A previous boyfriend was legendary in his obliviousness. It was a running joke with all his friends and family. This particular instance still makes me laugh.

I had just started a new job that his sister had gotten me, and she warned me that the office had a stalker. This random guy liked to chat up all the long-term female hires and would send the newest ones flowers, chocolates, and love notes. He was technically harmless as he didn’t follow anyone home or talk to the girls in person himself. He also would change his attention to the newest new person — which is a little weird, but it’s better than a regular stalker, I guess?

During my first week there, I was sent this absolutely gorgeous arrangement of roses in a pretty vase with a ribbon bow. [Boyfriend]’s sister said it would be hilarious if I took them home and timed how long it took [Boyfriend] to notice them.

I took them home, put them on an end table by the couch with the light on, curled up on the end right next to the flowers, and started reading. [Boyfriend] came home, said hi, asked about my day, and then went off to change clothes. He came back in, sat with me a while, still chatting, and then wandered out again.

Two hours later, he walked back in and stopped dead.

Boyfriend: “Where did the flowers come from?”

He did not appreciate me laughing and saying they had been there the whole time.

I’m a seventeen-year-old girl working for a chain craft store. I’m on my lunch break shopping as a normal customer, with no uniform or identification that says I work there. This man comes running up to me.

Man #1: “Do you work here?”

Me: “Yes, but technically not right now, since I’m on my lunch and not being paid.”

He proceeds to ignore my entire sentence. He grabs me by the arm. This man is probably in his early thirties, and as I stated before, I am seventeen and I’m a very small female. He begins to drag me to the register.

Man #1: “Your cashier needs help, and I’ve been waiting for my change for five minutes now!”

Me: “Please remove your hand from me before I drop these candles.”

To his benefit, he does. We make it up to the front, and there is a long line with one cashier working. I proceed to just page over the PA system for backup and go back to my lunch break.

The next thing I know, the man’s friend comes up to me and also grabs me by the arm to drag me to the registers.

Me: “What is with you and your friend and your need to put your hands on me?! Now please remove them before I get someone to escort you out!”

My manager then approaches me.

Manager: “Can you please hop on a register for just a couple of minutes? You’ll get an extra five for your lunch.”

Annoyed, I do what they ask and hop on a register. I start ringing up the guy who grabbed me. He has a $3,000 basket of sewing lights and Visa gift cards, and he pulls out a wad of cash. I take the cash from him, and it definitely doesn’t feel right, so I put it through our bill readers and mark the bills with the counterfeit marker. Both indicate that these are fake bills.

I hand back all the money he gave me.

Me: “This money is fake. You need to leave the store, and you are not welcome back. I will be informing my manager, and they will decide whether a police report needs to be filed.”

The guy fast-walked out the door. l told my manager everything and told them I’d be needing fifteen minutes more lunch time since the guy took up eighteen minutes of my time and wasted them. I didn’t get the extra lunch time.

My mum, dad, and a friend were sitting at the bar at their local pub when some d****ebag came up and decided to wind up my mum. She told him to stop. He didn’t stop.

My dad and their friend quickly picked up their drinks and moved to a table, leaving my mum and the d****ebag at the bar.

A pub regular and his friend had watched the scene unfold and joined my dad and his friend at their table as soon as they sat down.

Regular: “Why did you two move?”

Before my dad could respond, his friend replied:

Friend: “I’m not gonna be there when she spills his blood.”

Thankfully, the d****ebag got the picture after a couple of other regulars intervened and politely escorted him from the pub.

This story takes place in France during the summer of 2020. The global health crisis has “slowed down” a little bit, so masks are not mandatory but are still strongly promoted. I am wearing one while walking to my job. I’m not really good at interacting with strangers, and this morning, I’m still feeling sleepy.

I’m on one of the main streets of my city when I see a man with a paper in hand who seems lost. We are in a tourist area, especially in summer, so I imagine he is a tourist looking for someplace. I make eye contact a little bit unintentionally, so he starts talking to me.

Man: *In French* “Hey, are you Italian?”

We’re close to the Italian border, and yes, I’m part Italian, but I’m starting to get creeped out.

Me: “Yes.”

He switches to Italian and starts SHAKING MY HAND.

Man: “Oh, you’re beautiful. Are you from Milano?”

Me: *In Italian* “No. Sorry, I need to go to work.”

Man: “Oh, okay. Goodbye.”

Then, he proceeded to shake my hand and try to kiss me on the cheek. Now, that’s kind of a normal thing to do in France between people that know each other, as a way to say hello or goodbye (pretty much like a handshake). It is not something you do with a stranger, and obviously not something you do in the middle of a global health crisis.

Oh, and since I had a mask on, instead of the cheek, he kissed me on the neck. I practically ran away, and when I got to my office, I went to the bathroom to clean myself as much as possible. I still don’t understand how I did not react, but I think I was just amazed someone could do something this stupid.

Related:
Why Does No One Understand Personal Space?!

My mother works in cardiology.

Patient’s Dad: “So, you work with hearts?”

Mother: “Yep!”

Patient’s Dad: “Oh. I wonder if you could heal a broken heart.”

Mother: “Um… I don’t know about that.”

The guy’s wife was RIGHT THERE.