Their Only Dream Is For You To Leave

, , , | Right | January 17, 2019

(I’m working the night shift at a hotel during a big Christmas party of over 500 people. We’re all helping out wherever needed, so I switch from working the bar to working the party hall fairly regularly.)

Guest: *sits down at the bar and orders a drink* “So, do you enjoy working here?”

Me: *while making his drink* “Oh, yes, sir. My colleagues are great and the hotel is beautiful, so I enjoy it very much.”

Guest: “But it has to be stressful, right?”

Me: “It can be, yes. But in the end, that depends on how you look at things.”

Guest: “True. Still, you look like a bright girl; wouldn’t you like to do something else?”

Me: “I enjoy my work, so no, not really.”

Guest: “But this job can’t possibly pay you enough! I mean, I work as a manager in my company, and even my pay isn’t enough for the people I have to put up with! You’ve got to meet more idiots than me!”

(I’m trying really hard not to think “Yes, people like you…” This conversation is disrupted by me serving other customers, by the way. But trying to include this would probably create confusion.)

Guest: “Really now. Why don’t you study something? I’m sure you could do that! You could be the boss around here!”

Me: “I can always do that at a later time when I’m sure what kind of degree I’d like to get. For now, I’m content.”

Guest:Really? You’re content serving a**holes drinks?! And clearing dirty dishes? Are you sure you don’t want something better for yourself?”

(A colleague asks me to help him out in the party hall; I am very glad to get away from this guy. Towards the end of the party, while I am clearing the last glasses off the tables, the same guest finds me again. He is drunk and yelling.)

Guest: “THIS is your DREAM, REALLY?! REALLY?!”

(I ignore him and keep on clearing the glasses away. When I return from our back office, an arm is suddenly slung around my shoulder. It is the same guest again.)

Guest: “You’re a pretty, smart girl. You could do so much better. I’m going to help you! I’ll protect you! You can quit right now. I’ll get you a place at a university and you can come back and run this hotel!”

Me: *shrugging off his arm* “Thanks, but I really do enjoy working here. I don’t want to study right now and I don’t want to quit.”

Guest: “BUT WHY? WHY?! WHY DO WORK EVERY IDIOT CAN DO? You’re better than this!”

(I walked away from him, as he got more and more agitated and tried to grab me again. He started to scare me a bit. When I reached the bar, he was still in the hallway screaming how I was so much better than this job. His coworkers collected him soon after, and one sought me out to apologize for his behavior.)

Beautifully Cute

, , , , | Right | January 16, 2019

(I work in a store where we’re encouraged to dress fashionably while wearing as many items from the store as possible. I’m coming out of the back room with one of my male coworkers. We’ve just clocked in.)

Coworker: “You have such a cute style!”

Me: “Thanks! I love your shirt!”

(A customer seemingly comes out of nowhere. He looks high.)

Customer: “You shouldn’t say that.”

Us: “…”

Customer: “You should never call a woman cute. She’s beautiful.”

Coworker: “I wasn’t calling her cute.”

Customer: “Good. Because she’s beautiful.”

Us: “…”

Customer: “Beautiful.”

(He continues to smile at me as I put away clothes on their proper racks. With a last, “Beautiful…” he floats over to another part of the store.)

Coworker: “What the h*** was that? I’m gay and you have a girlfriend.”

Me: *jokingly looking into one of our wall mirrors* “Beautiful…”

It Needs To Be A Nudge Nudge Wink Wink Before It’s Official

, , , , , , | Romantic | January 12, 2019

(I have glasses, and sometimes when they get dirty I close one of my eyes and look to see if it’s that side of the glasses or the other that’s dirty. I am walking to class and I see some blurriness, so I do the thing I mentioned. I close one of my eyes and look. Then I notice a boy looking funny at me. I brush it off because not everyone does what I do. It is later that day when I am waiting in the hall and browsing NotAlwaysRight. The same guy I saw sits down next to me and starts to lean in and play bad music on his speaker. I just keep sitting there, still reading.)

