesn’t know how to mix paint.”

Me: “I’ll be sure to let him know that.”
Customer: “Y’know what? Forget it. I don’t want it.” *buys only a soda then leaves*

Unfiltered Story #91968

, , | Unfiltered | August 28, 2017

(I work in a warehouse based company that has customers pick items from a catalogue, most of our customers are tradesmen so they don’t mind some sarcasm)
Colleague: Hey [my name]!
(I look over)
Customer: This customer wants to know how long our screws are!
Me: Sir, how long is a piece of string?
Customer:… Yeah that was a pretty dumb question wasn’t it?

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