Just Wants The Decking Answer

, , , | Right | July 1, 2017

(A customer approaches my counter empty handed and asks how to go about finding the weight of a piece of wood he is looking for. I know we don’t have a scale in the store. I figure maybe we can look it up online. I call the lumber manager and ask him. He asks the customer what piece of wood it is.)

Customer: “Decking.”

Manager: “Oh. Well, the Internet won’t give us a certain weight on that because of the moisture retention of each piece. It’s all different weights.”

Customer: *annoyed* “Well, I’ll just call my telephone. It always has the answers to my questions.”

How To Become A Hit With Your Boss

, , , | Right | June 9, 2017

(I’m female, and work in a hardware store in a small town. My boss is an elderly lady infamous for two things: always taking the customer’s side, and being extremely proper and conservative. We have a regular customer who comes in a few times per week and always makes vulgar and sexist jokes, comments, and gestures towards the female staff. We’ve complained to our boss multiple times about him, but she never does anything. She claims turning him away will be bad for business. So, normally we let the male staff handle him and keep our distance. I would quit, but it’s a small town and jobs are hard to come by. This particular evening I’m kneeling down stocking screws when he comes down the aisle.)

Regular: “Huh, you look like you spend a lot of time on your knees, hey?” *creepy laugh*

Me: *trying to ignore him* “Can I help you find anything?”

Regular: “Naw, I’m just admiring the view” *motions to my butt and winks*

Me: “All right, well, if you need anything just ask. [Male Coworker] is at the back desk.”

(I stand up to leave, but as I’m walking past him, he proceeds to grab my butt and give it a squeeze. Having endured years of his comments and gestures, I snap and end up punching him square in the face. He staggers back and falls into a rack of car fuses, holding his face and cursing.)

Me: *having completely lost it* “DON’T YOU EVER F***ING TOUCH ME AGAIN, UNDERSTAND?! I’LL HIT YOU A LOT HARDER NEXT TIME!”

(I notice something out of the corner of my eye and turn to see my boss standing there, eyes wide and mouth open. Then she starts marching towards us, angrily.)

Boss: “How DARE you?!”

(At this point, I’m positive I’m about to be fired for both swearing and hitting a customer. However, she walks over to the customer instead.)

Boss: “Get the f*** out of my store!”

(She chases him out of the store, screaming profanities as he holds his bloody nose. She eventually comes back to me.)

Boss: “Now, [My Name], are you all right? Have you called the police?”

Me: “No, not yet, but I will. I honestly thought you were going to fire me.”

Boss: “Oh, heavens, no. The only thing I have to tell you is to hit the a**-hole harder next time!”

(I saw a very new side of my boss that day.)

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Should Have Handicapped It After A While

, , , | Right | June 5, 2017

(I work at a very well-known hardware store. I am checking out two ladies and am in the middle of the transaction when a woman behind them starts trying to get my attention.)

Customer: “Ma’am! Ma’am!”

(I’m not ignoring her, but trying to multitask and finish the transaction. I look up at her.)

Customer: “Ma’am! You have to help her! At the key machine! It ate her key! She’s handicapped!”

(I look up at the key machine in question.)

Me: “The machine has to take the key to make a copy… I can’t leave my register right now.”

Customer: *genuinely concerned* “You have to help her! She’s handicapped!”

Me: “I can’t do anything right now.” *points to transaction taking place* “But I can try to call someone.” *I call the head cashier, who says she’ll be right over*

Customer: “Don’t you hear the noise it’s making? It’s broken! You have to help her. She’s handicapped!”

(At this point I have noticed that the customer at the key machine is in a motorized cart and I hear the machine’s odd noise. I finish the transaction and see that another associate is now helping her and that she is very calm.)

Customer: *who I am now checking out* “She’s handicapped!”

Wish You Could Preserve These Things On Tape

, , , | Working | June 5, 2017

(I am a cashier at a popular hardware store. A sweet-looking old woman who looks to be in her 60s comes to my checkout lane with a variety of items, two of which are scotch tape and a yardstick.)

Me: *begins to check out items* “Hello, ma’am. Did you find everything alright?”

Customer: “Well, now that you mention it, I do have a question.”

Me: “Sure, what can I help you with?”

Customer: “Do you know what a measurer is?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Well, my son knew I was running up to the hardware store and said that he needs a tape measurer. I got the tape, but do you think he means this for the measurer?” *points to yardstick*

(At this point, I am trying very hard not to laugh. However, I didn’t have the heart to tell her that that was definitely not what her son meant.)

Me: “I think your son will be fine with whatever you get him. Have a great day!”

(The old woman, who looked satisfied, walked out the door with her items. A man came to the store the next day to return some tape and a yardstick, saying something about his mother being confused! It certainly made my day!)

Not Acting Sweet To Each Other

| WI, USA | Working | May 26, 2017

(The grocery department of our store is run from a desk in the far back corner of the store, well away from the registers. I hear this radio call one day, answered by the grocery manager.)

Head Cashier: “Grocery, I need a price check on a bag of candy. The customer says it’s supposed to be [price], but it’s ringing up at [slightly higher price].”

Manager: “What’s the code number?”

Head Cashier: “[Code Number].”

Manager: *probably checking the computer price and location* “Well, it’s actually on the candy aisle up by you.”

Head Cashier: “I need a price check, not where it is.”

Manager: “What register are you on, if I can ask?”

Head Cashier: “Eight, why?”

Manager: “I’m in the back of the store, totally opposite from where the candy is. It would have taken you ten seconds to walk over and check it yourself. I am trying to help some customers at the desk all the way back here. It would be quicker to just send another cashier to look.”

Head Cashier: “If you would just do your job we would have a price by now.”

Manager: “I AM doing my job. I have five customers waiting to be helped while I’ve been radioing you back and forth for something you could have had another cashier do in ten seconds. Did you want me to come up there and tell you five feet away the price? Or can you do your job and check it out yourself?”

Head Cashier: “Fine, sheesh. I’ll just have a cashier check instead of wasting all our time. Like it would kill you to walk up here.”

Manager: “And do your job? Not a chance.”

(The head cashier did get a warning about their behavior because it was so close to him that he could have walked over to it himself. The manager got talked to but no official warnings were given.)

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