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The Power Of “Believe”

| UK | Awesome Customers, Home Improvement

(I work in a hardware store where items are ordered from a catalogue, paid for, and then received at the counter. You have to ask to see the items before purchase; because of this we deal mostly with tradesmen. Because I look very young for my age (I’m often mistaken for 15 or 16 whereas I’m actually 24) people often don’t believe me when I give them information. Mostly they think I’m a new starter and ask to speak to one of my male colleagues, who then defer to me as I’m actually the senior service assistant at my store. This means I’m often going and getting the items to get them out of their packaging to prove that the dimensions or whatever other information they’re looking for.)

Me: “Hi, sorry for the wait; how can I help you?”

Customer: “I’d like to return this strainer waste. I’m actually looking for just the strainer, but this isn’t the right size. I know you have another in the book in a different make. Do you know if it’s bigger?”

Me: *getting the program up to find the item in the warehouse* “I’m afraid they’re the same size. I’ve compared them before.”

Customer: “No, that’s fine. Just the refund, then.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll just find it… Wait, you believed me?”

Customer: “Yep.”

Me: “But no one believes me.”

Customer: “But why would you lie?”

Me: “I know, right?”

(I process the refund, and at the end we’re supposed to bid farewell with some variation of “thank you, goodbye”)

Me: “Thank you for believing me! Bye bye!”

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A Transference Of Skills

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Bizarre

(I work at a well-known chain of supermarkets; however, this story takes place at a well-known hardware store. The two stores are completely different. I am shopping at said hardware place one day.)

Customer: “Excuse me, do you have anymore of the drill sets that are on special this week out the back?”

Me: “Um, I’m sorry, but I don’t actually work here.”

(The guy looked me up and down and laughed.)

Customer: “I am so sorry. I recognized you from [Supermarket where I work] and forgot where I actually was shopping. Sorry.”

Me: “No problem.”

(This has now become a recurring joke between this guy and me whenever we see each other around town. He actually has a great sense of humor.)

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The Great Search

, | USA | Funny Names, Home Improvement

(My friend needs expanding foam, which commonly is under the brand name “Great Stuff.” My friend, however, misunderstands and thinks everyone is just saying how great it is. After seemingly fruitless search for the brand name, he eventually goes to a hardware store to find it:)

Friend: *to employee* “I’m looking for expanding foam.”

Employee: “Oh, yeah, Great Stuff!”

Friend: *yelling* “I ALREADY KNOW IT’S HOW GREAT IT IS! I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHAT IT’S CALLED!”

Employee: “No, no, no. It’s actually called ‘Great Stuff.’”

Friend: “Oh…”

(For the record, it really is great stuff.)

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Don’t Whistle While I Work

| OR, USA | Bad Behavior

(I am a stocker at one of the larger hardware, gardening, and DIY type outlets in the state. On this particular summer day I’ve just finished creating a display for lawnmowers when I suddenly hear a shrill whistle from behind me. On instinct I look around and see a middle-aged gentleman looking in my direction, but not at me. Figuring no one in this day and age could still think that trying to whistle to get someone’s attention is good manners, I ignore him… until he walks up to me and whistles again, shrill enough that my ears almost hurt.)

Customer #1: “Boy! You deaf or something? I need service!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I didn’t realize you needed help.”

Customer #1: “What? You dumb as well? Where’s your d*** manager?”

(I call the manager over.)

Customer #1: “What sort of white trash s*** you employing here? I ask for help and this moron just ignores me!”

Me: “Sir, you whistled at me. That could’ve meant anything.”

Customer: “What? No, I didn’t! What kind of crap are you trying to pull to cover your a**?”

(A second customer now comes up.)

Customer #2: “Actually he’s right. I heard you whistle all the way from the end of the aisle.”

Customer #1: “I didn’t whistle!”

Customer #2: “Yes, you did; he and I both heard you!”

Manager: “Sir, with all due respects, my employee is right. If you need help ask for it, don’t whistle. He’s not a dog.”

Customer #1: “What’s everyone going on about whistling and dogs? Do I look like I have a dog?”

Customer #2: “Whether you do or not doesn’t matter. You whistled and I will vouch for this employee that you did it twice!”

Customer #1: “This whole store is staffed and shopped at by a**-holes! F*** you all, I’m going somewhere else!” *storms out*

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Should Have Listened To Their Direction

| Australia | Geography

(I work for a hardware store. It should be noted that there are about ten stores within 50 km of each other. It’s Sunday morning so there are only four staff members on: a middle-aged white man, a tiny Indian girl, myself, who is a dark hair female, and a blonde lady. A customer calls up and I answer.)

Caller: “Hi, can I please talk to someone in special orders?”

Me: “I am awfully sorry, sir, but our special orders girl isn’t—”

Caller: “I wasn’t finished talking. I want to speak to someone in special orders; I was in earlier today.”

Me: “Like I started saying, sir, she’s not in today and there is no one in with the knowledge to help you out at this time. You—”

Caller: “LOOK HERE. I WAS IN EARLIER TODAY AND I SAW HER! SHE WAS SITTING AT THE DESK WITH TWO REDHEADS AND A CROATIAN MAN. TELL THEM TO STOP TALKING AND DO SOME DAMN WORK. NOW, GIVE ME TO ONE OF THEM. NOW!”

(I am taken aback and confused as no such people have worked here ever.)

Me: “Sir, did you come into [Our Store Location]?”

Caller: “Well, obviously.”

Me: “On [Street]?”

Caller: “Um, NO! I KNOW WHERE I WENT! IT WAS ON [Other Street, at least 13 km away].”

Me: “And that would be your problem then, sir. You have called [Store Location on Street] when you actually went to [Other Location on Other Street].”

Caller: “Oh… Well, then. Who’s the d***-head now…” *click*

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