Her Paranoia Is Cut From The Whole Cloth

, , , , , , | | Friendly | June 6, 2019

(I am fourteen years old but look like I’m nine. My computer teacher at school puts a cloth over everyone’s hands to practice touch typing. I do this while typing up an assignment in the public library. A stranger pulls the cloth away.)

Stranger: “What are you doing?”

Me: “Homework.”

(She looks over at my screen, and I block it because it is not her business.)

Stranger: “That’s not homework. You’re covering up because you are doing something bad. Why else would you cover the screen and your hands?

(She chucks my cloth elsewhere.)

Me: “It is my homework, not yours, and the cloth is just how we were taught to touch type.”

Librarian: “Ma’am, please keep your voice down. Sweetie, is she bothering you? Where are your parents?”

(You have to be twelve to be here alone. I now see that the stranger is looking at my screen again.)

Me: “Hey!”

(The librarian turns off the monitor.)

Librarian: “Ma’am, please just go mind your business.”

Stranger: “She’s hiding something bad! A child doesn’t mean innocent.”

(A second librarian has arrived and is escorting her away. I turn back to the first librarian.)

Me: “I am fourteen, here alone, and I’m only doing homework. That stranger thought I was up to no good because I had that cloth over my hands, and it got worse when I covered my screen when she stared at it.”

Librarian: “I see. Let’s pick up that cloth she threw over there. Ignore that woman. We’ll keep an eye out.”

(I found out later that she has harassed others for various reasons.)

You’ll Get A Kick Out Of This

, , , , , , , | | Right | June 6, 2019

(I work at a cafe located between a dance studio and a karate studio. Because of our position, a lot of kids and teens from both studios eat here. During this incident, a young man in his twenties is harassing a group of teenage dancers still in their ballet leotards.)

Man: “Hey, baby, nice a**! Can you bend over backward for me?”

(The girls look uncomfortable, so I intervene.)

Me: “Sir, if you continue to harass my customers, I will have to ask you to leave.”

Man: “You can’t kick me out, you little s***! I’m a paying customer.”

(I’m about to say something when a ten-year-old girl in a karate gi walks up to the man.)

Man: “Oh, little karate kid is here. Be careful and don’t break a nail.” *laughs*

(Out of nowhere, the little girl grabs the man, flips him, and kicks him in the groin. Now the man is lying on the floor in pain. The dancer girls and I look shocked, the little girl just shrugs and walks up to the counter.)

Little Girl: “Can I have ice cream, please?”

(The dancer girls offered to pay for the little girl’s ice cream, but I gave her the ice cream for free.)

Old Comebacks Will Be New To Them

, , , , | | Right | June 5, 2019

(It is a really slow day at the fast food place where I work, and I am serving some kid and his friends. They all look to be roughly 11 or 12. One of the boys ordering keeps flirting with me quite aggressively the whole time, and I am starting to get annoyed as I am not interested in robbing the cradle.)

Me: “And did you want anything else?”

Kid: “Yeah, can I add your phone number to my order?”

Me: *deadpan* “Why? Do you need a babysitter?”

(His friends burst out laughing and he quickly left the store after that.)

The Pen Is Mightier Than The Language

, , , , | | Right | June 4, 2019

(I look white but am actually mixed race – Spanish and German. I don’t speak Spanish very well, but I understand it. I’m working with another Spanish coworker when a group of guys walks in, talking in Spanish.)

Coworker #1: *in Spanish* “Hey! I’ll be with you guys in just a minute.” *in English, to me* “I’ve got these guys; they can be kind of rude.”

Me: “Sounds good to me!”

Coworker #1: *in Spanish* “Come on over, guys! What can I help you with today?”

(They want to withdraw some cash, so he starts typing away.)

Customer #1: *in Spanish* “Check out this over here!” *gestures to me*

(They start laughing and discussing amongst themselves what they’d do to me. [Coworker #1] is shaking his head and glancing over at me. I get called to the drive-thru to help a new teller with a transaction. As soon as I walk away, [Coworker #1] reaches into my work area for a pen.)

Me: *in Spanish* “[Coworker #1]! Don’t touch!”

(He drops the pen and starts laughing. The customers stop and stare.)

Customer #2: *in Spanish* “I think she understands what we’re saying.”

Me: *in English* “I understood every word.”

(The color drains out of their faces. They collect their cash and exit quickly.)

Coworker #1: “I was waiting for you to do that!”

Me: “Is that why you took my pen?”

Coworker #1: “Latina mode in 0-100, my friend!”

OCD = Odd Creepy Dirtbag

, , , , | | Friendly | June 1, 2019

(I go to the public library in a town we just moved to. Since most of our stuff hasn’t arrived yet we go only to use their computers. There are four computers with their backs to each other and I grab the one opposite my dad, who is six feet tall, very muscular, and broad-shouldered, and retired from a career in law enforcement. A random guy sits at the computer between me and my dad.)

Guy: “Hey, what are you doing here? It’s summer! Shouldn’t you be outside?”

Me: “Well, I’m not much of an outdoors person and I am doing some research.”

Guy: “I thought school was out. What are you researching?”

Me: “It is, but I like to research random stuff just for the fun of it. Right now I’m looking at OCD, stuff like how they diagnose it and treat it and stuff. It’s really very interesting.”

Guy: “Well… if you want you can come over to my place and do some research there, I’m OCD and can teach you all about it.”

(I start to get creeped out.)

Me: “No, thanks. I’m good.”

Guy: “Why not? It’s just down the street.”

Me: “Um, because I’m underage, and that’s my dad next to you. He’s a retired cop.”

(Suddenly, he notices my dad for the first time and that my dad is glaring at him. He gets up and runs out, knocking his chair over in his rush. My dad stands up to pick it up and gives me a hug.)

Dad: “I’m so proud of you for handling that guy; I was waiting to see just what you would say.”

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