This Act Was The Tip Of The Iceberg

, , , | Right | November 13, 2020

I’m in my twenties, and this customer is in his late sixties and married. He’s a regular, and he comes off as a little creepy, but I haven’t been able to figure out WHY until today.

Customer: “Oh, look at that! It’s [My Name], all ready to go this fine morning!”

Me: “Good morning, [Customer]. What can I help you with today?”

Customer: “So efficient. So prompt. So cheerful. You’re just a shining star for this bank.”

Me: “Um… well, I don’t think that’s quite the case.”

Customer: “Come on, you can admit it.”

Me: “I’m just trying to do my job, like everyone else.”

Customer: “So you’re not one for over-the-top stuff. You must be wondering what I want from you by complimenting you so much. Well, I don’t want anything.” *Leans in* “At least, not yet.”

Me: *Scoots back* “Pardon?”

Customer: “I’d like to give you a tip. How about [amount]?”

Me: “We are not allowed to accept tips.”

Customer: “Sure you are. I’ll just leave it right here, and oops, it’s yours!”

He actually does pull cash out of his wallet and lay it on my desk.

Customer: “Now I’ll walk away.”

Me: “[Customer], this is a bank. We’re a federally regulated institution. Tips of any kind are considered bribery, and that’s a fireable offense.”

Customer: “But I didn’t tip you. You found it. And you decided to keep it. Got it?”

Me: “Since I saw you take it out of your wallet, and the camera over my head saw you take it out of your wallet, I’d just put it right back in your account. That’s how it works.”

He grumbles, shoves the cash back in his wallet, and walks out the door.

Coworker: “What the h*** was that?”

Me: “He just tried to tip me or something. I don’t know. It was so weird.”

I stopped helping him after that. My coworkers took care of him. After a few instances of this, he complained that I was ignoring him and would sit in the lobby and stare at me when I walked by. He even followed me out of the parking lot at closing one night.

I made it known that his behavior was getting progressively creepier, but no one could do anything, since he hadn’t actually touched or threatened me.

It all came to a head when I filled in at a branch in another town. He followed me over there. The employees at that branch, who’d heard the story, sent me into a back room and didn’t let me come out until he was gone. I found another job not long after that.

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The Adventures Of Beer Man!

, , , , | Right | November 13, 2020

It’s about 10:30 at night. I’m a twenty-one-year-old woman working alone and an obviously drunk man walks in with a sober woman trailing behind him. They grab a twelve-pack of beer and head to my register.

Customer: “Hello! Oh, you’re cute. Do you think I’m cute?”

Me: “Yeah, sure.”

I put on my customer service smile and awkwardly make eye contact with the woman he’s with.

Customer: *Lightly pushing the woman* “That’s my sister. Don’t worry; I’m single. Do you think I’m cute?”

I just try to move things along and get the drunk stranger out of my store.

Me: “Sure, you’re cute.”

Customer: “Nooooo, but really, do you think I’m cute?”

Customer’s Sister: “Yes, she said she does! Just buy your beer and leave the girl alone!”

Customer: “No, really, I wanna know. Am I cute? I have a six-pack. Wanna see?”

He lifts up his shirt.

Me: “Oh, very nice. Yes, you’re cute!”

Customer: “Thank you!”

He and his sister finish up the transaction and start leaving, but he stops by the door and clutches his beer to his chest.

Customer: “Hey, this beer is you. This is me hugging you. Will you hug me back?”

I then give him an air hug, lightly flapping my hands in the air like I am patting his back.

Customer: *Super excited as he leaves* “Yes! You’re so cute! I love you! Call me!”

Me: *Quietly to myself* “Ah, there goes the love of my life, beer man, and he didn’t even leave his number.”

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Keep Your Eyes Off My Cupcakes!

, , , , | Working | November 12, 2020

This happens to my housemate who is fairly busty. She goes to pick up a cake that she ordered. She walks into the bakery and the male worker visibly just stares at her chest.

Housemate: “I’m here to pick up a cake I ordered?”

The worker continues staring.

Housemate: “Uh… it was Black Forest. I was in here on Friday?”

Worker: “Do you have a job?”

Housemate: “Yes, I’m a [work position].”

Worker: “I’d like you to work here! You can work the front counter and do… other things…”

My housemate quickly asked for her cake again and left very quickly! We won’t be going back there for a while!

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The Best Boss, I Swear

, , , , | Right | October 30, 2020

I’m a teenager working part-time for a friend of the family who owns his own hole-in-the-wall second-hand bookshop. It’s a very relaxed atmosphere and I usually wear jeans and a T-shirt as I am mostly shelving donations, adding price tags, and sweeping up.

Even though I’ve known the owner my whole life, he’s always very professional in the store since it’s his business. I’ve never looked “mature for my age.” I look exactly like who I am: a skinny, high-school nerd. 

I’m wearing a T-shirt that says, “I solemnly swear I am up to no good,” with lightning bolts and footsteps around it, merchandise from the “Harry Potter” series. An older man walks up to me and sees my T-shirt. He gets a lecherous look on his face.

Old Man: “How about you and me get up to no good together?” *Wink*

I respond automatically and without thinking.

Me: “Eww!”

He gets red in the face and storms off. I hear him shouting at my boss about how I was so rude to him. My boss comes over to me and I’m suddenly worried I’m in trouble.

Boss: “[My Name], this customer tells me you were rude to him but I wanted to get your side of the story.”

I tell him exactly what the customer said to me.

Boss: *Absolutely explodes* “She’s only fifteen, you sick f***! Get the h*** out of my store!” *Turns back to me* “If you want to tell your parents what happened today, I’ll totally back you up. But could you maybe leave out the part where I swore in front of you?”

I worked there for years and never heard him say anything more severe than “darn it” the whole time. But I loved that the swear word was what he thought my parents would choose to focus on.

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He Can Water Slide Right On Out Of There

, , , , | Right | October 29, 2020

I’m a young teenage girl working as a lifeguard to earn some extra money. I’m at the bottom of the stairs to the water slides, measuring kids to make sure they reach the height requirement.

I’m twirling my whistle around my finger when four men in their late twenties, maybe early thirties walk by me. Three of them keep walking, but one of them just stops and stares at me. I wait to see if he’ll walk away, but he just keeps staring at me, so I speak up.

Me: “Hello, sir! Is there anything I can help you with?”

Guest: *Laughs* “Yes, I think there is.” *Steps closer* “Those are some pretty deft fingers you’ve got there.”

I immediately stop twirling the whistle.

Me: “If there’s nothing I can help you with, please continue up the stairs to the slides, or turn around and enjoy the rest of the park.”

Guest: *Inching even closer* “You can help me by telling me when your shift ends, and then show me what else you can do with those fingers.”

This man is more than ten years my senior. I lean forward and look him dead in the eyes.

Me: “You want to know what I’ll be doing with my fingers once my shift ends?”

Guest: *Nods eagerly*

Me: “Pleasuring my girlfriend.”

Guest: *Violent whole body recoil* “You… you’re a f****** [homosexual slur]!”

He thrusts his finger at my face.

Guest: “You should have told me you were a [slur], you dirty b****!”

Me: *Smiling smugly* “If there’s anything else I can help you with, please let me know; otherwise, you can continue up the stairs to the slides, or enjoy the rest of the park.”

Guest: “This is ridiculous! This is f****** ridiculous! You’re going to Hell, you ugly b****.”

He turned around to storm off, and he got maybe five steps away before slipping and falling.

After my shift ended, I learned that he demanded to see my manager, and then he was removed from the park after my manager told him that half the staff were “f****** [slurs]” and he’d been interacting with them all day.

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