Drilling That Fact Into Them

, , , , | Working | March 21, 2018

(I go to a major hardware store chain to buy a mechanism to lock my window in place when it’s open. While wandering the aisles, I’m approached by a male employee. I’m female.)

Employee: “Hi, is there anything I can help you with?”

Me: “Yeah, I need to buy the mechanism that will lock my window in place when it’s open. My window is on the fire escape and I heard those mechanisms are good for safety.”

Employee: “I know what you’re talking about. Here. I’ll show you where to find it.”

(He takes me to the aisle where they are sold and helps me select the right one.)

Employee: “You will need a drill to install this. Do you know someone who owns a drill?”

Me: “I own a drill.”

(Awkward silence from the employee.)

Employee: “Sorry about that.”

Me: “Nope, no problem. Thanks for helping me find this!”

(Not only do I own a drill set, but I happen to love installing things around my apartment!)

Some Informational Baggage

, , , , , | Right | March 15, 2018

(England has just introduced a mandatory charge for carrier bags to larger businesses.)

Customer: *to my colleague* “This is ridiculous. Companies are just going to take advantage of this and it won’t make any difference.”

Me: “Actually, sir, the same law requires we donate all revenue, after VAT, to charity. We have our own foundation which donates to major charities, as well as taking submissions from lesser-known ones, so it is likely any revenue we make from bags will go to this. Furthermore, the charge reduced the use of bags in Wales to a fifth and has proven to be successful.”

(Both are in a stunned silence.)

Colleague: “Where did you learn that?”

Me: “[Variety Store] had huge posters next to the tills boasting the fact about Wales, and the charity point is on the cards warning about the charge.”

(The customer looked at the one I was pointing at, looking rather embarrassed.)

Unfiltered Story #106823

, , , | Unfiltered | March 5, 2018

(The counter has a hatch we open to get through to the shop floor, I partially lift it to get through but my supervisor beats me to the products I’m looking for. I haven’t lifted the hatch fully. My colleague is a guy a few inches taller than me of African descent.)

Customer: “Oi! You crushed my hand with that!”

Colleague: *sceptical* “Are you sure about that, mate?”

Customer: “You bet I’m sure! Your colleague needs to be more careful!”

(I notice that there’s no clear mark, and I recall no shouting from the customer at the time either.)

Customer: “I’m left-handed you know, this is going to affect my work!”

(I tell my supervisor, who looks for the accident book and lets the manager know, however, my manager checked the CCTV and the entire time my hands were on the hatch, his were at his side and nowhere near the hatch, in fact, he was on the side the hinges were at! My manager sent a copy of the footage to head office in case he pressed the matter any further.)

Dealt With That Ultra Smoothly

, , , , , | Right | February 22, 2018

(We’re a trade-oriented store, so we do not sell many paints. What we do, I’ve come to learn rather well.)

Customer: “Excuse me, do you sell [Masonry Paint Brand]?”

Me: “We sure do; in fact, there’s a stack on display on the shop floor with all the SKUs we have.”

(I lead him to it, and show him the ones we have.)

Customer: “I don’t want ‘ultra smooth,’ I want ‘smooth.'”

Me: “We don’t have one labelled ‘smooth,’ just ‘ultra smooth’ and ‘fine textured,’ which effectively has sand mixed into it.”

Customer: “I need ‘smooth.’ ‘Ultra smooth’ is too thin!”

Me: “Sir! I am telling you that we do not carry a [Brand] marked as ‘smooth,’ just ‘ultra smooth’ or ‘fine textured.'”

(This goes back and forth four more times, with me showing on our website. He goes off to our competitor, and I go and get a drink, when I realise something. About ten minutes later, he comes back.)

Customer: “Your competitor is not only clueless, but he is demanding much more for the same thing. It’s not what I want, but I’ll take the ‘ultra smooth’ in white.”

Me: “Sir, I’ve been thinking about it, and if you want something to last, thinner paint can ultimately prove better.”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “The problem with thicker paint is that air bubbles can be trapped inside it. If it dries with these bubbles in, you get a weaker finish structurally than a solid mass, just like with plaster inside your home.”

Customer: “You are a clever girl!”

(He was much happier about the “ultra smooth” after that.)

Where There’s Smoke Alarms…

, , , , | Right | February 16, 2018

(I work in a hardware store. A customer comes in.)

Me: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “I want to return this smoke alarm.”

Me: “Okay. Can I pull up your details?”

(He did indeed buy items on the day in question, but not a smoke alarm.)

Me: “Sir, the smoke alarm doesn’t match anything on your receipt I pulled up.”

Customer: “Well, I bought it here!”

Me: “Let me try something else, then.”

(I set a portable scanner to check barcodes. It comes up with an error saying the barcode isn’t in our database.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. We do not carry this item. It’s not in our database, and we use this across the entire chain.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! I’m telling you I bought this here at [Store] yesterday! It’s in mint condition! You have an agreement on your receipts that I have thirty days to change my mind!”

Me: “Sir, sorry, but is now a bad time to point out that the bag you pulled the smoke alarm from has [Competitor] written on it?”

(The customer blanches and looks at it.)

Me: *pointing in direction of [Competitor]* “Two doors down; you can’t miss it.”

(The customer grabbed the smoke alarm and was off like a shot.)

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