Guy: “Soooo… a couple of hours ago…”

Me: *looks up and waits for him to continue*

Guy: *raises eyebrow*

Me: *still waiting*

Guy: *starts to lean in, probably for a kiss*

Me: “Uh. You okay?”

Guy: “Yeah? Why? You scared?”

Me: “No, just confused.”

Guy: “What’s confusing? You were winking at me just a while ago!”

Me: “…” *remembers this is the same dude as before* “Sorry, I was just looking through my glasses.”

Guy: “Yeah, right.” *stands up and starts to leave*

Me: “Well… good luck to the next girl you want to randomly kiss in the hall.”

Guy: *looks at me surprised and hurries away*

(Peeps, if you think someone is winking at you, that doesn’t mean you can just kiss ’em.)

Textbook Case Of Creepiness

, , , , , , , | Related | January 10, 2019

(My older brother and I have a typical brother-sister relationship, though most everyone I meet says we’re way closer than a lot of siblings. One day, my cousin, who lives nearby and has always been best friends with my brother, comes over. They’re both three years older, and we all live at our homes. My girlfriend comes over, too.)

Brother: “[My Name]! [Girlfriend] is here!”

Me: “Thanks!”

(My cousin walks into the room just as I greet my girlfriend, and we move to go upstairs.)

Cousin: “Hey, what’s a pretty girl like you doing holding those textbooks? Let [My Name] carry them!” *laughs, grinning at my girlfriend and my brother*

Brother: “Actually, you should let me carry them.”

(I’m shocked because it sounds like my brother is flirting with her, and I thought he would never do that.)

Girlfriend: “No. I’ve got them, thank you very much.”

(She sneers, though I know she’s scared, because my brother is probably a foot taller than us, and my cousin isn’t much smaller.)

Brother: “Please, just one?”

(He winks at me, where my cousin can’t see, and I nod to my girlfriend. My brother takes the books and whirls around, hitting my cousin in the head.)

Me: “[Brother]!”

Brother: “Leave. Now.”

Cousin: “What the f***, man?

Brother: “You’ve always been a creep, and I put up with it when it was about porn stars and s***, but my sister’s girlfriend? No way! Get the f*** out of my house and don’t come back!”

Cousin: “You’re a [LGBT slur], [My Name]? No wonder you’re so ugly! I—“

Brother: “SHUT. THE. F***. UP! NOW!”

(My brother throws the book on the floor, and grabs my cousin’s hair, which is past his ears.)

Brother: “[My Name], door!”

(I scrambled over the railing, dropped a foot to the floor, and ran to open the door. My brother pulled our cousin along and threw him outside. I moved to slam the door, but my cousin grabbed my arm and started screaming cuss words. He tried to yank me outside, but my brother punched him in the face, and as soon as our cousin let go of me, slammed the door closed, locking it. Obviously, we didn’t drive him home, and things were a bit tense at Christmas.)

Voicing Your Concerns

, , , , , , | Right | January 10, 2019

I was working at a call center for a few months after getting my BA. I had a few calls that were really bad; I worked in billing for a major cable and Internet provider, and people would call to yell if their bill went up even a dime. One story sticks out to me, though.

This man called in to go over the charges on his account to see if he could get any refunds.

I pulled up his account, and there were a little over $700 in charges for on-demand pornography. As per the company policy about on-demand movies, we have to go over every title and tell them how long it was watched for — if they didn’t watch more than the first few minutes, we can give them a refund.

I, a woman, had to read out all the titles of the dozens of porn flicks this man had downloaded — they had all been watched in entirety. There were some pretty racy titles. It was hard for me to keep a straight face and a steady voice, but I pulled through! It was a slow day, so my coworkers were gathered around to listen in on this fiasco. I don’t blame them.

The customer was nice and polite throughout the call, but he was obviously breathing pretty heavily, grunting occasionally, too.

When I had finished, he said, “Thank you… You have a very sexy voice.” I didn’t know how to respond to that, and I was already pretty flustered.

When the call finally ended — he didn’t get a single refund and paid the bill in full — I pulled up the notes section on his account. Apparently, he does this every month.

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