I live in a small town in Kansas. Before caller ID, I got a few calls that went to the answering machine at my house.

Caller: “Bob, we got that [Brand] drill you wanted to look at. Stop by.”

Caller: “Bob, you need to stop by about that [Brand] drill before we have to send it back.”

Caller: “Bob, we had to send the [Brand] drill back and charge you a restocking charge of 15%.”

Several days went by, and then I got another call from the same company, telling Bob the carpet he’d ordered was in. Only this time, he identified himself and left his phone number, so I called the guy.

Me: “You called about carpet arriving for Bob?”

Caller: “Yes, Bob, your carpet is here.”

Me: “I am not Bob.”

Caller: “Then why are you calling me?”

Me: “You have been calling the wrong number and leaving Bob messages. Bob isn’t getting them.”

Caller: “Then why are you calling me?”

Me: “Well, dude, I don’t really care, but I was just trying to help you out by telling you that you have been calling my house in Kansas and I am not Bob. You might want to check the number you are calling before you lose Bob as a customer. And, by the way, maybe you should check your attitude, a**hole.”

I hung up.

I am a female who has worked traditionally male-dominated jobs my whole life: auto mechanic, concert stagehand, and presently boat captain.

I live in an island city that does not have much in the way of shopping, so when I am on the mainland, I stock up on tools and essentials I can’t get back home. I stop into the store and grab a few pairs of pliers and other small tools to add to my work bag and head to the counter.

Cashier: “Do you have a phone number with us?”

Me: “No.”

Cashier: “What about your husband or son?”

I’m unsure how to answer because I have honestly never been asked about marriage or children while checking out. After all, they are my tools.

Me: “Ummmmm… No, I am happily single, thank you.”

The cashier did not say another word nor looked at me for the rest of the transaction.  

Lesson learned: sometimes the woman buying the tools is actually going to use them!

An old lady and her adult son are checking out. It is the day after a major named storm passed through Scotland and caused some damage.

Adult Son: “I was here yesterday to get some plants for my garden, and then you told me it was closed!”

Me: “Yes, we had to close the garden centre yesterday because of the storm, and then we had to close early in case it put staff in danger.”

Adult Son: “But I wanted to do my planting yesterday. You ruined my weekend plans!”

Me: “You wanted to plant in your garden yesterday.”

Adult Son: “Yes!”

Me: “During the storm?”

Adult Son: “Yes!”

Before I can try to come up with a diplomatic response, the mother finally speaks up.

Mother: “Jesus save me, if I had known this is how you would have turned out, I would have swallowed you.”

To this day, I still do not know how I finished that transaction without laughing my a**e off.

When some people reach a certain age, they lose their filter and don’t give a crap who it bothers, just like those that can be found in these 10 Stories About Awesome Older Customers Who Act As Young As They Feel!

I was the only girl working at a family-owned hardware store. It was a quaint little place, and I got along with my coworkers. They looked out for me at times. One time, though, a coworker didn’t.

I was made to work the checkout every day (a story for another time), so I dealt with every single customer that ever came in. One day, an old guy came in who could’ve been my grandfather’s age. He came to check out.

Me: “Are you part of our rewards program, sir? And if not, would you like to join?”

During this interaction, two of my coworkers were with me. [Coworker #1] was at the register taking care of something next to me, but both guys heard what the customer said. This old man looked at me and said:

Customer: “Well, that depends. Is the reward a kiss from you? If not, I don’t want it.”

And then he burst out laughing.

I was eighteen working this job but looked fifteen half the time. (Good genes!) I was embarrassed and uncomfortable and turned to [Coworker #1] for help. But no, he started laughing and joked with the old guy about how red my face was turning.

The customer left, and I moved toward [Coworker #2] to help him with the job he was doing. [Coworker #1] left for another section of the store and [Coworker #2] turned to me.

Coworker #2: “Are you okay? That was uncomfortable. Do you mind if I step in if that happens again? [Coworker #1] didn’t help at all!”

I was so happy that at least someone realized I was uncomfortable. That was only one of many times that I wanted to quit working there.

A couple are at my checkout. The guy asks me a question.

Customer: “Can we use this inside?”

Me: “Sir, this is an outside fireplace.”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Sir, the outside fireplace can only be used outside.”

Customer: “Well that’s just stupid.”

The wife speaks up.

Customer’s Wife: “It’s not the fireplace that’s stupid, honey.”

This story is part of our celebration of Not Always Right publishing over 100,000 stories!

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